Glastonbury Mental Health

[guypjfreak]

Thought this had a good double message 

[UEF]

I find with Glasto, I always feel a lot better once I'm there.

It can be a bit hard to put yourself in the headspace, especially after the 2 year gaps

[Caribun]

22 minutes ago, guypjfreak said:

So now that the festival is drawing closer how are people feeling.. 

I keep swaying from going... Not going.... Definitely going etc especially with the weather.. After I smashed my ankle in 09 I've always dreaded the big M.. And my anxiety levels are all over the place.. 

How's everyone else.. I'm hoping for all of you to be TOP OF THE RANGE OLD SONS but I know it might not be the case for all. G

I'm freaking out. Hubby wants to pack his bag whilst I'm away at a hen do and I bit his head off in a truly irrational moment of anxiety, telling him that I needed to know exactly what had been packed where, including his clothing. 

 

Awesome. I'm going to be a mess by the time we go. 

[Rufus Gwertigan]

23 hours ago, guypjfreak said:

So now that the festival is drawing closer how are people feeling.. 

I keep swaying from going... Not going.... Definitely going etc especially with the weather.. After I smashed my ankle in 09 I've always dreaded the big M.. And my anxiety levels are all over the place.. 

How's everyone else.. I'm hoping for all of you to be TOP OF THE RANGE OLD SONS but I know it might not be the case for all. G

You are not the only one with swaying. it has been 10 years since I have been and 9 years doing a festival. However I enjoy a challenge and I have my son with  me which should help 

[StLewi]

How's everyone feeling now it's over? 

For me, unfortuantely, I feel my worrying, anxiety and overplanning in the days, weeks, months proior to the festival sapped all my energy and hampered my enjoyment whilst there. Friends who I don't see often commented on how, on occasions, I was withdrawn and quiet.

At times, I felt low, depressed and caught in spirals of negative thinking, even though I was in the best place on earth. I'm now beating myself up for not enjoying it as much as I should have. So that, coupled with the usual post-Glasto comedown, is resulting in a pretty hard time. 

I did have some really good moments, and that's what I need to focus on.

On the plus side, I could see this coming prior to the festival, so I'm being proactive by booking an appointment with my doc and seeking out therapy to manage this better. I will be in a better position for the big Glasto 50.

Edited July 5, 2019 by StLewi

[Rufus Gwertigan]

1 hour ago, StLewi said:

How's everyone feeling now it's over? 

For me, unfortuantely, I feel my worrying, anxiety and overplanning in the days, weeks, months proior to the festival sapped all my energy and hampered my enjoyment whilst there. Friends who I don't see often commented on how, on occasions, I was withdrawn and quiet.

At times, I felt low, depressed and caught in spirals of negative thinking, even though I was in the best place on earth. I'm now beating myself up for not enjoying it as much as I should have. So that, coupled with the usual post-Glasto comedown, is resulting in a pretty hard time. 

I did have some really good moments, and that's what I need to focus on.

On the plus side, I could see this coming prior to the festival, so I'm being proactive by booking an appointment with my doc and seeking out therapy to manage this better. I will be in a better position for the big Glasto 50.

Sorry to hear that but at least you are able to identify your issues. Good luck with the GP. 

It was a quiet one for me. I got the drinking out of my system by Thursday. Managed to sleep 8-12 hours a day. A few panic attacks. I had to leave Kylie after only 4 songs and I had learned the song and dance thing. 

[BambooShanks]

1 hour ago, StLewi said:

Friends who I don't see often commented on how, on occasions, I was withdrawn and quiet.

Yeah I was in the same boat for a couple of the days.  All of the anxiety of worrying about other peoples' enjoyment kinda shat on my own a little.

Then there was the issues I generally have in that I can be very introverted at times and really struggle to maintain conversations / banter if I'm not in a great place.  It's so frustrating as when I'm on form I am chatty and good company to be around, but when I'm not it just feels so awkward and then as soon as I become aware of the awkwardness, it's a vicious feedback loop.

