Would it be 'wrong' to choose to be gay?

[Guest]

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/why-should-i-be-allowed-to-marry-i-chose-to-be-gay-8343884.html?origin=internalSearch

unless I've misunderstood the article, it seems to be implying that no-one chooses to be gay, and to even consider it would be 'wrong' in some way..

[eFestivals]

I think you've misunderstood. I think it's trying to say that gay is gay whether you choose it or it chooses you, and why shouldn't a gay person do what straights do.

[Guest]

but every time he mentions that he chose to be gay, it's in a mocking, absurd way... as if he didn't have a choice

[jump]

but every time he mentions that he chose to be gay, it's in a mocking, absurd way... as if he didn't have a choice

[Guest]

He also mocks starighties too by saying before he chose to be gay he was into Manchester United (I thinks it's meant to be more into football rather than the club) and had a Pamela Anderson pencil case.

[jump]

yes...

so what is his point?

Edited January 9, 2013 by jump

[Guest]

The entire piece is in a mocking tone so you can't read too much into him using a mocking tone when talking about being gay.

Overall he is trying to say that it wasn't a choice of being gay or not by showing a mocking account of what choosing to be gay is like which some stupid people think happens.

[jump]

that's what I thought, which goes back to my original question... would it be wrong to choose? why is it stupid to think that for some, that might be the case. I sometimes wonder whether it's simply a choice I made to be heterosexual.

[Guest]

For all the gay people I know that would go against the cause that you can choose. There maybe a slight few people that can choose beyond simply being bisexual or it's too drilled into them that only a guy can go out with a girl to get out of that trap or do you mean if you had a choice between being straight and gay it's wrong to go for the gay option?

I remember I worked in an office once where there was 2 gay guys, one was in his 30's and is in shape, liked clubs and lively whilst the other was in his 50's, overweight and dull and a girl maybe 17 at the time asks one of them "so because you're both gay does that mean you fancy each other then?"

[TheGayTent]

I know someone who thought that if you were gay, every time you looked in the mirror, you would, inevitably, fancy yourself...

[Guest]

I've known heterosexuals like that...

[jump]

well, there's never any shortage of ignorant people.

On the other hand, many people are genuinely confused about how gay relationships work, so as long as it's not being overly offensive, there shouldn't be anything wrong with asking questions about it.

I know someone who thought that if you were gay, every time you looked in the mirror, you would, inevitably, fancy yourself...

[Guest]

It was a sincere question with no malice behind it and wasn't taken the wrong way but it was a kind of blurted out question you regret asking instantly.

I agree questions like that should be asked, it's just a shame that it's seems kind of repressed that as soon you find out someone is gay you have to accept but not acknowledge it especially when you're a kid which is when most of the stereotypes seem to get into your head.

Edited January 9, 2013 by tonyblair

[AcademicPistol]

A lot of gay guys are friends with straight women but why are lesbians and straight men rarely friends to the same degree?

Obviously friendship isn't just about sexual orientation. Do gay men embrace general feminine interests more than lesbians do with (generally) masculine interests?

[Guest]

Bit of a silly post this...

You already know some people think its "wrong", lots of religious people for a start... You know some people think its a choice and some people think you are born that way...

I don't get the point of your post ? What is the real intention here ?

Edited January 9, 2013 by tonyblair

[abdoujaparov]

that's what I thought, which goes back to my original question... would it be wrong to choose? why is it stupid to think that for some, that might be the case. I sometimes wonder whether it's simply a choice I made to be heterosexual.

[fred quimby]

Overall I say go for It Tony. That was what you were really asking right

[Guest]

I dont think it would be wrong to choose one's sexuality...I think it would be impossible. I could choose this evening to be gay, but it would be pointless because I'm not...

[Guest]

Overall I say go for It Tony. That was what you were really asking right

[Guest]

Skim read it

[abdoujaparov]

but not everyone is sure of who/what they are. How does anyone know?

[Guest]

You are really asking this? You really need me to explain?

People may have difficultly understanding their sexuality or coming to terms with the implications, but at a very basic physical level sexuality isn't about choice, it's a physiological response to sensory stimuli....

Edited January 9, 2013 by tonyblair

[abdoujaparov]

so where do bi-sexual people fit in?

[Rufus Gwertigan]

what about if you chose to try it, and then liked it?

[abdoujaparov]

I think the idea there is no choice in it Is bollocks. Obviously we are some what driven by who we are but everyday we control urges and feelings. For example, the women I would of loved to smack right in the face today for parking across two parking bays walked away with nothing more than a dirty look from me instead of knife in her face....

I'm sure people like all manner of kninky ideas and thoughts, acting on them is something else though.

Our society finds homosexuality acceptable so its more visible. Many other forms of sexuality are still shunned or are even still illegal, with some suggesting there is choice in doing the stuff or not.

Also just because someone is born a certain way doesn't make there behaviour default ok does it. So I also struggle with the idea that being born a certain way is the reason why it's. not wrong..... As such....