Glastonbury Mental Health

[Quark]

Incidentally did anyone else make it to the Ruby Wax session?  was kicking myself a bit while I was there as I really wanted to see the Dropkick Murphys, but it definitely put my brain in a great place for the final evening of the festival!

[Charm]

35 minutes ago, Quark said:

Incidentally did anyone else make it to the Ruby Wax session?  was kicking myself a bit while I was there as I really wanted to see the Dropkick Murphys, but it definitely put my brain in a great place for the final evening of the festival!

Yeah she was great, I love the Speakers Forum, always learn something interesting, we were pretty ruined by Sunday and spent most of the day in there laying on the mat at the back, was even too tired to stand up to see ME but it was nice to hear his voice. 

Charm x

 

[Quark]

3 minutes ago, Charm said:

Yeah she was great, I love the Speakers Forum, always learn something interesting, we were pretty ruined by Sunday and spent most of the day in there laying on the mat at the back, was even too tired to stand up to see ME but it was nice to hear his voice. 

Charm x

 

Was my first visit!  Made a conscious decision this year to try and do more than just music

[scaryclaireyfairy]

I found myself at The Killers rather than Ruby.  It could have been a disaster due to the massive crowd but we were there an hour early so could choose a spot. This meant I accidentally caught and enjoyed Frank Carter.  While my mate managed to ferret her way into the tent, I found a patch of shade with a fence to lean against and space to sit down (on a binbag cos all grass near fences is suspiciously damp always).  I turned out to be practically in the outside speaker stack when they turned it on, but still, I had space to breathe and enjoy it and nice people around me (shout to the young blonde couple who were at Glasto for the first time).  It was therapeutic in itself and grand fun.  Sadly, then I got caught in the logjam between Killers and Chic crowds.  That messed up the rest of my time, if I'm honest.  Resulted in me listening to Biffy from my tent rather than in the field and I could not shift the thousand yard stare.  As crowd incidents go, it wasn't terrible. It wasn't even concerning to most around me. There was an incident where a woman fell over and those around her halted the shuffle entirely until she was ok.  It was quite something to watch how the shout of 'stop!' went back and was obeyed.  But in my anxious mind it also laid bare that there was absolutely no one in hi-viz around to help if anything went properly wrong.

[Charm]

6 minutes ago, Quark said:

Was my first visit!  Made a conscious decision this year to try and do more than just music

We saw less music this year too for some reason, spent a lot of time in the Cabaret tent, Frank Sanazi was an unexpected highlight. 

Charm x

[liamium]

On 7/5/2017 at 10:11 AM, Charm said:

We saw less music this year too for some reason, spent a lot of time in the Cabaret tent, Frank Sanazi was an unexpected highlight. 

Charm x

Never spent so little time watching bands as we did this year. 'Must sees' fell by the wayside as we succumbed to the gentle lure of other, more immediately therapeutic whims. spent a lot of time getting stuck in making stuff in the craft field. it's a uniquely glastonbury thing to be able to do things like spoon carving, japanese raku ceramics glazing, basket weaving. things I wouldn't make time for in the real world even if i could - but when laid out in front of me, in the place I'm in with mental health currently, they were irresistible. 

[slash's hat]

I think this year I was more focused on my kids having a great time and most of my anxiety was about them. They're 12 (twins) and one was easygoing and dancing away - the other noticeably more self conscious, making me think is she having a good time. Just at that age I guess.

Getting caught in Fridays Arcadia crush was first time I actually felt unsafe, but everywhere just seemed crowded to me this year - admittedly didn't get to green fields etc.

Sunday I was ready to go home, was in a right downer - couldn't even say why, managed to lift myself for ed where my girls and me had a great time.

Its a funny old place - 5 days to sustain being happy and jovial because you feel you should. Same as being on holiday - always feels to me a bit ungrateful to not be enjoying something. Its learning that its OK to have a dip, and as said before someone in front of you having a great time just might have been feeling like you an hour ago.

[guypjfreak]

On 05/07/2017 at 10:11 AM, Charm said:

We saw less music this year too for some reason, spent a lot of time in the Cabaret tent, Frank Sanazi was an unexpected highlight. 

Charm x

Sunday morning is usually bad for me and about 4 years back I was in a total mess being sick the lot.. My wife dragged me out to the Cabaret tent.... It was nice and dark and not too crowded. We watched a couple of acts and I was just having my first can when on came this bloke called Frank... Well that was it I left the tent in tears and full of the joys of Glastonbury... I missed him this year but every year after that I wouldn't go a Glastonbury without seeing him and I'd take friends so that they could get it.. Genius imo wish he had longer slots tho.. 