Fortunately the people I was with knows what I'm like and know not to take it personally if I'm being quiet but it's still incredibly frustrating at times.

 

Generally though, things were ok.  There was a couple of occasions where I felt really flat, low and/or fragile but it's to be expected I guess.

Though I have come out of the experience feeling like I'm ready to make a few changes.  I want to properly give coming off my antidepressants a go so I need to fully schedule how I'm going to do that and generally live a much healthier lifestyle, so it's all good really.

 

 

[Crazyfool01]

bit of a rollercoaster at the festival many many ups and one annoying down on the last night ..... I had some really great things said to me over the course of the festival which I will take back to everyday /normal life ..... including comments like you look incredible / amazing which were a real boost to my self esteem ... but frustratingly a bit of lack of self confidence on the last night really did my head in !! but on a positive it was about 1am and the festival was nearly over  

[danmarks]

11 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

bit of a rollercoaster at the festival many many ups and one annoying down on the last night ..... I had some really great things said to me over the course of the festival which I will take back to everyday /normal life ..... including comments like you look incredible / amazing which were a real boost to my self esteem ... but frustratingly a bit of lack of self confidence on the last night really did my head in !! but on a positive it was about 1am and the festival was nearly over  

You dont need validation from anyone else .

Ive been to some very very dark places and i can truly say only when i finally started liking myself did things start to fall into place.

You come across on this forum like a genuinely nice person. You have obviously made an impression on people in work- you left and they gave you your job back. 

I guess im just saying-enjoy what you do - the fancy dress etc but dont slip into the area of believing thats what defines you and thats what people think is good about you. You are worth more than that. People will want to know you wether you have a pryamid on your head or if you are sunburnt and bald if you continue to be the person you come across as.

[Crazyfool01]

1 minute ago, danmarks said:

You dont need validation from anyone else .

Ive been to some very very dark places and i can truly say only when i finally started liking myself did things start to fall into place.

You come across on this forum like a genuinely nice person. You have obviously made an impression on people in work- you left and they gave you your job back. 

I guess im just saying-enjoy what you do - the fancy dress etc but dont slip into the area of believing thats what defines you and thats what people think is good about you. You are worth more than that. People will want to know you wether you have a pryamid on your head or if you are sunburnt and bald if you continue to be the person you come across as.

thanks  sometimes the kind words are what's needed though and its rare to get them in (normal) life just gives a little boost .... I dont dislike myself ... just my lack of confidence in certain situations ... sometimes its not just the fancy dress but the festival in general that makes me realise I can do better and the limits are only something that I put there myself ... 

[danmarks]

Ahh cool. Yep theres nothing like kind words sometimes but just using my own experience of lack of confidence led to some very bad decisions- mostly involv ving alcohol and after a while not being able to differentiate between what i presented to people thinking it's what they wanted from me (mostly acting an absolute bell end, being the drinker etc) and true friends, or honest people who just wanted me to be me. 

Not suggesting for one minute that you are anywhere like this but lack of confidence can be crippling. Just make sure you always keep the 'real' crazyfool available and you dont start feeling thr need to 'perform' for any one. If you one year think i dont want to wear fancy dress just know that people will still want to know you.

[danmarks]

And yep. Any festival has the effect on me of thinking i could do better. But then within 2 days im back to 'ah thisll do'.?

[Crazyfool01]

1 minute ago, danmarks said:

And yep. Any festival has the effect on me of thinking i could do better. But then within 2 days im back to 'ah thisll do'.?

me most years ... but we will see how different this year becomes  .... few things to sort out .....I never get to any stage where its more than beating myself up a little .... but wise words thank you 

[danmarks]

Youre very welcome. Keep the faith in something bigger and better coming ahead for you 

[Mr.Tease]

38 minutes ago, danmarks said:

You dont need validation from anyone else .

Ive been to some very very dark places and i can truly say only when i finally started liking myself did things start to fall into place.

You come across on this forum like a genuinely nice person. You have obviously made an impression on people in work- you left and they gave you your job back. 

