Bullying

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I was talking to my wife recently about a lad at school who was sort of bullied - most people used to call him by a girls name rather than his boys name because of his effeminacy. Anyway, I decided to see if I could track him down and ask him if he was doing alright in life. Anyway, it only took about 5 minutes to track him down and send him a message. He has responded confirming that he did have a difficult time at school in the first 5 years, but that it got better in the sixth form and in later life. He also confirmed that I never bullied him.

Anyway, to cut a long story short I'm going to meet up with him for a chat and a few drinks in a few weeks time. Quite strange really as we weren't in anyway close during school.

[feral chile]

I was talking to my wife recently about a lad at school who was sort of bullied - most people used to call him by a girls name rather than his boys name because of his effeminacy. Anyway, I decided to see if I could track him down and ask him if he was doing alright in life. Anyway, it only took about 5 minutes to track him down and send him a message. He has responded confirming that he did have a difficult time at school in the first 5 years, but that it got better in the sixth form and in later life. He also confirmed that I never bullied him.

Anyway, to cut a long story short I'm going to meet up with him for a chat and a few drinks in a few weeks time. Quite strange really as we weren't in anyway close during school.

That's a nice story, hope you get on when you meet!

it reminds me of running into an old classmate in a gay club once - he begged me not to tell anyone I'd seen him.

We wouldn't have had any mutual friends, it was long after schooldays and I had suspected he was gay, so I wasn't sure what he was afraid of. Maybe he'd been bullied, and I hadn't noticed

Edited February 3, 2015 by feral chile

[fred quimby]

I was talking to my wife recently about a lad at school who was sort of bullied - most people used to call him by a girls name rather than his boys name because of his effeminacy. Anyway, I decided to see if I could track him down and ask him if he was doing alright in life. Anyway, it only took about 5 minutes to track him down and send him a message. He has responded confirming that he did have a difficult time at school in the first 5 years, but that it got better in the sixth form and in later life. He also confirmed that I never bullied him.

Anyway, to cut a long story short I'm going to meet up with him for a chat and a few drinks in a few weeks time. Quite strange really as we weren't in anyway close during school.

be careful YOaS. Can you not see his ploy, luring you in and then meeting you. You will be reported missing to the police and somewhere in a small room a man will be ticking another name from his list while preparing tea of freshly caught meat.

[feral chile]

be careful YOaS. Can you not see his ploy, luring you in and then meeting you. You will be reported missing to the police and somewhere in a small room a man will be ticking another name from his list while preparing tea of freshly caught meat.

That's mean, but infectious....

(resist urge to invent scenarios based on revenge of schooldays)

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

be careful YOaS. Can you not see his ploy, luring you in and then meeting you. You will be reported missing to the police and somewhere in a small room a man will be ticking another name from his list while preparing tea of freshly caught meat.

Your right. Maybe I'd better go tooled up, just to be on the safe side. lol

[russycarps]

When you first meet him, make sure you put him in a headlock and call him by the girls name. It'll be a good icebreaker.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

When you first meet him, make sure you put him in a headlock and call him by the girls name. It'll be a good icebreaker.

Got you - attack is the best form of defence and all that.

[russycarps]

Got you - attack is the best form of defence and all that.

Yep, it's the only language bullying victims understand.

In all seriousness though, hope you have a good night.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Yep, it's the only language bullying victims understand.

In all seriousness though, hope you have a good night.

I appreciate both your humour and best wishes, thanks russy.

[LondonTom]

"The world of being a girl is so complicated already. There’s so much to understand and so much jealousy flying around. I remember in school that if you didn't have the right pair of shoes or the latest school bag you were automatically cast out. Whereas the boys would walk around in whatever they pleased but seemed to keep the peace a little better. There is always bigger competition between girls."

Not sure about that, plenty of times I saw other lads being bullied for having the wrong trainers and such on. (As I said in the general dicussion, about why uniforms are not the devil incarnate of conforming.)

In my experience I think most of the bullying among boys was about being "gay" regardless if you were or not. (Of coure for this to work, it means those being bullied saw something wrong in being gay to but I guess being bullied over it doesn't help in thinking like that.).

Kind of thankfully most of the bullying I got was more physical side of it, so at least once i fought back a few times they would leave me alone (or at least until they forgot the quiet one, had quite the temper on him when provoked ). Teachers never saw it quite the same though!

[feral chile]

Not sure about that, plenty of times I saw other lads being bullied for having the wrong trainers and such on. (As I said in the general dicussion, about why uniforms are not the devil incarnate of conforming.)

In my experience I think most of the bullying among boys was about being "gay" regardless if you were or not. (Of coure for this to work, it means those being bullied saw something wrong in being gay to but I guess being bullied over it doesn't help in thinking like that.).