Yea I did it here's the man to put a smile on your face.. If not your to serious lol

Edited July 17, 2017 by guypjfreak

[UEF]

On the subject of Frank Sanazi - on Friday night got away from the masses to see him do his 'Tom Moans' act, followed by Phill Jupitus. Enjoyed both immensely. 

[The Other Steve]

Glastonbury is a roller coaster for anyone suffering with depression. I don't know about anyone else but my anxiety levels are through the roof at the moment. I'm ok and in control but man this is tough.

[vintagelaureate]

1 minute ago, lazzareo said:

Glastonbury is a roller coaster for anyone suffering with depression. I don't know about anyone else but my anxiety levels are through the roof at the moment. I'm ok and in control but man this is tough.

Take care of yourself! 

[The Other Steve]

2 minutes ago, vintagelaureate said:

Take care of yourself! 

Thanks and I'm really ok...just up and down but ok.  Hope everyone else is coping as can be tough and good to have a forum to talk.

[guypjfreak]

On 7/18/2017 at 4:58 PM, UEF said:

On the subject of Frank Sanazi - on Friday night got away from the masses to see him do his 'Tom Moans' act, followed by Phill Jupitus. Enjoyed both immensely. 

Frank is brilliant. I only wish he was on for longer.. Or that he was joined by the rest of the pack.. He's really nice and chatty on face ache.. 

[vintagelaureate]

1 minute ago, lazzareo said:

Thanks and I'm really ok...just up and down but ok.  Hope everyone else is coping as can be tough and good to have a forum to talk.

I vent all kinds of here sometimes, it's a good place for out pouring. 

Seriously, if you need it, drop me a message. It get hard sometimes. 

Good luck for Sunday!

[RichardWaller]

Had this thread brought to my attention by @slash's hat a couple of weeks ago, but only just got around to dipping me toe in it now, so cheers for that.

Yeah, another one here with depression and anxiety and 20 years later I'm still none the wiser for the best way to deal with it. I've tried fluoxetine, citalopram, sertraline, temazepam, CBT, workshops and online forums. Some with more time and patience than others, probably none with long enough.

I'm glad threads like this exist, I have been a member of a forum specifically about depression but not been on it for ages. For me, this could be better. I mean, rather than going to a forum about depression and saying hey, I'm depressed, I'm here saying I'm going to Glastonbury but by the way, I also have depression. Putting it that way, it's not as much of who I am, it's less legitimising of my feelings. Or that's what it feels like at least, and that can only be a good thing. If someone else were to tell me they're feeling about themself the way I do about myself, I could sit there and reel off this and that, why they shouldn't be so hard on themselves, why they should be kind to themselves and not have ridiculous expectations or standards that they wouldn't have for anyone else. Not that they'd turn around and say wow, you're right, I'm better now.. And not that I would if anyone said the same to me, either. For reasons still unknown, I have rules and expectations of myself that I've never had for anyone else, and things I can forgive anyone except myself for. 

Anyway, Glastonbury is one place where that.. well not goes away cos it never does, but it doesn't matter as much as it does today, here and now. I can get lost in a place I love and my reality is a few days away. If this thread is only helpful for one person on one day. it's been worth it.

Edited October 29, 2018 by RichardWaller

[slash's hat]

1 hour ago, RichardWaller said:

Had this thread brought to my attention by @slash's hat a couple of weeks ago, but only just got around to dipping me toe in it now, so cheers for that.

Yeah, another one here with depression and anxiety and 20 years later I'm still none the wiser for the best way to deal with it. I've tried fluoxetine, citalopram, sertraline, temazepam, CBT, workshops and online forums. Some with more time and patience than others, probably none with long enough.

I'm glad threads like this exist, I have been a member of a forum specifically about depression but not been on it for ages. For me, this could be better. I mean, rather than going to a forum about depression and saying hey, I'm depressed, I'm here saying I'm going to Glastonbury but by the way, I also have depression. Putting it that way, it's not as much of who I am, it's less legitimising of my feelings. Or that's what it feels like at least, and that can only be a good thing. If someone else were to tell me they're feeling about themself the way I do about myself, I could sit there and reel off this and that, why they shouldn't be so hard on themselves, why they should be kind to themselves and not have ridiculous expectations or standards that they wouldn't have for anyone else. Not that they'd turn around and say wow, you're right, I'm better now.. And not that I would if anyone said the same to me, either. For reasons still unknown, I have rules and expectations of myself that I've never had for anyone else, and things I can forgive anyone except myself for. 