I guess im just saying-enjoy what you do - the fancy dress etc but dont slip into the area of believing thats what defines you and thats what people think is good about you. You are worth more than that. People will want to know you wether you have a pryamid on your head or if you are sunburnt and bald if you continue to be the person you come across as.

I think if you can get to a place of valuing yourself unconditionally (that can include still getting p'd off with yourself and your short comings, but not going all out on yourself!), then it certainly free's you from the tyranny of other peoples opinions, and is a very healthy place to be. I think I've gotten to the point where I am what I am, and I'm roughly okay with that- it allows me to give myself a break from/ or at least takes the edge off self-criticism sometimes.

But I think we all do, to some extent, crave some sort of validation from others. Of course some of us fall into that category of craving positive validation from others, which we then can't/won't actually accept! ?

[Crazyfool01]

2 minutes ago, Mr.Tease said:

I think if you can get to a place of valuing yourself unconditionally (that can include still getting p'd off with yourself and your short comings, but not going all out on yourself!), then it certainly free's you from the tyranny of other peoples opinions, and is a very healthy place to be. I think I've gotten to the point where I am what I am, and I'm roughly okay with that- it allows me to give myself a break from/ or at least takes the edge off self-criticism sometimes.

But I think we all do, to some extent, crave some sort of validation from others. Of course some of us fall into that category of craving positive validation from others, which we then can't/won't actually accept! ?

its just my singleness  that really frustrates me ... I see my friends / family moving on with life having kids etc and its something that I hoped might have happened to me by this point of my life ... the more I think about it  the more I get into a situation where it annoys me ... and yes I know ladies are able to read this in guys ... but it becomes a downward spiral .. I can talk to people fine but struggle with anything after that 

[carlosj]

1 hour ago, crazyfool1 said:

its just my singleness  that really frustrates me ... I see my friends / family moving on with life having kids etc and its something that I hoped might have happened to me by this point of my life ... the more I think about it  the more I get into a situation where it annoys me ... and yes I know ladies are able to read this in guys ... but it becomes a downward spiral .. I can talk to people fine but struggle with anything after that 

There is that scenario that society applies to ourselves, of marriage and kids and the 9-5 secure job. It doesn't make it easy when any of that is missing. I don't know your life and I can't know how you're really feeling, but I would still say that there are chances to meet someone and achieve a relationship, although it may not lead to kids. How to do that is difficult. I went with online dating to meet women and then my 2nd wife, as the traditional walk up to someone in the pub wasn't going to be my thing. However, I was also coming out of late stages of grieving as I'd been bereaved, and looking back I must have been giving off waves of desperation, which is why 99% of the dates didn't go to a second one. I spent time with people, especially women as colleagues and friends rather than a potential partner, not using them as objects so I could put on better patter, but so I could relate to people better as myself, centre myself and get my head in a better place. Looking for a partner puts a different slant on how a relationship progresses, but are you able to think in terms of meeting women as part of your social activities and not as a date, and then see what happens out of the blue? I spent ages sending texts back and forth with MrsCJ before we actually met, building that rapport, which is better for me than the first time meet and trying to talk.

I'm sorry if this is unwarranted and makes you feel bad (that's not what I intended) and I apologise if so. I just wanted to give you a warm handshake and say there will be someone.

 

[Crazyfool01]

3 minutes ago, carlosj said:

There is that scenario that society applies to ourselves, of marriage and kids and the 9-5 secure job. It doesn't make it easy when any of that is missing. I don't know your life and I can't know how you're really feeling, but I would still say that there are chances to meet someone and achieve a relationship, although it may not lead to kids. How to do that is difficult. I went with online dating to meet women and then my 2nd wife, as the traditional walk up to someone in the pub wasn't going to be my thing. However, I was also coming out of late stages of grieving as I'd been bereaved, and looking back I must have been giving off waves of desperation, which is why 99% of the dates didn't go to a second one. I spent time with people, especially women as colleagues and friends rather than a potential partner, not using them as objects so I could put on better patter, but so I could relate to people better as myself, centre myself and get my head in a better place. Looking for a partner puts a different slant on how a relationship progresses, but are you able to think in terms of meeting women as part of your social activities and not as a date, and then see what happens out of the blue? I spent ages sending texts back and forth with MrsCJ before we actually met, building that rapport, which is better for me than the first time meet and trying to talk.

