Respect the Females (and other rules)

[MetaKate]

1 minute ago, H.M.V said:

I would have thought grabbing a guys penis that was stuck in your back would have also been construed as a sexual act in favour of the penis thruster. Like why would a woman want to touch a penis being thrusted into their back? This is the fundamental difference in views. Why is this always so hard to hear. 

Exactly. I dont want to have to be grabbing any strange penis anytime. That's probably what he wanted TBH. 

[Tranquility of Solitude]

1 hour ago, zico martin said:

This is the thing, I'd love to know who else is in this gang as I walk around the farm, perhaps Neil should arrange t-shirts with user names on

The t shirts are a great idea .  Perhaps avatars as well. . I for one would pay, and if there was enough demand it might make a bit of cash for the site  @eFestivals @Kizzie ?

[ivan]

Don’t climb the flag poles in Jazz World 

 

[HalfAnIdiot]

Lots of anger bubbling up again sadly. I do think this is, at least in part, due to the medium.

Back to the subject for a moment. Abuse of women at gigs is a big issue that needs to be aired and stopped. There have been some high profile cases and some great reactions from bands calling people out for this behaviour but I sincerely think this is just scratching the surface. More needs to be done and frankly it is up to 'us' to fix things. 

Please keep an eye out for unacceptable (and illegal) behaviour towards women call it out and stop it.

I speak as a middle aged man with two teenage daughters who will be out and about on their own and with friends at the festival, so yes I have some self interest. I've also been sexually harassed by a woman many years ago, it was really rattled me and I'm 6ft 3in, I can only imagine what it feels like to be abused as a woman, respect to you all. 

[H.M.V]

3 minutes ago, Tranquility of Solitude said:

The t shirts are a great idea .  Perhaps avatars as well. . I for one would pay, and if there was enough demand it might make a bit of cash for the site  @eFestivals @Kizzie ?

Yes, I for one want to join the nerdy gang following an upturned hand quacker. 

It's really not that hard to spot certain efesters regardless of whether or not they wear outrageous dress up costumes. 

[H.M.V]

1 minute ago, HalfAnIdiot said:

Lots of anger bubbling up again sadly. I do think this is, at least in part, due to the medium.

Back to the subject for a moment. Abuse of women at gigs is a big issue that needs to be aired and stopped. There have been some high profile cases and some great reactions from bands calling people out for this behaviour but I sincerely think this is just scratching the surface. More needs to be done and frankly it is up to 'us' to fix things. 

Please keep an eye out for unacceptable (and illegal) behaviour towards women call it out and stop it.

I speak as a middle aged man with two teenage daughters who will be out and about on their own and with friends at the festival, so yes I have some self interest. I've also been sexually harassed by a woman many years ago, it was really rattled me and I'm 6ft 3in, I can only imagine what it feels like to be abused as a woman, respect to you all. 

I wouldn't say anger exactly. I and I'm sure others come here for some light hearted respite. It's more exasperation in my case that a lot of my pals and others that I like a lot persist in this jibe about the van and despite being so right on and sound in lots of ways don't seem to get how inappropriate this comes across to the women on the site. So for ultra long sentence. I know how much grammar is respected around here. 

[Crazyfool01]

ok I'm going to the efest meet undercover now my fancy dress gives me away 

Edited October 23, 2018 by crazyfool1
missed out an e on efest

[MetaKate]

6 minutes ago, HalfAnIdiot said:

Lots of anger bubbling up again sadly. I do think this is, at least in part, due to the medium.

Back to the subject for a moment. Abuse of women at gigs is a big issue that needs to be aired and stopped. There have been some high profile cases and some great reactions from bands calling people out for this behaviour but I sincerely think this is just scratching the surface. More needs to be done and frankly it is up to 'us' to fix things. 

Please keep an eye out for unacceptable (and illegal) behaviour towards women call it out and stop it.

I speak as a middle aged man with two teenage daughters who will be out and about on their own and with friends at the festival, so yes I have some self interest. I've also been sexually harassed by a woman many years ago, it was really rattled me and I'm 6ft 3in, I can only imagine what it feels like to be abused as a woman, respect to you all. 

No anger on my part, just hoping to offer my perspective and experience. 