Anyway, Glastonbury is one place where that.. well not goes away cos it never does, but it doesn't matter as much as it does today, here and now. I can get lost in a place I love and my reality is a few days away. If this thread is only helpful for one person on one day. it's been worth it.

We're all masters at telling someone else how they shouldn't beat themselves up etc. not so good at taking our own advice. I've had CBT but that wasn't the right thing for me at that time, though think I did take something away from it. Tried mindfulness and that headspace app, but just can't do it. I spoke to someone recently and she just said if there's too much whirring away in your head anyway then you are not going to be able to do it. Plus my scepticism of these things doesn't help!

It's sometimes just nice to not discuss why you're feeling the way you are, but know that you're not alone in your anxieties in a place like Glastonbury and it is a part of many people's lives.

 

[RichardWaller]

3 minutes ago, slash's hat said:

We're all masters at telling someone else how they shouldn't beat themselves up etc. not so good at taking our own advice. I've had CBT but that wasn't the right thing for me at that time, though think I did take something away from it. Tried mindfulness and that headspace app, but just can't do it. I spoke to someone recently and she just said if there's too much whirring away in your head anyway then you are not going to be able to do it. Plus my scepticism of these things doesn't help!

It's sometimes just nice to not discuss why you're feeling the way you are, but know that you're not alone in your anxieties in a place like Glastonbury and it is a part of many people's lives.

 

Aye, so easy to say. Been telling myself to pull myself together for the last 20 years, constantly reminding myself that things could be worse etc but when has that ever helped anyone? If you could just decide yep, I'm gonna be fine, there'd be no such thing as depression. I'm sceptical too and that's a classic chicken and egg thing really, isn't it? Is my sceptism a contributor to or symptom of depression.. As far as my brain is concerned, CBT is all about lying to myself. Course I'm well aware of all the lies and tricks my depressed brain plays on me too, can you fight fire with fire? As far as meds go, I just think it's a bit fucked how much in common there is between possible side effects of the meds and possible symptoms of depression. Some of the symptoms I wish I did have! Supressed appetite, that'd be a good one for me. But can also increase your appetite too... I just found meds frustrating, to this day I have no idea whether I've actually benefited from them at all at any time. If I felt less shit for a bit I had no idea whether it was cos of the meds or any other external factor, maybe it was having a few gigs lined up I was looking forward to, getting into a new relationship or new job, or it could've just been coming into spring - whatever. 

I went to something like this a few months ago Letting Go Of Anxiety, Not in New York mind, just here in Manchester. It was out of my comfort zone, I did have my preconceptions and it can be hard to leave them at the door. I did struggle to take it seriously, felt like it was a kinda abstract way of stating the obvious, may as well just sat there fo a couple of hours telling me not to worry about this, this, that. Anyway, not in any position to rule anything out, if anything works for anyone, good for them.

 

[Caribun]

On 10/5/2018 at 6:35 PM, lazzareo said:

Glastonbury is a roller coaster for anyone suffering with depression. I don't know about anyone else but my anxiety levels are through the roof at the moment. I'm ok and in control but man this is tough.

I feel your pain. I'm looking forward to my first Glastonbury, after not being able to go in 2017, but then keep getting so anxious about camping, weather, people, getting lost, anxiety about feeling anxious, anxiety about feeling like I should be super excited because we have tickets but I keep panicking... Like you say, a roller coaster of emotions! Lots of good thoughts to you. 

[Quark]

4 minutes ago, Caribun said:

I feel your pain. I'm looking forward to my first Glastonbury, after not being able to go in 2017, but then keep getting so anxious about camping, weather, people, getting lost, anxiety about feeling anxious, anxiety about feeling like I should be super excited because we have tickets but I keep panicking... Like you say, a roller coaster of emotions! Lots of good thoughts to you. 

This and other threads are a great place for people sharing the little tricks and tips they have for dealing with it all.  Obviously it's different strokes for different folks, but you'll find some good ideas on here.