I'm sorry if this is unwarranted and makes you feel bad (that's not what I intended) and I apologise if so. I just wanted to give you a warm handshake and say there will be someone.

 

doesn't make me feel bad .. so is fine  ... I guess I just find the step from friendship to more difficult now as its been quite a while ... I have female friends and they cant work out why either .. although I dont do so much socially that gets me lots of female company these days ... I play badminton and go to the gym ... so maybe I should be a bit more proactive in terms of these situations ... online dating has been a complete dead loss ... I think its hard with the picture thing being the selling point .. my profiles decent and have had female friends look at it to check :)n

[danmarks]

Its a cliche but these things often happen when you arent looking.  Work any good as a social thing?friends of friends kind of thing. Not necessarily as a date but just expanding your potential circleSorry if this comes over as 'i know best '. Online dating can work for some but mostly its horrendous horror stories from both sides. I'm sorry your life isnt quite how you planned it at this point but as said above it can *and will* change. 

It never helps people saying - but look at everything you have got!

Keep smiling mr. cf

[Crazyfool01]

25 minutes ago, danmarks said:

Its a cliche but these things often happen when you arent looking.  Work any good as a social thing?friends of friends kind of thing. Not necessarily as a date but just expanding your potential circleSorry if this comes over as 'i know best '. Online dating can work for some but mostly its horrendous horror stories from both sides. I'm sorry your life isnt quite how you planned it at this point but as said above it can *and will* change. 

It never helps people saying - but look at everything you have got!

Keep smiling mr. cf

I will and I know I should be expanding that social circle  ... it’s the not looking I struggle with ... but yes absolutely  ... cheers all CF x 

[Rufus Gwertigan]

This is an interesting read if you have the time. I am inclined to delve deeper into the science behind it. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49194336

[Room to sway]

On 7/5/2019 at 6:00 PM, crazyfool1 said:

its just my singleness  that really frustrates me ... I see my friends / family moving on with life having kids etc and its something that I hoped might have happened to me by this point of my life ... the more I think about it  the more I get into a situation where it annoys me ... and yes I know ladies are able to read this in guys ... but it becomes a downward spiral .. I can talk to people fine but struggle with anything after that 

I don't know if I'm reading more into this than is actually here, but you don't say that you actively want a relationship. Comparing yourself to other peoples' situations and asking "wouldn't that be nice...?" is one thing, but do you actually want your own version of that?

I'm in a similar situation (in that I'm about the only single person I know), and I don't know if it's just because it's been that long since I've had a proper relationship (16 years) and I'm basically used to it, or whether it's just something I don't really want that much, but I've accepted that I'm not actively seeking a relationship. If something happens, fine, but I'm just not that invested in the idea to make something happen.

If you go into it because you feel you have to, or you ought to, then you're not likely to make that connection with someone because you're fundamentally not that interested. Like you I'm fine talking with women but I just get uneasy when more is on the cards.

Creating more situations where meeting someone is possible is no bad thing of course, but relationships are not the only way to live, and you shouldn't feel obliged to live as others do. I like living by myself and choosing every moment for myself.

I could be (and probably am) wrong about what you want, but either way being single is fine, and you shouldn't be loading yourself up with pressure to be otherwise.  Living is a very personal thing.

[Mr.Tease]

8 minutes ago, Room to sway said:

I don't know if I'm reading more into this than is actually here, but you don't say that you actively want a relationship. Comparing yourself to other peoples' situations and asking "wouldn't that be nice...?" is one thing, but do you actually want your own version of that?