And honestly I feel safer at Glastonbury, Festivals and Gigs in general, than I do in most of the world, because I know most of the people there are good people ?

[guypjfreak]

12 minutes ago, MetaKate said:

Oh theres disrespect everywhere, on all sides! There are some real assholes out there. 

But the difference is outlined in your post.. where you can have words with another bloke who is disrespectful to you, I couldnt have just grabbed this guys penis. He was about 6'5" and could have seriously injured me, and even after my friend (small guy) telling him to fuck off, he didnt, and it resulted in us having to leave the venue. We even tried moving to a different location in the venue and he followed. 

Respect on all sides is the way forward... unfortunately its the shitheads yelling at people in wheelchairs or the ones poking their peckers into people that need to change. 

That's the truth.... MetaKate 

Blister pack old son you could just have put it different yea... Soz about your wife 

H.M.V girl it's not because of baby Eliza it goes deeper but...... But done...... Just for you xx 

Peace and tea one and all... G

 

 

[Tranquility of Solitude]

5 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

ok I'm going to the efest meet undercover now my fancy dress gives me away 

I've got a Shaun the Sheep t-shirt and will be wearing it on the Thursday. You're all to come up and say hi if you spot me!

[Crazyfool01]

Just now, Tranquility of Solitude said:

I've got a Shaun the Sheep t-shirt and will be wearing it on the Thursday. You're all to come up and say hi if you spot me!

think you might spot me first in the "outrageous" fancy dress   

[H.M.V]

I'll have hair and be the drunk Irish sweary one. Attire weather dependant. 

[H.M.V]

Just now, crazyfool1 said:

think you might spot me first in the "outrageous" fancy dress   

Best part of Glasto is the outrageous fancy dress. I couldn't sew a button so always admire the imagination.  

[HalfAnIdiot]

To lighten the mood. The 'and other rules' bit: No enormous hats when watching bands. I've already said I'm 6ft 3" yet I 'always' seem to end up with an enormous hat blocking my view several times in the day.

Ban the hat!

I realise I may not get full support on this given the number of forum members that have a strong liking for hats ?

[kalifire]

Whilst I vehemently disagree with them, I can appreciate how some men can feel about this subject. Attitudes and behaviour which have been the norm, have largely gone unchallenged and even justified as ‘lad culture’ or ‘locker room talk’. It’s never been acceptable but because it’s existed in lots of forms across culture, and toleration of it has become internalised by many women, it’s come with an illusion of justification.  

Now casual misogyny and outright disrespect against women is being rightly called out, some men feel affronted and even powerless. They’re perpetrators in a debate that is being delivered right to their doorstep. 

You sometimes hear some men saying things like ‘but I would never’, and acting exasperated that their own relationship with women is being questioned, as if they’re being lumped in with the more vile offenders they share little in common with, let alone misogyny. 

To those men, I would say: it isn’t about you. Although it can seem natural to reel defensively when your gender associates you with accusations that don’t seem to fit, what we’re talking about here is systemic. It’s about cultural standards and norms that many of us as guilty of perpetuating, even if only by omission. Although I would never dream of knowingly disrespecting women, I know I bear some responsibility by being around others who have and keeping my mouth shut. Many of us have been in that locker room and said nothing. 

If it all seems too much, I get it. There’s a lot of anger surrounding this, steadily boiling over many years until very recent events like Trump’s pussy grab tape, Weinstein’s story of standardised abuse, etc. caused it to explode and many people to say ‘enough of this shit’. 

While it’s temptimg to lash out and defend how righteous our own behaviour might be, I think the correct attitude is to listen, to try and understand, and to check our own behaviours. Women have had to endure putting up with repugnant attitudes of sexual ‘fair game’ and abuse for decades. Acting in self-defence and getting irritated by those who’ve had to put up with it is just another part of the problem. 

As far as Glastonbury goes, I can’t think of a better place to talk about this, a safer place for people to speak up, or a more supportive place - both for those on the receiving end of this or those who’re starting to realise their place in it all. 

Sorry to go on. 

[Crazyfool01]

4 minutes ago, HalfAnIdiot said:

To lighten the mood. The 'and other rules' bit: No enormous hats when watching bands. I've already said I'm 6ft 3" yet I 'always' seem to end up with an enormous hat blocking my view several times in the day.

Ban the hat!