Mine remains the Tiny Tea Tent. I think it's the proper mugs, just normalises everything for 15 mins or so

[RichardWaller]

12 minutes ago, Caribun said:

I feel your pain. I'm looking forward to my first Glastonbury, after not being able to go in 2017, but then keep getting so anxious about camping, weather, people, getting lost, anxiety about feeling anxious, anxiety about feeling like I should be super excited because we have tickets but I keep panicking... Like you say, a roller coaster of emotions! Lots of good thoughts to you. 

Can totally understand that. I don't know about commenting on stuff like this sometimes, I could maybe offer a bit of advice but there's a decent chance I'm not gonna be able to come out with anything productive or helpful that you haven't thought of a thousand times anyway which I'd hope wouldn't come across as condescending but can understand that it could..

As ever, so easy to say and hard to believe, but in my experience getting lost at Glastonbury can be a great thing. It's massive and there are all sorts of weird little nooks and crannies around the site and I don't care if you've been there 25 times, there'll always be something to discover. Have you done much camping before? 

I get that feeling too, that you should be super excited. I feel like sometimes I should be more appreciative of the chances I get in life and that I'm a horrible ungrateful dickhead for still being depressed in spite of that. Cos things could be worse, even though knowing that never helps anyone. Cheer up, it might never happen. No, fuck off.

6 minutes ago, Quark said:

This and other threads are a great place for people sharing the little tricks and tips they have for dealing with it all.  Obviously it's different strokes for different folks, but you'll find some good ideas on here.

Mine remains the Tiny Tea Tent. I think it's the proper mugs, just normalises everything for 15 mins or so

That's the beauty of the place isn't it? One minute you're in front of the Pyramid with fuck knows how many people, next minute you're in a relatively secluded bit like Woodsies or some of the corners in the Green Fields with an atmosphere so different you may as well be at a different festival.

[clarkete]

2 hours ago, Quark said:

Mine remains the Tiny Tea Tent. I think it's the proper mugs, just normalises everything for 15 mins or so

I was wondering which thread was going to encompass my affection for the TTT as it doesn't really fit with the thread about bars, nor food or the one about favourite non-stage parts of the festival. 

I'm pleased it got mentioned, as I'm sure I must have gone there at least twice a day for the last handful of years.  In my case it sometimes also means I can sober up a bit if I'm doubtful of making it to the end of the day.  They do very nice cake too.

[Crazyfool01]

cheer up it might never happen is one of the worst things to hear .... how the hell does anyone know your personal circumstances ... I am not  a great fan of winter and singleness can be a bit of a pain in a world where everyone seems to be couples ... and I have a few friends in their 40s who struggle with this .... anyway I do find exercise helps me .. and putting on weight definitely doesn't ... thats me  

[Mr.Tease]

5 hours ago, RichardWaller said:

Aye, so easy to say. Been telling myself to pull myself together for the last 20 years, constantly reminding myself that things could be worse etc but when has that ever helped anyone? If you could just decide yep, I'm gonna be fine, there'd be no such thing as depression. I'm sceptical too and that's a classic chicken and egg thing really, isn't it? Is my sceptism a contributor to or symptom of depression.. As far as my brain is concerned, CBT is all about lying to myself. Course I'm well aware of all the lies and tricks my depressed brain plays on me too, can you fight fire with fire? As far as meds go, I just think it's a bit fucked how much in common there is between possible side effects of the meds and possible symptoms of depression. Some of the symptoms I wish I did have! Supressed appetite, that'd be a good one for me. But can also increase your appetite too... I just found meds frustrating, to this day I have no idea whether I've actually benefited from them at all at any time. If I felt less shit for a bit I had no idea whether it was cos of the meds or any other external factor, maybe it was having a few gigs lined up I was looking forward to, getting into a new relationship or new job, or it could've just been coming into spring - whatever. 

I went to something like this a few months ago Letting Go Of Anxiety, Not in New York mind, just here in Manchester. It was out of my comfort zone, I did have my preconceptions and it can be hard to leave them at the door. I did struggle to take it seriously, felt like it was a kinda abstract way of stating the obvious, may as well just sat there fo a couple of hours telling me not to worry about this, this, that. Anyway, not in any position to rule anything out, if anything works for anyone, good for them.

 

I like how Neil Young described that in a song "just because my problems are meaningless, that don't make them go away" or something. 

I'm not a fan of CBT for much the same reasons, though I know it fits some people well and they get a lot out of it. Have you tried person centred counselling? (I'm a bit biased as I'm a person centred Counsellor!), I like it as it accepts how you feel is how you feel and rather than denying it or trying to get you to stop 'thinking' that way, it's more about accepting it, sitting with it, exploring it and working through it rather than changing your mentality or getting you to do stuff. 

