NFR NFC >>>>>>2015

[mr gumby]

What's a GILF?

When I was about 11/12 years old is when I saw Walkabout, and my parents were in the room!! Not sure who was more embarrassed, me or my Dad.

GILF means 'granny I'd like to f@#k', like milf but older.

I suspect you were embarrassed, your dad was probably too busy making sure his newspaper was covering his lap enough!

[A Guy Called Matt]

GILF means 'granny I'd like to f@#k', like milf but older.

I suspect you were embarrassed, your dad was probably too busy making sure his newspaper was covering his lap enough!

We were so poor we could not afford newspapers.

MILF

GILF

TILF

WILF

FILF

[Mr Splodge]

Hello!!

I've just started the last series of Dexter. I know I'm a bit late to the party! I'm in hospital Thursday for a little procedure which requires lots of rest afterwards, so plan to work my way through the series to the end! Hospital visits, and the recovery, are a great chance for catching up on tv/reading etc!!

I might even get a couple of films in

Hope all goes well, will be thinking of you.

[A Guy Called Matt]

NFR

NFC

NFTS

[Perks]

Extracts from letters written by housing tenants:

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..

20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

I've just put my flat up for rent, I better not get any of those as complaints.....

[Mr Splodge]

Just had a thought..... "Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?"

[mr gumby]

Just had a thought..... "Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?"

Most rain isn't 40 Celsius. Best suggestion I can think of.

[mr gumby]

Why don't zombies eat other zombies?

[lucyginger]

Hope all goes well, will be thinking of you.

Thanks Simon xx

[lucyginger]

Just had a thought..... "Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?"

That's one to ponder when you can't sleep!

[A Guy Called Matt]

Why don't zombies eat other zombies?

Because they only eat warm flesh

[A Guy Called Matt]

Drooling bump

[H.M.V]

This TS stuff is harshing my sitting on the grass with the sun on my skin buzz! Can someone please make it stop?

[Woffy]

Its big old games of soggy biscuit and sword fights in the Swift thread. Jeeeeez...

[Woffy]

This TS stuff is harshing my sitting on the grass with the sun on my skin buzz! Can someone please make it stop?

Is it making your shit itch?

[H.M.V]

Is it making your shit itch?

Didn't think my shit could itch but more my arse?

[A Guy Called Matt]

After all the over the top excitement I thought I had better try again so listened to some more TS.

OMFGG

What drivel.

[Woffy]

That's how grim this news is, inducing your own shit to unscratchably itch.

[Woffy]

It's like a teen-sexuality-exploratory-group-w*nk-fest in that thread.

Each to their own.

[A Guy Called Matt]

It's like a teen-sexuality-exploratory-group-w*nk-fest in that thread.

Each to their own.

LOLasm

and I get my first down vote in months for the word 'not'.

Edited January 27, 2015 by mattyc1965

[mr gumby]

LOLasm

and I get my first down vote in months for the word 'not'.

Just upvoted the above to balance it out. Besides, you were just being honest (and by honest I mean right!).

[A Guy Called Matt]

Just upvoted the above to balance it out. Besides, you were just being honest (and by honest I mean right!).

I am out of upvotes for today - and I wanted to give you one and Woffy one for the LOLasm post.

Thanks for my balance vote.

[mr gumby]

This TS stuff is harshing my sitting on the grass with the sun on my skin buzz! Can someone please make it stop?

Okay, for starters they're talking about her headlining, so the sun will have gone down if that does happen. Second, there are loads of other stages, we'll find something decent elsewhere and have a fine old time while all the twats are dancing (ironically or sincerely) to TS. More space for us!

[Mr Splodge]

I am out of upvotes for today - and I wanted to give you one and Woffy one for the LOLasm post.

Thanks for my balance vote.

Finbar in there

[Mr Splodge]

Off to the TS thread for a sneaky peek.