Some news...

[t8yman]

20 week scan is brilliant, and I'm sure the scans are much more hidef than they were when we had ours.

On the "no pain relief" thing, all respect to you. But don't feel pressured to do it, and don't hesitate to take whatever they offer you if you change your mind when labour comes around. I always said to my missus - have whatever they offer you! Labour is wildly different for every new mum, some are in and out in a couple of hours, others can go for days. I always said to my missus that I have never ever wanted to see her suffer/in pain, and I didn't make an exception for childbirth. It was obviously her decision which route she took, but as soon as that epidural went in her spine she took a massive sigh of relief, and even slept for a few hours mid-labour. The final push is never gonna be pleasant in my experience, but the route to it doesn't have to be hell!

The entenox (sp?) was ace, I was all over it every time the midwife left the room!

And that rush when you clap eyes on the little scamp for the first time never leaves you. I blubbed like a good un, mainly for meeting my offspring for the first time, but also from relief that the missus was through the worst of it.

[Katster]

I feel I have to at least attempt it without any pain relief, how long that lasts depends on how I do. I've seen a few videos of women in birthing pools and that way definitely looks the most relaxed and peaceful. I wasn't keen on the idea at first but that was before I was keen on anything baby related ha.

I went to yet another sober party last night, I like it. It's been nice discovering how much fun I can have without having to suffer the day after. Bloody ell what happened to me?

The real test will be my first ever sober festival in a few weeks time...

[Katster]

Does anyone have any experience of reusable nappies? One of my major concerns with child rearing is nappies nappies everywhere

[feral chile]

Does anyone have any experience of reusable nappies? One of my major concerns with child rearing is nappies nappies everywhere

Not by modern standards - I'm old!

We used to use terry nappies right at the start, disposable nappies weren't much cop then. The one problem with them was that in those days, you had nothing to keep the urine away from the skin, and it was difficult to prevent nappy rash and sore bums. They also used to leak all over the place. Plastic pants over the top only exacerbated the skin problems.

Disposing of solids wasn't very pleasant, neither were nappy buckets with nappies soaking in sterilising solution. But it was very satisfying seeing a line full of snowy white nappies drying on your line

[Katster]

Yeah I'm happy to accept whatever they say I need/should have. They know better than me! Plus I'm not intent on having it any certain way - I just want it out and healthy

I believe things have improved with reusable nappies, I'm definitely going to try them anyway.

[feral chile]

You're probably going to need disposables too, for when you need to save time, or away from home.

The main thing is to let yourself be flexible, and don't guilt trip yourself if you change your mind.

Whatever feels less stressful is the right option for you, regardless of ideology or well meaning advice.

[bunique]

They don't always know better than you.

There is an enormous market for reusables out there - maybe start with your local Real Nappy Network - http://www.tameside.gov.uk/nappies is one, most local authorities have links on their webpages and some offer vouchers or free samples

[bunique]

And although the big Baby Shows are a positively vomit inducing commercial hell, they can be a good opportunity to get hands on with some reusables. I always liked the look of bumgenius as they were all-in-ones, and we used them on a handful of occasions. Loads out there though!

Whichever nappies you choose, I can heartily recommend Cheeky Wipes - reusable baby wipes. Our set is still going strong 3 years later.

And the thing I recommend to pregnant friends over anything else is a stretchy wrap sling - a Moby or similar. Worth it's weight in gold (and being able to eat a hot meal occasionally).

Edited May 4, 2014 by bunique

[feral chile]

They don't always know better than you.

There is an enormous market for reusables out there - maybe start with your local Real Nappy Network - http://www.tameside.gov.uk/nappies is one, most local authorities have links on their webpages and some offer vouchers or free samples

Nobody knows better than you. By all means, get as many varying ideas as possible, but whatever feels right for you, is the right option.

As long as you and the baby are safe and happy, there aren't really any 'shoulds' or best practices.

Edited May 4, 2014 by feral chile

[bunique]

There are, though, and lots of hospitals don't follow them. A healthy baby shouldn't be consolation for a shit birth. Go in well informed and well armed Katster and you'll be dandy (my labour was brilliant and I was home 8 hours later, but still!)

Edited May 4, 2014 by bunique

[feral chile]

Yes, I wasn't talking about hospital procedures, more childraising practices, which since my childbearing years spanned 13 years, meant I saw fads come and go, and back again.

(feed on demand, stick to a routine, pick up your baby when it cries, let your baby cry so it doesn't get reinforced for crying, put them down for an afternoon nap, make sure they're tired when you put them down for the night by keeping them awake all day, etc. etc).

Even down to what you clean their bums with - I was first taught to use plain water and cotton wool, then baby lotion and cotton wool. Use talc/don't use talc etc.