So the way I personally look on depression is, it's basically like a physical wound or ailment. So if you were struggling to walk and in pain, you'd sit down fathom out where it's hurting, take alook- you might reveal a wound where you'd been shot a while back that was still bleeding, you'd attend to it, find out what happened, see what it needs doing, carefully tend to it, take good care of yourself while checking that it's healing, etc etc. For me when people say 'think positive' it's as useless as it would be in that situation! You wouldn't tell someone with a bullet wound to try not to think about it! 

I hate being depressed, but at the same time I sometimes try to figure out what my depression is trying to tell me (even though it's doing it in a really shit way)- what's wrong in my life, what's causing the hurt, what unmet needs do I have that aren't getting met. It's really hard when you don't know what exactly is at the root of it and I think sometimes I can then just turn on myself rather than being supportive or curious. For me the worst bit about depression is that feeling of stuckness, and that it drains my desire to do anything and my hope that anything will help or change. It's a real trap and that's what I struggle with most. 

It's even harder when you can't find anything that helps, but at the same time it's sounds like you have a very good knowledge of what doesn't help you. 

[Mr.Tease]

2 hours ago, crazyfool1 said:

cheer up it might never happen is one of the worst things to hear .... 

Yep! About the only use that's ever been to me is when it triggers an angry response, which allows me to vent some of my anger that I may otherwise have been directing to myself! 

(Some schools of thought see depression as anger turned inward, so in some circumstances externalising it can actually trigger a bit of a fight back!) 

[RichardWaller]

3 hours ago, Mr.Tease said:

I like how Neil Young described that in a song "just because my problems are meaningless, that don't make them go away" or something. 

I'm not a fan of CBT for much the same reasons, though I know it fits some people well and they get a lot out of it. Have you tried person centred counselling? (I'm a bit biased as I'm a person centred Counsellor!), I like it as it accepts how you feel is how you feel and rather than denying it or trying to get you to stop 'thinking' that way, it's more about accepting it, sitting with it, exploring it and working through it rather than changing your mentality or getting you to do stuff. 

So the way I personally look on depression is, it's basically like a physical wound or ailment. So if you were struggling to walk and in pain, you'd sit down fathom out where it's hurting, take alook- you might reveal a wound where you'd been shot a while back that was still bleeding, you'd attend to it, find out what happened, see what it needs doing, carefully tend to it, take good care of yourself while checking that it's healing, etc etc. For me when people say 'think positive' it's as useless as it would be in that situation! You wouldn't tell someone with a bullet wound to try not to think about it! 

I hate being depressed, but at the same time I sometimes try to figure out what my depression is trying to tell me (even though it's doing it in a really shit way)- what's wrong in my life, what's causing the hurt, what unmet needs do I have that aren't getting met. It's really hard when you don't know what exactly is at the root of it and I think sometimes I can then just turn on myself rather than being supportive or curious. For me the worst bit about depression is that feeling of stuckness, and that it drains my desire to do anything and my hope that anything will help or change. It's a real trap and that's what I struggle with most. 

It's even harder when you can't find anything that helps, but at the same time it's sounds like you have a very good knowledge of what doesn't help you. 

Not really a Neil Young fan but admire that sentiment.

Yeah, that sounds reasonable to me. Unfortunately I and my depression aren’t exactly reasonable. Too many people who don’t see it like that though, if you can’t see it it’s not there eh? Course depression can be debilitating, it’s just disappointing how often people are so lacking in understanding. Maybe that’s the wrong word, half the time I don’t even understand my own depression myself so can’t expect anyone else to but at least recognising that it’s ok to not be ok and that some people do need support where others don’t would be progress.

I wish I could afford person centred counselling! Last time I had any kind of counselling was at Uni about 8 years ago before I dropped out cos I couldn’t face it. 

I watched this video a while back and it really resonated with me for its simplicity and the rawness that he delivered it in. 

 

That pretty much sums up my idea of depression, and I know we’ve all got different ideas and experiences and ways to handle it. My way is to drink and eat too much, I know it’s not remotely helpful, it’s just self-sabotage. But to me, depression is feeling like shit and not knowing why. And isn’t that just a load of shit? If you can’t pinpoint what’s making you feel this way, where do you even start?