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Acid_Haze

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Glastonbury 2016 to sell so badly that it takes Michael Eavis five years before he dares make a risky headline booking again. Yay!

Pj Harvey putting on the most incredible and unexpected show that the eavii decide to have a punt on hard working and talented British acts in a headline slot.

Yay!

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Misses the point. Headline acts get the headline slot, and PJ Harvey isn't even CLOSE to being a headliner. You could take a punt on her as a sub at Glasto I think because that slot isn't exactly sacred at that particular festival. But as a headliner? Not a chance in hell.

I'd absolutely love to see Crystal Fighters to headline. They can't and won't though.

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Misses the point. Headline acts get the headline slot, and PJ Harvey isn't even CLOSE to being a headliner. You could take a punt on her as a sub at Glasto I think because that slot isn't exactly sacred at that particular festival. But as a headliner? Not a chance in hell.

I'd absolutely love to see Crystal Fighters to headline. They can't and won't though.

the point i was making was if there are no other acts of quality kicking around, then have a punt on someone unexpected who'd wow the crowd.

I'm playing devil's advocate as you know, but I still reckon she'd absolutely slay it

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As readers will know I am always wrong with predictions so:

Friday - Take That

Saturday - One Direction

Sunday -Taylor Swift

I want to be wrong, VERY VERY VERY wrong

I like that.

It would mean that the Other Stage would have to be - according to the laws of physics, to balance it out in a matter = dark matter kinda way to stop the cosmos imploding

Other:

FRIDAY - Bjork, Lykke Li, Grandaddy (Sophtware Slump in full), Jon Hopkins

Flying Lotus at SE Corner afterwards.

SATURDAY - Radiohead, Nick Cave, Atoms For Peace (cheeky tease for the surprise headliner).

Aphex Twin at SE Corner afterwards.

Sunday - Neil Young, Nick Cave, Portishead (they sorted out the running order themselves out of mutual respect and manners).

Bowie DJ Set at SE Corner afterwards.

Monday morning Swift, in a rare fit of drug induced spontaneity, climbs inside a giant pyre of a wicker man just before it's set aflame.

Numerous Swift followers, in a blind panic, kick into action with their only known defence of the insipid 'pure pop' 'princess':

"I know how to make them stop guys! Ready? Whenever any criticism is thrown Swifty's way, respond with a hashtag first...YOU MUST SAY 'HASHTAG OUT LOUD TOO' and a variation on the following:

"*Protagonist(s)* gonna hate hate hate hate...", etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

That'll show 'em!!!! We'll be JUST like the Zionist Suicide Squad!"

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Misses the point. Headline acts get the headline slot, and PJ Harvey isn't even CLOSE to being a headliner. You could take a punt on her as a sub at Glasto I think because that slot isn't exactly sacred at that particular festival. But as a headliner? Not a chance in hell.

I'd absolutely love to see Crystal Fighters to headline. They can't and won't though.

crystal castles is a terrible comparison to make though

PJ harvey has a long history with the festival, last time she played was to a huge pyramid crowd. She's won that crappy music award etc. Undoubtedly the most credible and critically acclaimed british female artist around at the moment

she wont headline like, but she's a more credible suggestion than crystal castles, who are just a band you like.

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crystal castles is a terrible comparison to make though

PJ harvey has a long history with the festival, last time she played was to a huge pyramid crowd. She's won that crappy music award etc. Undoubtedly the most credible and critically acclaimed british female artist around at the moment

she wont headline like, but she's a more credible suggestion than crystal castles, who are just a band you like.

Nobody mentioned Crystal Castles.

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Presumably Russy forgot about Kate Bush with his "Undoubtedly the most credible and critically acclaimed british female artist around at the moment"

She did a residency, Stu...she isn't still producing new challenging work in different and new ways at a fucking high standard.

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