Overheard funnies

[SteveTLizard]

On 17/07/2017 at 1:04 PM, SteveTLizard said:

I'm not trusted enough with first names, our daughters second name is Avalon though. 

My son should have been Hendrix but I had to make do with Dylan Mani. Still there's always the old deed poll thing thing when Mrs Lizard's not watching I suppose. 

 

[paulshane]

2 hours ago, Tommy101 said:

 'natures pocket'

[popcornmaster]

3 hours ago, Tommy101 said:

A couple of people in my camp had me howling with laughter explaining how they attempted to get their contraband in this year. They are trying to be more inventive in case security searches were more stringent. 

The girl who came down with one chap went into great detail about how they tried to hide things in the bottom of the pringles can, only to accidentally take too many out, not being able to get them back in and eventually trying to sellotape baggies to individual pringles whilst sat in a service station car park dripping with sweat. They then went for a plan B and tried to reseal a pot noodle type thing with superglue. The superglue didn't have a pin to open the tube so they ended up using and breaking the only pair of earrings the girl had, eventually got it open and resealed but accidentally left fingerprints of glue and pringle dust on the inside of the package making it look ridiculously suspect.

This tale went on for the best part of 20 mins, getting more and more desperate whilst the two were getting more and more wound up with each other in the heat, covered in remnants of hyperbolic paraboloid potato snacks.

The conversation then went on to another in the group who came down separately. After being asked of his method he only used two words that had the impact of many; 'natures pocket'. It became a euphemism for anything remotely bum related for the rest of the weekend. He later shared that he stashed stuff away before he left home on a long old drive to the site (3 hours or so). So next year he might wait until a little bit closer to the site.

'Prison pocket' was the chosen term for it in our camp. Thankfully none of us needed to use it this year. 3 hours in the prison pocket sounds pretty bleak :/

[pauladam]

23 minutes ago, popcornmaster said:

'Prison pocket' was the chosen term for it in our camp. Thankfully none of us needed to use it this year. 3 hours in the prison pocket sounds pretty bleak :/

Anyone after some "brown"

No ta!

[verrymerry]

The funniest bit about all this stashing is I bet most people just walked straight in! 

[Penrhos]

31 minutes ago, verrymerry said:

The funniest bit about all this stashing is I bet most people just walked straight in! 

I bet you couldn't find any kinder eggs for miles from Glastonbury.....Be interesting to see their sales figures from when "Extra security" was announced and the festival.

[verrymerry]

1 hour ago, Penrhos said:

I bet you couldn't find any kinder eggs for miles from Glastonbury.....Be interesting to see their sales figures from when "Extra security" was announced and the festival.

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

We were by a group of scousers at Liam, they were lovely blokes and were sharing out their drugs and alcohol to everyone around. I politely refused the drugs as they still had them stored in a Kinder egg.

[alanr]

17 hours ago, pauladam said:

Anyone after some "brown"

No ta!

 

[shuttlep]

19 hours ago, verrymerry said:

The funniest bit about all this stashing is I bet most people just walked straight in! 

yes that got me annoyed, queued for hours in heat which nearly killed me. with a  first timer. I am telling him it's not normally like this. they are searching everyone, this is why we are stood baking to death.

 

only to walk straight in no search, I nearly marched straight back and demanded a pat down.

 

then I realised actually just fucking run you are in 

[DareToDibble]

7 hours ago, shuttlep said:

yes that got me annoyed, queued for hours in heat which nearly killed me. with a  first timer. I am telling him it's not normally like this. they are searching everyone, this is why we are stood baking to death.

 

only to walk straight in no search, I nearly marched straight back and demanded a pat down.

 

then I realised actually just fucking run you are in 

I was in the queue for Gate A about 6am. I had spent the time telling my friend (first timer) that it'll take ages but it would all be worth it. The 2 of us had also gone to great lengths to hide drugs. 

I've honestly never gotten in quicker. They just patted the side of my bag and let me march straight in. Camp was all set up by like 8:15. Madness.

Then I had to go through the effort of getting my drugs out of my roll on... all of which wasn't bloody needed anyway!!

[verrymerry]

I didn't even get a pat down, I don't even think there were security at the checking tables.  Probably wayyy too hot though as it was just past midday

[lebenski]

wasted mate 3 songs in during Radiohead "Is that SERIOUSLY their last song?"

[amfy]

I once hid my stash somewhere in the middle of my duvet, which was squeezed & tied into a bin bag - which wasn’t the most imaginative place, but I’d never been searched going into Glastonbury in many years of attending so I wasn’t worried...

....but this was the year that I’d asked a black friend to braid my hair, and she’d really gone for it with extensions and I had ended up with waist length loose flowing braids & looked like a white female Bob Marley, and my partner had shaved his head but missed a bit so he had a kind of Mohican.....so of course we got stopped!

So I offered my rucksack and said ‘please don’t unravel my duvet from that bin liner - I’ll never get it back in!’

......& they just said ‘OK’ & left it!

[LoraMaze]

15 minutes ago, amfy said:

I once hid my stash somewhere in the middle of my duvet, which was squeezed & tied into a bin bag - which wasn’t the most imaginative place, but I’d never been searched going into Glastonbury in many years of attending so I wasn’t worried...

....but this was the year that I’d asked a black friend to braid my hair, and she’d really gone for it with extensions and I had ended up with waist length loose flowing braids & looked like a white female Bob Marley, and my partner had shaved his head but missed a bit so he had a kind of Mohican.....so of course we got stopped!

So I offered my rucksack and said ‘please don’t unravel my duvet from that bin liner - I’ll never get it back in!’

......& they just said ‘OK’ & left it!

I’ve had someone open my bag, then open my makeup bag within, stare at a brown bag full of mushies and other goodies, and then just closed it all up and let me go! 🤣

That was at Reading though. I’ve never been searched going in to Glasto. My mate Dave the Rave always gets stopped as he looks minced all the time as standard!!

[bennyboi]

Laying in my bag, probably 7am-ish I heard someone shout very loudly, in an immaculate American accident “Yeah! And then I'm gonna shit on these walls, Ray!” 

Very obscure movie reference but it had me and a few other chuckling in our tents