Stay at home parents

[Guest]

It's quite clear from your words that the only choice you considered when discussing a second child was how you could pay for one. Not that you had a choice to choose to try to have another child or not.

Which just goes to show you haven't got the ability to conceive how others live their life without living their life yourself.

You think you're strange and you frustrate yourself?

[bunique]

Fwiw, I do think saying you find something "strange" is a value judgement. Do I think it would be 'best' for my daughter that she was looked after by me 24/7? Almost certainly. Do I think I could meet her needs in the same way as her nursery do? Probably not as I'm not very good at the creative play stuff! Do I think she gains an enormous amount from childcare? Yep! Do I value my career? Too right I do, I enjoy my job, i've worked and studied to get there, and I work bloody hard at it, and as the main earner it would be an enormous financial sacrifice to give up my job. My trade off was that I took as much mat leave as we could manage - 9 months - and worked part time until she was 2. I won't have a chance to do that again if we have another though!

[bunique]

And not all babies are planned

[TheGayTent]

there was no conversation of whether we could afford her or not

[Guest]

IF we'd sat down and worked out whether we could afford either of our kids, the rational conclusion would be to say "we can't afford one"...

Edited March 20, 2013 by tonyblair

[TheGayTent]

And not all babies are planned

[TheGayTent]

Fwiw, I do think saying you find something "strange" is a value judgement.

[bunique]

Strange just implies abnormal to me!

[Guest]

Really ?

I think that is seriously stupid myself. To bring a life into existence with zero consideration on how you might afford to keep it alive is seriously questionable in my opinion.

I personally wouldn't consider having another kid without knowing I had a good chance at covering the costs. Just seems some what considerate to think about that.

[TheGayTent]

Strange just implies abnormal to me!

Edited March 20, 2013 by TheGayTent

[TheGayTent]

Yup unfortunantly grown adults can't be trust to use contraception correctly...

[abdoujaparov]

Yup unfortunantly grown adults can't be trust to use contraception correctly...

[Guest]

So in hindsight do you not think that is what you should of done or is it ok to do things you can't afford and expect others pick up the tab...

Its one thing to lose your job and end up in a position where you need help... But to me its quite another to knowingly just say fuck it, someone else can pay for my family's existence full stop...

[Guest]

If you are on about my opinion... yes and no...

Some people say that to people who lost their jobs or can't find work which I think is stupid.

I only say it to people who have had x number of children knowing full well they could never meet their needs.

[Guest]

What is your point ?

[abdoujaparov]

But the vast majority clearly are...

[Guest]

I said you was being irresponsible by not giving it any thought whatsoever.... Its some what selfish and self centered

I wouldn't of had a kid in your situation.... In fact I didn't... I didn't have a kid until I felt I had its arse by and large covered.

But hey our system allows you to do it so you are good to go. Why you bothered so much about what other people think ?

[kaosmark2]

Society should be responsible for ensuring that all kids are fed, educated, cared for, etc.

If we as a society go "fuck it, leave that to the parents, they're their responsibility", then we, as a society, are fucked.

[Guest]

So you it as a basic right for you to have as many children as you want and have the state pick up the tab. No responsibility rests on your shoulders at all ?

I think is irresponsible myself but hey ho. Each to their own.

[feral chile]

So in hindsight do you not think that is what you should of done or is it ok to do things you can't afford and expect others pick up the tab...

Its one thing to lose your job and end up in a position where you need help... But to me its quite another to knowingly just say fuck it, someone else can pay for my family's existence full stop...

Edited March 20, 2013 by feral chile

[kaosmark2]

well why do you want child benefit then? Do you expect the state to pick up the tab? Or are you saying you don't need it and are just grabbing it anyway?

Do you think the state should pick up the tab for your childcare, your child's education, medical bills etc.? or should only people who can pay for everything the state would provide be allowed to have children?

Where do you draw the line? What does 'afford a child' actually mean?

[abdoujaparov]

Oh dont be an idiot... I said people can't be trusted to use it properly. Nothing more or less.

[feral chile]

Well that was calculated into his cost estimates, along with his holidays, when he was working out whether he could 'afford' a child.

[feral chile]

Yup... Its what we pay taxes for...

[feral chile]

Its a good question....

I think if you get to the point where you are struggling to put food on the table then you are there...