Some news...

[bunique]

Our noob did a 4.5 hour stretch last night. I'm savouring every decent run of sleep knowing it may be our last!

[Katster]

I feel like I should spoiler it so as not to ruin your good mood... But there is a massive sleep regression at 4 months as they suddenly take a huge developmental leap. It's often why people end up introducing solids that bit early because they assume baby is hungry - they're not necessarily (though will often eat more often to power through all the changes) but it can seem like it. I will cross my fingers you avoid it altogether or you find it relatively short and painless!

She's already sleeping less in the day. And don't worry, I'm forever researching what might be coming next lol. Positive people have told me it gets different - as one challenge disappears another one appears. It's always going to be 'hard' as a parent but it's also always going to be 'fun'. It depends on your own attitude really. If she needs a nappy change during the night it can take up to two hours for her to nod back off again but she just chatters to herself in her Moses basket whilst holding, playing with, licking and sucking my hand lol. Me and dad are both big sleepers so chances are she will continue. But, if not, I will have to accept and adjust. No buggy.

[Katster]

Biggy lol not buggy. Though on the subject, she's been in her pram all of three times so far. I much prefer carrying/baby wearing even if she does weigh over a stone now!

[bunique]

We were the same. She started refusing the sling at around 18 months and we switched to a pushchair, but she's been wrapped as recently as November on my back. They're definitely worth their weight!

[Katster]

I don't really manage to wear her in the house like I have seen women do, I can't just crack on with jobs cos she wakes up. But, when she starts fighting sleep it's an alternative taking her for a walk to dancing in the kitchen lol. She loves Alt J to fall asleep to but any music seems to work. I actually use her nap times to chill myself then when she's awake she will occupy herself in bouncer or on playmat for about twenty minutes so I do a job then play with her for ten minutes then rotate and repeat ha. I was clearing some old clothes out today and I just plonked her in the middle of the bed and spread the clothes around her so she could feel and as long as I talk to her while washing the pots she'll usually let me get a sink full done before she starts shouting for some attention. I'm lucky that she sleeps at night for now though, I know this. I'm still breastfeeding too. 15 weeks and counting!

[bunique]

That's brill - I think the stats are something like less than 10% exclusively bf at 20 weeks. We're still trying to find our feet with it - amazing how different two kids can be! My first never caused a single issue with feeding in over 2 years. This one seems to be working her way through the list! Fingers crossed by Wednesday when she's 2 weeks we'll be over the worst of it. We're still in the sleep all the time mode, which is rather lovely, with feeds every 3 hours round the clock, so can't complain about that!

[Katster]

Only 1% make it to six months I know that much. 1% that's mad. There needs to be more support available or it needs to be communicated more effectively...I was thrown in a small hectic room at 38 weeks pregnant and bombarded with info from a group of extremist breastfeeders. I came away thinking I never wanted to be like all but one of them. It's a sensitive subject.

My super baby struck again last night, straight back to sleep after both night feeds and this morning woke up at 6am...I thought, I'll just see what she does if I leave her...little star went back to sleep until 7.20am. Result!

[bunique]

I think its more convenient than anything and saves a fortune not having to spend money on formula

That's our motivation too! But I will be hamming up the health benefits in my complaint letter to our local surgery, whose only advice when I approached them in tears and pain after 6 days was to come back in a week... We saw a private lactation consultant instead later that day and things have improved ever since. If I'd followed GP's advice we'd have stopped by now!

[feral chile]

That's our motivation too! But I will be hamming up the health benefits in my complaint letter to our local surgery, whose only advice when I approached them in tears and pain after 6 days was to come back in a week... We saw a private lactation consultant instead later that day and things have improved ever since. If I'd followed GP's advice we'd have stopped by now!

my daughter went through this, and had to give up - I wasn't able to help, back in my day there used to be a spray that protected you while you healed, but it's not on the market now, so presumably was found not to be safe - it's a real shame, because it was wonderful stuff.

Edited January 25, 2015 by feral chile

[bunique]

That is really poor. Our GP is wonderful... The midwifes are unfortunately terrible.

Midwives here were supportive but can't refer to specialists - only GP can because it now comes out of their budget! It's a huge practice and some GPs are excellent but unfortunately not up to speed on breastfeeding issues.

[Katster]

my daughter went through this, and had to give up - I wasn't able to help, back in my day there used to be a spray that protected you while you healed, but it's not on the market now, so presumably was found not to be safe - it's a real shame, because it was wonderful stuff.

Lansinoh saved me. If it wasn't for that stuff I don't think I'd have made it beyond three days...

[Katster]

Surprised its as low as 1%....

Our group of friends all largely made it past six months. A couple didn't. I suppose we had a little informal support group going on. None of us think there is much wrong with formula though....

I think the benefits of breastfeeding in a first world country need to be kept in check. I have little time for the extremist views. Its no doubt "best" but we are talking small margins really.

I think its more convenient than anything and saves a fortune not having to spend money on formula

From what I've read it's pretty large margins. But, it's not for me to comment on what other women do with their babas and their tits and it's HARD so there's no shame in being unable to continue or even try in the first place. As I say I could have very easily given up on day three of I wasn't such a stubborn and determined sod lol.

[Katster]

How do you know what I'm reading?!