I realise I may not get full support on this given the number of forum members that have a strong liking for hats ?

so my ribbon tower or pyramid stage hat might not go down so well  I do always make sure im an early arrival and tend to stand further back ... if I block your view please let me know  

[H.M.V]

3 minutes ago, kalifire said:

Whilst I vehemently disagree with them, I can appreciate how some men can feel about this subject. Attitudes and behaviour which have been the norm, have largely gone unchallenged and even justified as ‘lad culture’ or ‘locker room talk’. It’s never been acceptable but because it’s existed in lots of forms across culture, and toleration of it has become internalised by many women, it’s come with an illusion of justification.  

Now casual misogyny and outright disrespect against women is being rightly called out, some men feel affronted and even powerless. They’re perpetrators in a debate that is being delivered right to their doorstep. 

You sometimes hear some men saying things like ‘but I would never’, and acting exasperated that their own relationship with women is being questioned, as if they’re being lumped in with the more vile offenders they share little in common with, let alone misogyny. 

To those men, I would say: it isn’t about you. Although it can seem natural to reel defensively when your gender associates you with accusations that don’t seem to fit, what we’re talking about here is systemic. It’s about cultural standards and norms that many of us as guilty of perpetuating, even if only by omission. Although I would never dream of knowingly disrespecting women, I know I bear some responsibility by being around others who have and keeping my mouth shut. Many of us have been in that locker room and said nothing. 

If it all seems too much, I get it. There’s a lot of anger surrounding this, steadily boiling over many years until very recent events like Trump’s pussy grab tape, Weinstein’s story of standardised abuse, etc. caused it to explode and many people to say ‘enough of this shit’. 

While it’s temptimg to lash out and defend how righteous our own behaviour might be, I think the correct attitude is to listen, to try and understand, and to check our own behaviours. Women have had to endure putting up with repugnant attitudes of sexual ‘fair game’ and abuse for decades. Acting in self-defence and getting irritated by those who’ve had to put up with it is just another part of the problem. 

As far as Glastonbury goes, I can’t think of a better place to talk about this, a safer place for people to speak up, or a more supportive place - both for those on the receiving end of this or those who’re starting to realise their place in it all. 

Sorry to go on. 

The Irony ( I hope I can be thick sometimes)

Is that it took a mans post to bring up this debate despite my having mentioned my discomfort previously and I know 100% other posters have as well. It was ignored. 

Thank you Kali for getting it. Isn't it such a shame you have to explain it for us. And I mean that respectfully to you. 

[stuartbert two hats]

9 minutes ago, HalfAnIdiot said:

To lighten the mood. The 'and other rules' bit: No enormous hats when watching bands. I've already said I'm 6ft 3" yet I 'always' seem to end up with an enormous hat blocking my view several times in the day.

Ban the hat!

I realise I may not get full support on this given the number of forum members that have a strong liking for hats ?

A pair of hats is not something I would wear when someone is watching a and behind me!

[HalfAnIdiot]

2 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

so my ribbon tower or pyramid stage hat might not go down so well  I do always make sure im an early arrival and tend to stand further back ... if I block your view please let me know  

I'd probably have to forgive you as you do put so much effort in to your creations. 

(Damn, there I go again compromising my principles) ?

[H.M.V]

11 minutes ago, HalfAnIdiot said:

To lighten the mood. The 'and other rules' bit: No enormous hats when watching bands. I've already said I'm 6ft 3" yet I 'always' seem to end up with an enormous hat blocking my view several times in the day.

Ban the hat!

I realise I may not get full support on this given the number of forum members that have a strong liking for hats ?

I'd like if tall people especially with hats wouldn't stand in front of me at the last minute before a gig. I get it, you're tall you can't help it. But I'm 5'2 and get to a gig a bit early so I can then start manoeuvring around according to height. Get myself a sweet spot then boom gig starts Mr 7 foot dude and his friends are a blockade to much my fought and thought out view. 

[HalfAnIdiot]

4 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

A pair of hats is not something I would wear when someone is watching a and behind me!

I'm sure you wouldn't. But where do you put them all?