Edited May 4, 2014 by feral chile

[Katster]

I am a bit sick of advice already, but I understand that people mean well. We will figure out as we go along just like everyone else I guess. What I meant about them knowing best Bunique was in terms of if things don't go according to plan - however they get it out is fine by me as long as it gets here

I will buy some disposable nappies for days out etc (festivals!!) but hoping to use reusable ones in the main and yes already looked at those reusable wipes which look fab. They look kind of decent for dusting with afterwards too lol.

[Katster]

Yes he's certainly hoping to be with me. He'd be gutted if he missed it. He's been fab so far

[bunique]

Yep, we use them for everything - cleaning the telly, dusting (rarely...). Seem expensive at first but worth it!

[bunique]

They don't do it here because the outcomes for babies and mothers of inductions are often not great (edit: the research on it is mixed though but purely anecdotal I can't count many friends who had positive inductions and certainly not before 40 weeks+)

Edited May 5, 2014 by bunique

[bunique]

Sorry for derailing your lovely thread Kat! If you read the first couple of chapters of the Hypnobirthing book you'll see why I'm a bit militant about women being in control of their labours. Modern medicine is awesome, but so is the human body

[Katster]

It can be no less patronising etc than the stuff we have found so far. We have been lent 2 copies of what to expect when you're expecting which we have both found very useful at times (I keep one copy at work ha). But, generally we have been figuring stuff out between us based on different things we have read.

It's difficult to get away from generalisations and stereotyping but we have both reassured each other at different times that we will do things our way. I have had people tell me I can't express (?!), that my partner isn't important (?!), that I shouldn't be doing all the exercise I'm still doing, that I both should and shouldn't still be taking folic acid, rarrrrrrr! We actually seem the most relaxed about it all and I worry then that we are being naive and that others having been through it know better than us. But then like you say, nobody has been through our particular situation as every child is different as is every person.

I have bought him the book (it was only £2.81). He will soon let me know if its crap.

Yesterday we bought our pram and load of other goodies (second hand from a guy from work - he really has given me the greatest bargain ever). It's all out in the living room at the moment while we figure it all out - then it's going to the grandparents house until we are ready for using it when we will have to spend another week or do familiarising ourselves with everything again, ha.

I think the most important thing is for us to remember to enjoy it all. We did this for happiness, not to make ourselves stressed and miserable!

It doesn't help that some friends the most stressed parents I've ever known - I told one I plan on taking baby to festivals and was greeted with a look of horror and "how will you sterilise your bottles?"

[Katster]

Sorry for derailing your lovely thread Kat! If you read the first couple of chapters of the Hypnobirthing book you'll see why I'm a bit militant about women being in control of their labours. Modern medicine is awesome, but so is the human body

It's fine, you haven't. It's nice reading about other people's thoughts and opinions without anyone ramming them down my throat

[Katster]

Thank you Tony

I will try my best and that's all I can do. I've been a good girl so far, I haven't had a drop of alcohol since finding out, haven't smoked and kept myself away from cigarettes, eaten more spinach than I ever thought possible, made a mobile and a dream catcher for the nursery, bought it its first ever book (classic ghost stories) for reading to it in the womb, encouraged dad to play it some guitar and generally just looked after myself as much as possible. We've been to a few parties and I have really enjoyed discovering how much fun a sober me can be and can have.

At this stage we're not sure about another - I had always planned to adopt so we originally agreed to have one of our own then adopt. I'm 34 this year and I know lots of women have babies much older than that but I'm not really sure it's for me. Dunno.

[Katster]

Yeah, I'm hoping to keep my social life as it is - just with a baby now instead of just us. Obviously it won't be going to any crazy heavy nights but these days neither do I!

I will be keeping one weekend per year for a baby/child free festival (probably secret garden party until I get bored) but other than that I am hoping for an addition to our family that likes music and camping just as much as us!

Perhaps I will feel differently once it's here but so far the only annoyance with going to parties avec le bump is people perceiving that it must be so awful for me. It's not, I'm still me and I'm still fun!

Edited May 5, 2014 by Katster

[Katster]

Probably, but in not breast feeding. Well, i am, but i am expressing so Dan can help. I will manage same as other people do - its pretty easy to sterilise bottles and a few days of baby milk wont hurt. It will be 7 months old by its first festival anyway so will be eating some solids. We are doing baby led weaning

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Hello Katster. Happy to hear that all is going well. There's a short article here which may be of interest. Or possibly not. Not sure.

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/blog/2010/apr/26/nappy-debate

[Katster]

Interesting. Cheers dude

[Katster]

I will be hooked up to a milking machine whether electronic or human lol.

It's personal choice and I choose to express. I have my reasons

[bunique]

Invest in a double pump if you can stretch to it Kat, much faster, if you can get over the hurdle of feeling like a cow. The noise they make is impressive can dig out some recommendations if any use