NFR NFC >>>>>>2015

[A Guy Called Matt]

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
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5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

[deebeedoobee]

She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.

[A Guy Called Matt]

[carlosj]

It's like being at a festival with Tommy Cooper :-)

[mr gumby]

It's like being at a festival with Tommy Cooper :-)

Right!! From now on I'm going to call mattyc 'mini cooper'!

[Mr Splodge]

Just like that

[deebeedoobee]

It's getting very confusing with all these blue sky avitars!

it do my head in it do

[lucyginger]

I am confused and amused!

[mr gumby]

It's getting very confusing with all these blue sky avitars!

it do my head in it do

There doo be a lot doont they?

Might change mine again soon, fancy something more personal like!

[guypjfreak]

wots yellow and sleeps alone

i tell ya tomo

but my wifes not happy cos its a shit joke but i like it ...

[mr gumby]

Morning all!

Well, this is annoying. I just read the 'best artists who've never played' thread, and decided to post my choice. Had a quick look at the history pages of the GF site to check I was right that they hadn't played. Hundreds of bands / singers, thousands of potential ear worms, and what have I now got stuck in my head? 'Too good to be forgotten' by fucking Amazulu!

[A Guy Called Matt]

Morning all!

Well, this is annoying. I just read the 'best artists who've never played' thread, and decided to post my choice. Had a quick look at the history pages of the GF site to check I was right that they hadn't played. Hundreds of bands / singers, thousands of potential ear worms, and what have I now got stuck in my head? 'Too good to be forgotten' by fucking Amazulu!

LMAO

[A Guy Called Matt]

Glass Bottle

Bottle Glass

[A Guy Called Matt]

I gave up sexual innuendo for Lent.

It was pretty hard.

[A Guy Called Matt]

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.

I woke this morning with a huge correction.

[A Guy Called Matt]

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.

"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet. Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".

Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

[mr gumby]

How does Moses make tea?

Hebrews it!

[cokebabies92]

I've invented a machine which measures the quality of these jokes...

I call it a sighsmograph.

[A Guy Called Matt]

I've invented a machine which measures the quality of these jokes...

I call it a sighsmograph.

How did this one rate?

[cokebabies92]

How did this one rate?

Obviously 10/10sighs, cause that's how eye roll.

[A Guy Called Matt]

Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman walk into a bar.

Englishman says to the other 2... "Is this some kind of joke?"

[guypjfreak]

wots yellow and sleeps alone

i tell ya tomo

but my wifes not happy cos its a shit joke but i like it ...

yoko ono

lolololol bad ah

[stuartbert two hats]

Trudy Glen!

Robin Hood, Robin Hood, Riding Trudy Glen

I'll get my coat.

I thought it was Maid Marion?

[A Guy Called Matt]

I thought it was Maid Marion?

yes but for the joke

Robin Hood, Robin Hood, Riding Maid Marion

Does not work

[stuartbert two hats]

yes but for the joke

Robin Hood, Robin Hood, Riding Maid Marion

Does not work

I suppose deliberately not getting jokes is one of those things that doesn't really translate on-line.