Would Kanye at Glastonbury work?

[neil999]

Loved dogs too. Hard to fault the man really.

keen painter as well so he had an artistic side!

[scrippit]

That's enough Bono jokes.

[the wonderwhy]

Come on guys, Himmler was definitely worse than Hitler.

[The Nal]

Come on guys, Himmler was definitely worse than Hitler.

Nah he really wasn't. The Little Guy is Top Trump on all counts. Hes the Garbage Pail Kids Adam Bomb of Nazis.

[klipper]

For me, it's:

1. James Corden

2. Richard Hammond

3. Vernon Kaye

4. Matt42

5. Hitler

Matt42 I think there's some agreement that you take 4th place, unlucky on missing out on the medals mate.

[ChrisTGA]

1. Kanye

2. Bono

3. Liam Gallagher

4. Matt42

5. Noel Gallagher

Seems about right?

Big oasis fan?

[klipper]

Big oasis fan?

Hmmm...

[dentalplan]

1. Guitarist from Bombay Bicycle Club
2. Main guy from Bombay Bicycle Club
3. Bassist from Bombay Bicycle Club
4. Matt42
5. Drummer from Bombay Bicycle Club

[Gnomicide]

1. Farage (rhymes with garage)

2. Kanye

3. My old French teacher (32 years in and he still makes the cut)

4. That bloke from The Script

5. Anyone who juggles at a festival who is not on a stage

[eFestivals]

1. Farage (rhymes with garage)

2. Kanye

3. My old French teacher (32 years in and he still makes the cut)

4. That bloke from The Script

5. Anyone who juggles at a festival who is not on a stage

no Matt42?

[kalifire]

1. Piers Morgan

2. Katie Hopkins

3. Michael McIntyre

4. Matt42

5. ISIS

[Gnomicide]

no Matt42?

Can he juggle?

[eFestivals]

Can he juggle?

Not sure.

But I reckon he might wear a silly hat. Does that count?

[Gnomicide]

Not sure.

But I reckon he might wear a silly hat. Does that count?

That'll do.....

Der de der, d d derrrrr, der der derrrrrrr.

Up 2 places to number 4 it's Matt42 with My c**tish Juggling Hat.

[FuzzyDunlop]

For me, it's:

1. James Corden

2. Richard Hammond

3. Vernon Kaye

4. Matt42

5. Hitler

Hammond

Miranda Hart

Any twat from The big bang theory / How I met your mother or any other american "comedy"

James Corden

Any c8nt from a Made in Chelsea / TOWIE or or other such shite

[fatyeti24]

Hammond

Miranda Hart

Any twat from The big bang theory / How I met your mother or any other american "comedy"

James Corden

Any c8nt from a Made in Chelsea / TOWIE or or other such shite

just change channel when they come on the telly.

[Woffy]

First Time Listening to Kanye West (Properly)

Part 1 - The College Dropout

This is going to be a long week.

Ok. A few things first:

I have read no background info., wiki'd nothing and googled nothing about Kanye West about this album...and will stick to this throughout.

I have listened to the album as much as possible during the last 24 hours-ish and no other music (intentionally). Again, i will stick to this throughout.

When I report back - whilst I can write to a passable standard - i'm not doing so trying to some sort of fuckin' music journo' w*nker / cultural commentator...and i'm not gonna re-read what I've written and faff about with correcting the grammar / spelling, etc.

I should also state for the record that i'm 40 years old. This may have some relevance for some of you; who knows.

So, the first thing to mention is that last night my wife over heard unfamiliar music coming from my headphones and asked what the fuck i was listening to and what i was doing.

When i told her she looked at me like i'm a idiot (nothing unusual there) and then said, "Really? Oh. Which album are you starting with? The College Dropout?! Oh. That's decent. I like that".

Stunned. I'd learnt something and i'd barely started.

NB: She is 14 years younger than me. So either 'Well played Woffy" or "you dirty bastard, Woffy!".

Meh.

Whatevs.

Meh-whevs.

Or something.

To the important stuff:

Right up front - it's not really the sort of rap / hip hop i'd normally listen to / like.

That said, i still believe i can complete this objectively. And honestly and analytically.

I mean, i think Jose Mourinho is a complete c***, but i can appreciate he's a shit-hot football manager / coach.

The debut album is pretty fucking slick. It'd be hard to deny his production chops in any way whatsoever. NB: I know so much that he produced it.

There's some innovation and invention there, for sure.

He kinda flirts a knowingly commercial, pop even, line. He's not Illmatic era Nas but he's not all fuckin' Puff Daddy Guff.

And i stress, knowingly.

The bloke has had a very clear vision of what he wanted to do and executed it pretty much flawlessly, interms of appearing to express what was going on in his head and getting it down on record.

Lyrically? Usual themes you'd expect from the genre, but, yeah, ok...fair play for getting some pseudo-gansta themes into what are essentially slick popraphiphop tunes.

The fucker KNEW this stuff would chart...and chart high.

BY THE WAY - I'm only ASSUMING this record charted high.

And that goes foe both in the US (charted very high i'd guess) and also in the UK...'cos there are tunes i 'recognise' but don't 'know' here.

So to some degree his music has managed to seep into my consciousness despite my personal cultural like and reference points.

The tunes themselves [i'm not dissecting the lot]...