Kind of thankfully most of the bullying I got was more physical side of it, so at least once i fought back a few times they would leave me alone (or at least until they forgot the quiet one, had quite the temper on him when provoked ). Teachers never saw it quite the same though!

I wondered if it was an accurate assessment. I think there's a temptation t think men have this male bonding thing going on - but perhaps only if you conform to some kind of masculine paradigm.

When are we going to evolve from our primate origins?

[kaosmark2]

And correcting someone disabled, someone with dyslexia for instance.

Um, dyslexia is difficulty learning. I don't think correcting someone is bullying. I think going "ha, you got that wrong" is. Informing someone that they made a mistake will make it easier for them in future, as opposed to others being less pleasant/more judgemental/twattish regarding it. And of course, if you inform them they keep making a mistake, it might be a mistake that could cost them in a job or something, and is important for them to learn.

[feral chile]

Um, dyslexia is difficulty learning. I don't think correcting someone is bullying. I think going "ha, you got that wrong" is. Informing someone that they made a mistake will make it easier for them in future, as opposed to others being less pleasant/more judgemental/twattish regarding it. And of course, if you inform them they keep making a mistake, it might be a mistake that could cost them in a job or something, and is important for them to learn.

I think ideally you'd have to ask them. I have someone close to me who's dyslexic, and I agree, I do let them know when they're making a mistake, because they're sensitive about it.

But I'd never do it publicly in a way to draw attention to it. And obviously, never to undermine them.

It was just an example to demonstrate why it's not always better t correct someone.

Another example is if someone makes grammatical mistakes etc. If what they're debating makes sense, is it worth correcting them over their grammar?

What if it's something they're sensitive about, and they might think you're attacking them personally?

I do correct my son, however, because I know he's not sensitive about it.

The main thing, I think, is not to persist when you know it upsets someone.

[kaosmark2]

I think ideally you'd have to ask them. I have someone close to me who's dyslexic, and I agree, I do let them know when they're making a mistake, because they're sensitive about it.

But I'd never do it publicly in a way to draw attention to it. And obviously, never to undermine them.

It was just an example to demonstrate why it's not always better t correct someone.

Another example is if someone makes grammatical mistakes etc. If what they're debating makes sense, is it worth correcting them over their grammar?

What if it's something they're sensitive about, and they might think you're attacking them personally?

I do correct my son, however, because I know he's not sensitive about it.

The main thing, I think, is not to persist when you know it upsets someone.

Yes, it varies. You don't do it publicly, and you see their preferences regarding it.

I don't constantly correct people here, because it's pointless and it doesn't really serve to do much, but I do it to friends.

That said, I'm not comfortable with my parents doing it, but that's more a note on the dynamic of my relationship with them.

[feral chile]

Yes, it varies. You don't do it publicly, and you see their preferences regarding it.

I don't constantly correct people here, because it's pointless and it doesn't really serve to do much, but I do it to friends.

That said, I'm not comfortable with my parents doing it, but that's more a note on the dynamic of my relationship with them.

I just had a look at a few anti bullying websites, and they refer to persistent criticism as part of the definition of bullying.

So it would be the perception of the correcting behaviour that's important.

That's why how the correcting is done, is so important.

Edited February 3, 2015 by feral chile

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Here's an anti bullying piece of artwork that I created. It's the only piece of work I have ever done which actually has meaning behind it. It's suppossed to suggest;

Bullies are all the same the world over.

Don't let bullies tie you down or affect your personal growth.

Enjoy being different to bullies, and don't become one.

Edited - I couldn't copy the photo and paste it as this site wouldn't accept it. back to the drawing board. I so wish I knew how to do more things on the computer.

Edited February 3, 2015 by Yoghurt on a Stick

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Another failed attempt at posting image.

Edited February 3, 2015 by Yoghurt on a Stick

[feral chile]

No luck yet yog?

Maybe put in a website request thingy to neil for advice?

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Hello feral

I think there's nothing Neil can do as I'm certain it's a failure on my part in how to transfer photos (which I have taken!) and put them on here. Normally I can just copy and paste but it's not letting me do this. This has happened to me before and is annoying. I'll have to ask my step son about it when he is next around. In the mean time I'll try another 10 minutes with it to see if I can crack it myself.

[feral chile]

My all time favourite song, I have a lot to thank this song for. My last 40 years on this planet, for one thing. And how I've tried to love them. (Freudian slip - live them, but still applies )

Edited February 3, 2015 by feral chile

[feral chile]

I had to open a photobucket account to share my own photos, I don't think there's another way.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Unfortunately I don't know how to do that either. I'll look into it though, as every other way I've tried has been doomed to failure. Back in a bit. Thanks for the tip by the way.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

feral - you're a genius. You have just helped my IT development out enormously. Thanks

[feral chile]

feral - you're a genius. You have just helped my IT development out enormously. Thanks

You're welcome.

And yes, your picture does convey what you hoped it would.