[bunique]

Those pesky extremists over at the Department of Health

[gary1979666]

My wife had to give up after 2 weeks, as she was in agony with it and there was very poor support to help her make it work - she went to BF councilors, nurses, midwives and ended up with contradicting advice. The first week was in the hospital after birth, as James had jaundice, so needed feeding up - some midwives were really helpful, others were just rude. It tore my wife up to stop, but there was no way forward with it.

We still believe breast is best, but know some friends who formula feed and are quite militant anti-bf, which I really don;t get.

[bunique]

Not really - for the DoH it's about cost. They consider bf to be a cost saving in terms of prevention for baby and mother (due to reduced rates of breast cancer - that's not dependent on us being a wealthy country). For me, breastfeeding is the biological norm and just makes sense to be the first port of call to feed a baby - we're just fortunate to live in an era where there are adequate substitutes.

[bunique]

What is most frustrating about the DoH's position is that they don't then put their money where their mouth is and invest in high quality breastfeeding support.

[Katster]

Your wife should be proud of the two weeks she achieved. Something like half of all mothers who begin with breastfeeding don't continue beyond the first week. This is the stuff I'm talking about. It's really really hard and there should be much more support available to make it easier. When you've got scabs on your nipples which are ripped off every couple of hours (if you're lucky!) Plus the flood of hormones it's not surprising most women can't continue.

[Katster]

It takes at least six weeks to become 'established' at breastfeeding. Even after that it's not all plain sailing but it's definitely easier. It took us to 7.5 weeks for both of us to relax about feeding and have confidence in each other.

[midnight]

Would it pain you to hear that Willow has been sleeping from 7.30pm-6.30am since she was about 8 weeks old?? She wakes for feeds but goes straight back down afterwards. I'm so lucky I know! She has about four naps in the day still too and they can last up to two hours each!

No, that doesn't pain me, I'm not so bitter and twisted that I cannot take pleasure in other people's good fortune- not yet, anyway, give me time! (I've just read the page 3 exchange in the discussions thread, I think I'm getting there!)

Beautiful baby picture, Bunique! Not just the blanket, the baby too. And she doesn't even look squashed or anything, amazing.

On the topic of breastfeeding, yes, I'm a bit surprised that only 1% do the long-term feeding, for it seems quite common around here. But some of the advice I got was indeed hilarious (with hindsight).

I had no milk coming in at all (dehydrated after the bloodloss? that's my theory anyway) for the first 4 days. I was still in hospital, and every day I told the passing midwives/consultants that there was no milk. They just said persevere, it will come. Of course, by day 4 I had a dehydrated and very unhappy baby. They weighed him and were shocked about how much weight he'd lost since birth. I was told that they could not discharge us as planned, because of the weight loss. I was livid. I was then told to feed him every 2 hours (waking him when necessary), and to top up with some formula. Which I did throughout the whole night. Without help from anyone. I was still knackered from the c-section and barely able to move, despite pain killers. Thirsty baby had been crying almost all day, of course. I'd also been told that I would need more rest in order for the milk to come in, which somehow did not tally with me feeding him with top ups every 2 hours through the night, but then I pointed that out, the surely miwife simply told me, "what do you not want to breastfeed"!? Ermmm....

Anyway, I made it through that night somehow, and in the morning sonny boy peed all over the miwife who came to weigh him, so I must have got enough liquid into him somehow. We were discharged, and then I was visited at home by a local midwife who wanted to weigh him. She too was very upset about him being so much lighter than his birth weight, he also was a bit jaundiced, but lively and alert and producing copious amounts of poo and pee. I argued that if there is so much coming out, surely plenty must have gone in? I was revisited and revisited, and the 3rd midwife who came along sat me down and told me that I definitely had to feed every 2 hours, pump off in-between, and rest more. At which point I completely glazed over and thought: This is insane. It just isn't doable. Why is she saying this? I mean, he fed for about 20 mins, then I needed to hold him upright for another 10-20 mins (burp, reflux), then he usually did a massive poo that needed seeing too. So the whole thing took nearly an hour. Afterwards I should have been pumping off. Then, exacly was I meant to rest, let alone sleep?

Ah yes, and it did hurt like hell in the beginning. Happy days!! Once it was established, it worked a treat and was incredibly convenient. But I guess with the support available, many women never get to that stage. What I found most frustrating was that no one seemed to be listening to me. It was as if they'd learned a set of rules by heart and quoted them, whether they fitted the question/situation or not.

Edited January 28, 2015 by midnight

[Katster]

I had fabulous support but it sounds like my experience might not be the 'norm'. It also helped that Dan was so good too.

In an attempt to help others I have put myself forward as a breastfeeding peer support volunteer for the NHS

[bunique]

Jesus midnight! I'm amazed you came through all that and kept feeding! Puts my woes into context. 2 weeks old today and it's getting better but still not great - no idea how you're supposed to heal cracks when the baby feeds every few hours!

[Katster]

Rub boobie milk on the cracks after feeding and try to air them as much as possible. Have you got some Lansinoh? It's about £10 a tube but worth it!

[bunique]

Been doing that since day 1 - honestly, I have pulled every trick out of my feeding arsenal with this one! Tried Lansinoh yesterday but seemed to make things worse so back to coconut oil today which does the same job really and going to try and get hold of some Jelonet gauze for the worst bits and so I can actually put a top on! One side is soooo close to healing up. The other is going to be a long work in progress. It's amazing how much feeding problems inhibit your ability to even leave the house!

[Katster]

Warm flannel. Feed from one side to give the other side a bit more of a rest. Feed in the bath. Paracetamol.