Overheard funnies

[MrPink]

10 hours ago, semmtexx said:

To be fair if you listen with your eyes closed its sometimes pretty tricky to tell! 

Indeed. Indian is just fast Welsh. Knew a guy who had an Indian mother and Welsh father, it's uncanny how similar they sound. 

[hfuhruhurr]

As a Welshman, I have to protest - Indians don't fucking swear half as fucking much as we fucking do.

[cammie81]

40 minutes ago, hfuhruhurr said:

As a Welshman, I have to protest - Indians don't fucking swear half as fucking much as we fucking do.

Unless you consider "don't have a cow" a swear.

[Thunderstruck]

15 hours ago, Aiden said:

Walking down the old railway on Friday night there was a group of girls behind us and one says to her mates "did you know that it's a fact that the welsh accent is 90% Indian?"

Me and my friend had different reactions, while I was pissing myself laughing he felt compelled to turn around and ask her where the fuck she'd heard that.

Whenever I try to do a welsh accent it end up Indian.

[stuartbert two hats]

2 hours ago, Thunderstruck said:

Whenever I try to do a welsh accent it end up Indian.

Whenever I try to do any accents, they eventually end up Indian.

[JAlexander191]

On 7/9/2017 at 10:46 PM, Aiden said:

Walking down the old railway on Friday night there was a group of girls behind us and one says to her mates "did you know that it's a fact that the welsh accent is 90% Indian?"

Me and my friend had different reactions, while I was pissing myself laughing he felt compelled to turn around and ask her where the fuck she'd heard that.

Must be true. Used to work in a call centre and during that time at least three customers said they couldn't understand my Indian accent and would like to speak to someone English.

[FestivalNewbie7]

Little kid runs straight into me whilst walking past the Other Stage. His parent:

 

"AVALON!! Come here!!"

 

[phillyfaddle]

4 hours ago, JAlexander191 said:

Must be true. Used to work in a call centre and during that time at least three customers said they couldn't understand my Indian accent and would like to speak to someone English.

Was the call centre in Wales ?

Actually, that was a stupid question. No one in Wales would ever ask to speak to someone English.....

[JAlexander191]

6 hours ago, phillyfaddle said:

Was the call centre in Wales ?

Actually, that was a stupid question. No one in Wales would ever ask to speak to someone English.....

All of the customer's that said that were English! If I remember correctly they were all of the Posh variety too. As far as i'm aware I don't even sound that Welsh too!

[mashedonmud]

My mate giving out directions to somebody slightly more wasted than us   "The Old Fuckin Railway LIne, The only STRAIGHT thing in Glastonbury"

Have decided to get some shirts printed with this quote.

[The Clearest Blue]

'The only thing I can think of is that it's a massive fucking hint that the secretary is going to be Real Big Fish' heard at the Other stage

[DareToDibble]

I had been drinking far too early one day and my friend asked to go on my shoulders for a George Ezra song. Didn't trust myself not to faceplant her the minute she got on so I asked a randomer to pull me up, which he kindly did.

Before then saying in my ear "You need to get to the gym, mate"  to which someone else replied "Or rehab". Didn't really help that it tickled me so much my friend was worried I was going to drop her through laughter and started requesting from above "Please don't drop me!" This did not help.

[ivan]

8 minutes ago, DareToDibble said:

I had been drinking far too early one day and my friend asked to go on my shoulders for a George Ezra song. Didn't trust myself not to faceplant her the minute she got on so I asked a randomer to pull me up, which he kindly did.

Before then saying in my ear "You need to get to the gym, mate"  to which someone else replied "Or rehab". Didn't really help that it tickled me so much my friend was worried I was going to drop her through laughter and started requesting from above "Please don't drop me!" This did not help.

Maybe your mate needs to lose weight ! 

Be comfortable with your own fitness and drinking habits !!!!

[verrymerry]

On 7/11/2017 at 9:23 AM, FestivalNewbie7 said:

Little kid runs straight into me whilst walking past the Other Stage. His parent:

 

"AVALON!! Come here!!"

 

I want to name my first born this but my partner won't let me  Probably for the best!

[carlhunt3r]

In the Fish Finger Heaven (https://twitter.com/fingerbutties) queue, next to Circus tent..,

"Oh... Fish Finger Heaven... look at that huge queue... must be full of northerners...!"

I'm from Sunderland. 

Edited July 15, 2017 by carlhunt3r

[FuzzyDunlop]

On 7/11/2017 at 9:23 AM, FestivalNewbie7 said:

Little kid runs straight into me whilst walking past the Other Stage. His parent:

 

"AVALON!! Come here!!"

 

My mate put Avalon as his girl's middle name.

Im trying to get another mate to call his Block 9 or John Peel

Edited July 15, 2017 by FuzzyDunlop

[stuartbert two hats]

9 hours ago, FuzzyDunlop said:

My mate put Avalon as his girl's middle name.

Im trying to get another mate to call his Block 9 or John Peel

I'm going to name my second kid "Other Child"

[ivan]

9 hours ago, carlhunt3r said:

In the Fish Finger Heaven (https://twitter.com/fingerbutties) queue, next to Circus tent..,

"Oh... Fish Finger Heaven... look at that huge queue... must be full of northerners...!"

I'm from Sunderland. 

That reminds me of years ago.

At The Other Stage I bought one of those filled Yorkshire Puddings , there was a delay so the guy made chit chat .  On finding out I actually was from Yorkshire he commented " Your the first person from Yorkshire we have served a Yorkshire Pudding to " It made him smile and made his day !!!

[Crazyfool01]

how about our kid ia ?

[Penrhos]

I dare you to give them a middle name of "Longdrop"

[stuartbert two hats]

37 minutes ago, Penrhos said:

I dare you to give them a middle name of "Longdrop"

Lily Longdrop Lonsdale has a nice ring to it. Pity that's not my name.

[pauladam]

Any kids called Monorail .....no? Thought not

[SteveTLizard]

I'm not trusted enough with first names, our daughters second name is Avalon though. 

My son should have been Hendrix but I had to make do with Dylan Mani. Still there's always the old deed poll thing thing when Mr Lizard's not watching I suppose. 

[Chicken Bob]

Was sitting above the park on the Wednesday night some guy said. "I have to get my Christmas tree lights out the loft once a year and untangle them. It's a right pain in the arse. Imagine how Micheal Eavis feels when he has to get all these lights out the barn once a year and untangle them. It must take him ages"

[Tommy101]

A couple of people in my camp had me howling with laughter explaining how they attempted to get their contraband in this year. They are trying to be more inventive in case security searches were more stringent. 

The girl who came down with one chap went into great detail about how they tried to hide things in the bottom of the pringles can, only to accidentally take too many out, not being able to get them back in and eventually trying to sellotape baggies to individual pringles whilst sat in a service station car park dripping with sweat. They then went for a plan B and tried to reseal a pot noodle type thing with superglue. The superglue didn't have a pin to open the tube so they ended up using and breaking the only pair of earrings the girl had, eventually got it open and resealed but accidentally left fingerprints of glue and pringle dust on the inside of the package making it look ridiculously suspect.

This tale went on for the best part of 20 mins, getting more and more desperate whilst the two were getting more and more wound up with each other in the heat, covered in remnants of hyperbolic paraboloid potato snacks.

The conversation then went on to another in the group who came down separately. After being asked of his method he only used two words that had the impact of many; 'natures pocket'. It became a euphemism for anything remotely bum related for the rest of the weekend. He later shared that he stashed stuff away before he left home on a long old drive to the site (3 hours or so). So next year he might wait until a little bit closer to the site.