I'm in a similar situation (in that I'm about the only single person I know), and I don't know if it's just because it's been that long since I've had a proper relationship (16 years) and I'm basically used to it, or whether it's just something I don't really want that much, but I've accepted that I'm not actively seeking a relationship. If something happens, fine, but I'm just not that invested in the idea to make something happen.

If you go into it because you feel you have to, or you ought to, then you're not likely to make that connection with someone because you're fundamentally not that interested. Like you I'm fine talking with women but I just get uneasy when more is on the cards.

Creating more situations where meeting someone is possible is no bad thing of course, but relationships are not the only way to live, and you shouldn't feel obliged to live as others do. I like living by myself and choosing every moment for myself.

I could be (and probably am) wrong about what you want, but either way being single is fine, and you shouldn't be loading yourself up with pressure to be otherwise.  Living is a very personal thing.

That's pretty much how I feel these days. I like my own company, I'm used to it, I don't really have a longing for a relationship like I used to when I was younger. I quite like having the freedom- don't really feel I'm missing out on anything, or know of many couples whose relationship I envy. I think the only thing I find difficult about being single is that you also kind of lose your friends as they all partner up and  so understandably have a bit less time to spend with you, and you become a bit less important to them.

There are lots of pressures from society as to the kind of life you're meant to have, but it's never enough- if you're single, you're expected to find a partner, if you find a partner, then there's a pressure to have children, etc etc, and if you don't do these things then you're viewed as either a failure or odd (or you can start to feel like your somehow failing at life!).

I agree, living is a personal thing, though it is hard sometimes maintaining that mantra when it feels like everyone else around you is doing something different.

Ha, I can relate to your line about being fine talking to people but then becoming uncomfortable when more is on the cards- I remember many years ago a woman I worked with was in my flat, for what i thought was just a friendly chat, and then she started telling me that she had just bought some underwear from Anne Summers, at which point I started to panic, and instinctively made my excuses and left "anyways, I better be going!", not fully realising that I was already in my flat and how nonsensical it was to say I had be going at 10pm from my own flat and leaving them there? Smooth!

[Room to sway]

44 minutes ago, Mr.Tease said:

I remember many years ago a woman I worked with was in my flat, for what i thought was just a friendly chat, and then she started telling me that she had just bought some underwear from Anne Summers, at which point I started to panic, and instinctively made my excuses and left "anyways, I better be going!", not fully realising that I was already in my flat and how nonsensical it was to say I had be going at 10pm from my own flat and leaving them there? Smooth!

Sorry but that's just you being a twat

Yeah been in similar situations...

 

EDIT: So how did that situation end? Bet she was a bit confused!

Edited August 5, 2019 by Room to sway

[Crazyfool01]

52 minutes ago, Mr.Tease said:

That's pretty much how I feel these days. I like my own company, I'm used to it, I don't really have a longing for a relationship like I used to when I was younger. I quite like having the freedom- don't really feel I'm missing out on anything, or know of many couples whose relationship I envy. I think the only thing I find difficult about being single is that you also kind of lose your friends as they all partner up and  so understandably have a bit less time to spend with you, and you become a bit less important to them.

There are lots of pressures from society as to the kind of life you're meant to have, but it's never enough- if you're single, you're expected to find a partner, if you find a partner, then there's a pressure to have children, etc etc, and if you don't do these things then you're viewed as either a failure or odd (or you can start to feel like your somehow failing at life!).

I agree, living is a personal thing, though it is hard sometimes maintaining that mantra when it feels like everyone else around you is doing something different.

Ha, I can relate to your line about being fine talking to people but then becoming uncomfortable when more is on the cards- I remember many years ago a woman I worked with was in my flat, for what i thought was just a friendly chat, and then she started telling me that she had just bought some underwear from Anne Summers, at which point I started to panic, and instinctively made my excuses and left "anyways, I better be going!", not fully realising that I was already in my flat and how nonsensical it was to say I had be going at 10pm from my own flat and leaving them there? Smooth!

 I can relate  made me laugh Cheers