poll How to wipe??

[stuartbert two hats]

It seems that some people actually prefer to take bog roll around with them rather than just keeping some handy andys in their pocket all day and being sorted in all weathers.

What do you use?

[A Guy Called Matt]

 

1 minute ago, stuartbert two hats said:

What do you use?

My hand 

[Gucci Piggy]

My mate at Leeds '13 forgot to take any in with him so used a jumper that was in there that other people had used and was covered in dried shit.

Not a great move.

[Mezhyp1]

From personal experience, wet wipes make you feel like you've shat yourself, so they are the biggest no possible 

[Wow-wys-buzzing]

If I'm near my tent, I'll take loo roll, but when out and about I'll always take a packet of tissues to use 

[Gnomicide]

The dangly bit of my wristband.

[Wooderson]

Trusty copy of Razzle.

[TomViolence]

 

Are we not supposed to use the sawdust?

[mr gumby]

Who wipes?

[kingbadger]

Copy of The Sun

[Untz]

34 minutes ago, Gnomicide said:

The dangly bit of my wristband.

So that's why it needs to be on the opposite hand.

[Frankly Mr Shankly]

Wet wipes to make sure it's crystal clean, bog roll to dry the old ring up afterwards. Sorted.

[Woffy]

I like to wipe with an entire band rather than just a solo artist.

[slash's hat]

I thought this might be a front to back, back to front question....or is that just a female issue? 

 

[Smeble]

A single sheet of bog roll is all that is needed.

[Beaver89]

Let it never be said we don't tackle the important issues in this forum

[kingbadger]

Though this thread has reminded myself of being stuck relieving myself whilst Bastille attempted to cover No Scrubs at Beni, and being unable to escape for a good 5 minutes. Not the best way to bring that festival to a close.

[Gnomicide]

33 minutes ago, Smeble said:

A single sheet of bog roll is all that is needed.

I think you'll find it's two.

One to clean and one to polish.

[kingbadger]

1 minute ago, Gnomicide said:

I think you'll find it's two.

One to clean and one to polish.

But once you've done that and taken care of the seat, what do you use for yourself?

[___S_o_m_a__]

Sit or stand is the question that I wouldn't ask.

From The Internet

In early 2005, I was on a ski trip with 6 of my college buddies in Vermont. I accidentally walked into the bathroom of the house we were staying in right as one of my buddies was wrapping up a dump and wiping his ass. I was FUCKING SHOCKED to see my friend standing up and cramming toilet paper in his ass. I quickly exited, and went back to the living room where I promptly informed the other 5 guys what I had witnessed. "Dude, he was standing and wiping his ass! How fucking weird is that shit!?" Instead of the uproarious laughter I expected, I was met with complete silence. I would come to find out that I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THAT HOUSE THAT SAT DOWN WHEN I WIPED MY ASS. As I was high as fuck at the time, this situation completely blew my fucking mind.

I returned home and launched an investigation into the Stand vs. Sit question that has been going on for the past 5 years. I have talked to friends, friends of friends, random people at bars, etc. I was, and continue to be, completely fucking fascinated by these results. . .

- There is a 50/50 split between sitters and standers
- Each half is completely unaware the other half exists
- Amongst the standers there is a 50/50 split between those that simply stand up and those that stand, turn, and face the toilet.

[___S_o_m_a__]

Also you can have an entire bog roll that is flat therefore this poll is flawed. I want a recount!

[Gucci Piggy]

2 minutes ago, ___S_o_m_a__ said:

Sit or stand is the question that I wouldn't ask.

From The Internet

In early 2005, I was on a ski trip with 6 of my college buddies in Vermont. I accidentally walked into the bathroom of the house we were staying in right as one of my buddies was wrapping up a dump and wiping his ass. I was FUCKING SHOCKED to see my friend standing up and cramming toilet paper in his ass. I quickly exited, and went back to the living room where I promptly informed the other 5 guys what I had witnessed. "Dude, he was standing and wiping his ass! How fucking weird is that shit!?" Instead of the uproarious laughter I expected, I was met with complete silence. I would come to find out that I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THAT HOUSE THAT SAT DOWN WHEN I WIPED MY ASS. As I was high as fuck at the time, this situation completely blew my fucking mind.

I returned home and launched an investigation into the Stand vs. Sit question that has been going on for the past 5 years. I have talked to friends, friends of friends, random people at bars, etc. I was, and continue to be, completely fucking fascinated by these results. . .

- There is a 50/50 split between sitters and standers
- Each half is completely unaware the other half exists
- Amongst the standers there is a 50/50 split between those that simply stand up and those that stand, turn, and face the toilet.

Hahahahaha what?! I've never heard of anyone standing up. And even if you do, why would you turn around and face the toilet?

[Amy Lawn]

How do you manage to access your anus to wipe it if sitting on it? Anatomically speaking, you have to be standing to wipe. Why you would turn to face your fresh turds, I have no idea.

[Gucci Piggy]

1 minute ago, GETOFFAMYLAWN said:

How do you manage to access your anus to wipe it if sitting on it? Anatomically speaking, you have to be standing to wipe. Why you would turn to face your fresh turds, I have no idea.

Your entire arse isn't touching the seat, is it? There's a gap all the way round the back; you ram your arm down there.

[The Placid Casual]

Stand and face away.

 

The motto I live my life by.