Overheard funnies

[K2SO]

I caught one line of a conversation between 2 girls during Stormzy; "He did have a massive willy though"

[Avalon_Fields]

From a crew worker: 

'My ferret killed Liam Howlett's rabbit'

(Turned out to be true)

[fightoffyour]

On 23/06/2017 at 1:36 PM, pie_and_a_pint said:

I've just seen a bloke wearing a tshirt that says:

SURELY NOT EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING?

AHAHAH that might have been my mate 

[fightoffyour]

On 23/06/2017 at 1:36 PM, pie_and_a_pint said:

I've just seen a bloke wearing a tshirt that says:

SURELY NOT EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING?

AHAHAH that might have been my mate 

[nikkic]

On 24/06/2017 at 11:00 AM, GrumpyRaver said:

I wristbanded more people from Liverpool than anywhere else on Wednesday. And a security guard at gate told me on shift this morning that the vast majority of people trying to get in on fake tickets and wristbands are scousers too...

Shocker!

[Doug85]

Heard some Welsh lads sat by me yesterday- one of them asked the other if he had read his text he had sent him, the others response:

"yes you c*nt it took me fucking ages to read it and I got lost in the middle of shangri la talking to a fucking pirate for ten minutes....what did your text want anyway"!

"nothing just wanted to piss you off" 

[tjamest]

Passing the liquid bar in Silver Hays - "What's that? the 11 quid bar!"

[swampy]

Girlfriend to boyfriend, have fun watching your shit band's

[K2SO]

15 minutes ago, tjamest said:

Passing the liquid bar in Silver Hays - "What's that? the 11 quid bar!"

That may well have been my girlfriend! Was it on Sunday after Slaves? Haha!

[idb]

On 23/06/2017 at 10:15 AM, chazwwe said:

'So what and where is the pyamid stage' - bottom of Kidney Mead. 

Last night someone asked where the Pyramid Stage was when walking by The Beat Hotel. Still don't know if they were taking the piss. 

[HoTWire]

Passing by Glass Animals, guy going the other way said to his mate:

"It's not the sort of music you'd buy"

[guitarbhoy1888]

In the tipi fields at an open mic bout 1am Friday when an Irish guy starts pouring his heart out about a song he's written about his hometown and how dodgy it is etc etc. He starts off ok but about 40 seconds in, drops the guitar apologises and tells us he's no chance of finishing because the mushrooms had kicked in. 

[dannybrothers]

Heard while waiting for Birdy to start ... "I'm still deaf from that Busted gig"...something I never thought I'd hear at Glasto!

Also the usual one liners from Will Varley, none of which I can remember now!

[Woffy]

My friend broke her thumb spannering over a guy rope. 

Spent Thursday night at the medical centre. 

Me, to the girl sat next to me in the waiting area, "What're you in for?"

"I've got glitter in my eye"

 

I knew that bloody stuff was lethal. 

[rubenz]

Bloke chatting to his mate while passing my tent discussing the virtues of a female acquaintance..

"She's the sort of girl that if some guy put a gram of coke in front of her and said this is yours if you suck me off, she would probably do it!"

[Pandas]

Not really overheard as it was my conversation, but; My daughter and I were in the JP Tent watching King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard.  During a particularly long song with what seemed like an improvised section in the middle, she turned to me and said, "I know this song", to which I replied, "I know, its because the same song that they have been playing for the last 10 minutes".  We both laughed and carried on with the communal hand nodding.

Great day.

[The Red Telephone]

Craig David "Oh man, this is unreal!"

Person behind me to his friend "Isn't he, like, 44 or something?"

[Titters]

"And we found him passed out, only half in his tent, naked from the waste down"

 

Someone went big on Thursday. 

[crocodiles]

25 minutes ago, The Red Telephone said:

Craig David "Oh man, this is unreal!"

Person behind me to his friend "Isn't he, like, 44 or something?"

Imagine being that old ..... I wish I still was 

[prestonmike]

overheard a guy behind me in Avalon Inn shout to his mates 'guys, my legs wont do what my brain wants them to!' then about 5 seconds later he fell to the floor while trying to walk away from the bar

[AbiC]

At Radiohead, a guy next to us:  'Dave Grohl is going to have to up his game with all this banter from Thom' 

[AbiC]

Me offering lip salve at Arcadia last night

 Friend: 'Fuck off what's that argh' 

turns out she thought I was trying to put Vicks up her nose. 

[budvar]

Two girls in front of us at the bus station today: "I just want to get home and catch up on Love Island."

[pie_and_a_pint]

At the bottom of the Kidz Field, worryingly close to the long drops:

Martha?

MARTHA!!

There's a squidgy one here if you want it!

 

[pie_and_a_pint]

Also, a couple of Overseens:

These terrifying leggings on a young lady at Chic:

Edited June 27, 2017 by pie_and_a_pint