...and i'm probably not alone in getting irritated with interludes between tracks...on ANY album. But hip hop does have an obsession with this for reasons that baffle me and need to be explained by someone cleverer than me.

Personal dislikes: kids singing and sing-songy hip hop. Just putting that out there.

Although I do like We Don't Care and it works 'cos of the subject matter. And i was surprised that it was more 'upbeat' than i anticipated.

Is he a good rapper though? Really? He is...in 'spurts'. And i mean that word quite specifically. It's not in crazypenguin apostrophes. I prefer him spitting out a decent flow of lyrics at speed and don't know why he doesn't more often. Surely not a fuckin' confidence issue.

Oddly i'd also prefer more fucking swearing.

All Falls Down is now probably "See Fig. 1" in "Hip Hop Chart Success / Underground Crossover For Dummies".

Controversially, i'd imagine, Jesus Walks is just fucking ruined by the male backing refrain. No, no, no. Completely overshadows the lyrical flows / exchanges, weird reedy little riff and the looped (snare?) drum rolls. Soz. The moments when it desists and female gospel vocal intervenes saves it.

Never let me Down is so polished i can see myself in it. But, please, JAY-Z...fuuuuuck. Stop him appearing on other people records, singing about himself and completely out of context from the rest of the song and seemingly always. on. about. fucking. cristal. Go away.

Pretty fuckin' good tune though. No denying.

Get Em High - darker, better, repetitive, dirtier. Nice.

Then via some funk and bloody Ludacris it all went a bit Hip Hop Abbey Road b-side for me...

...until a great Two Word and Through the Wire...Family Business largely just passed me by each time and irritated a bit and lost it's way.

Last Call completed the job pretty fucking well, just about got away with itself via it's own sleazy audacity.

As a closing track, if it could have had sex with itself before or over anyone else in the entire world, the listener included, it probably would. From behind. Whilst showing off ti its mates. Gleefully.

So, yeah, again: slick.

Is it a 'great record'? Not for me personally.

Can I understand and appreciate that it is for others? Absolutely.

Is it inventive? Not especially. Rather it's a masterclass in knowing your audience (and i'll let others judge them and who they are, etc, etc, ad nausea, ad infinitum) and giving them a slick, polished version of EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT.

Did it make me 'think'? Not me, but depending on your cultural / world / musical outlook many people could take many different things from it. Intellect could also come into it, but that's it's own thesis right there.

For me, as an album it's not a triumph...but it's certainly a unabashed success.

If you work at a place like mine, Kanye would be exactly the kind of annoying, successful fucker that gets promoted and hated equally successfully; a definition of glossy work/corporate praxis.

The album is a musical motivational poster:

Mission > Vision > Application > Success > Review > Learn > Improve...repeat.

Footnote: Are all his albums this fucking long?

I have not reread this to see how much of a c*** i sound. Whether a coherent c*** or otherwise.

Edit: Did edit a couple of bits i just noticed as they made no sense 'cos of a typo.

Edited March 4, 2015 by Woffy

[Amy Lawn]

Very nicely put. I get the feeling from that review that you're going to be really into My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, a bit more into Late Registration than this, and not get along too well with Graduation or 808s.

[FloorFiller]

i think you'll like what's to come a lot more judging by your criticisms. his albums get a LOT less pseudo-gangsta etc as they go, and the interludes are completely gone after the next album (the College Dropout interludes are definitely the worst - far too many of them)

Late Registration is just as long i believe (but flows much better imo) - as is My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (but this time not filled with interludes - all fantastic songs). i like The College Dropout but it's definitely not one of my favourites. i don't find myself going back to it too often as it's clearly Kanye somewhat pandering to what is expected from hip-hop artists (all the weed smoking anthems etc). he comes into his own much more on Late Registration and what follows

[Tuna]

Late Registration next then Woffy? Enjoy! It's my favourite!

[Bradders]

Yeah I pretty much agree with the College Dropout review and my opinions of his other albums are exactly as described by getoffamylawn.

Edited March 4, 2015 by Bradders

[FuzzyDunlop]

just change channel when they come on the telly.

I do, but I still can't stand them

[Andeeroo]

I remember getting College Dropout the week it came out. Absolutely loved that album for years and maintained it was one of my all time favourite albums, until recently when I listened to it all the way through for the first time in a long time and it just seemed so generic and frivolous.

I liked Late Registration but wasn't overwhelmed by it at the time, but again, changing my mind after a recent listen, I now really like it and probably more than CD.

Haven't relistened to anything past that recently, but didn't enjoy Graduation at the time and never even bothered with 808s. MBDTF I seem to have on my iPod but can't recall dedicating any time to it and i've never even attempted Yeezus.

Suppose I have some catching up to do.

[Winslow Leach]

Graduation is a little like series 4 of Buffy. It occupies a weird no-man's-land in terms of his career, it has no real overall flow and it can't figure out what it wants to be, but in hindsight there are some individually brilliant elements.

[FloorFiller]

Graduation is a little like series 4 of Buffy. It occupies a weird no-man's-land in terms of his career, it has no real overall flow and it can't figure out what it wants to be, but in hindsight there are some individually brilliant elements.

i don't listen to Graduation often but every once in a while i'll go back and just listen to it on repeat. for a lot of artists it'd be their best album - Kanye just has a lot of them to compete with! The Glory is also one of my favourite Kanye songs