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

5 minutes ago, kalifire said:

Whilst I vehemently disagree with them, I can appreciate how some men can feel about this subject. Attitudes and behaviour which have been the norm, have largely gone unchallenged and even justified as ‘lad culture’ or ‘locker room talk’. It’s never been acceptable but because it’s existed in lots of forms across culture, and toleration of it has become internalised by many women, it’s come with an illusion of justification.  

Now casual misogyny and outright disrespect against women is being rightly called out, some men feel affronted and even powerless. They’re perpetrators in a debate that is being delivered right to their doorstep. 

You sometimes hear some men saying things like ‘but I would never’, and acting exasperated that their own relationship with women is being questioned, as if they’re being lumped in with the more vile offenders they share little in common with, let alone misogyny. 

To those men, I would say: it isn’t about you. Although it can seem natural to reel defensively when your gender associates you with accusations that don’t seem to fit, what we’re talking about here is systemic. It’s about cultural standards and norms that many of us as guilty of perpetuating, even if only by omission. Although I would never dream of knowingly disrespecting women, I know I bear some responsibility by being around others who have and keeping my mouth shut. Many of us have been in that locker room and said nothing. 

If it all seems too much, I get it. There’s a lot of anger surrounding this, steadily boiling over many years until very recent events like Trump’s pussy grab tape, Weinstein’s story of standardised abuse, etc. caused it to explode and many people to say ‘enough of this shit’. 

While it’s temptimg to lash out and defend how righteous our own behaviour might be, I think the correct attitude is to listen, to try and understand, and to check our own behaviours. Women have had to endure putting up with repugnant attitudes of sexual ‘fair game’ and abuse for decades. Acting in self-defence and getting irritated by those who’ve had to put up with it is just another part of the problem. 

As far as Glastonbury goes, I can’t think of a better place to talk about this, a safer place for people to speak up, or a more supportive place - both for those on the receiving end of this or those who’re starting to realise their place in it all. 

Sorry to go on. 

Well said kalifire. As H.M.V. has indicated, it's quite ironic that a post from a male has helped create some clarity (for me) on, what appears to be, the female viewpoint on this forum. Your post was a very good catalyst for expression from others. 

I'll be really honest here - I never, in my life, thought, at all, that the 'Phillipa' thing would ever cause upset. I honestly had no idea. I remember going to a manager once and nearly breaking down in front of him saying "your giving me too much work to do". His response was something along the lines of " Why didn't you come to me earlier. If you don't tell me something's wrong, then how am I supposed to know that there is something wrong"?  So, I'm glad that I've read this thread tonight, because it has educated me - somewhat.

 

 

[HalfAnIdiot]

1 minute ago, H.M.V said:

I'd like if tall people especially with hats wouldn't stand in front of me at the last minute before a gig. I get it, you're tall you can't help it. But I'm 5'2 and get to a gig a bit early so I can then start manoeuvring around according to height. Get myself a sweet spot then boom gig starts Mr 7 foot dude and his friends are a blockade to much my fought and thought out view. 

I do try to position myself so that I'm not in anyone's way. It's not easy tho. If it helps I always feel more than a little self conscious that I'm spoiling someones view. But oddly a taller guy (sometime it's a girl) always seems to chose to stand directly in front of me and usually has a hat on!

[H.M.V]

Just now, HalfAnIdiot said:

I do try to position myself so that I'm not in anyone's way. It's not easy tho. If it helps I always feel more than a little self conscious that I'm spoiling someones view. But oddly a taller guy (sometime it's a girl) always seems to chose to stand directly in front of me and usually has a hat on!

It's fine, I have no problem tapping on their shoulder and pointing out I've been there a while and would they mind terribly letting me get in front cos I'm only little.  

[H.M.V]

5 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Well said kalifire. As H.M.V. has indicated, it's quite ironic that a post from a male has helped create some clarity (for me) on, what appears to be, the female viewpoint on this forum. Your post was a very good catalyst for expression from others. 

I'll be really honest here - I never, in my life, thought, at all, that the 'Phillipa' thing would ever cause upset. I honestly had no idea. I remember going to a manager once and nearly breaking down in front of him saying "your giving me too much work to do". His response was something along the lines of " Why didn't you come to me earlier. If you don't tell me something's wrong, then how am I supposed to know that there is something wrong"?  So, I'm glad that I've read this thread tonight, because it has educated me - somewhat.

 

 

Yog, thanks. But your analogy is out somewhat. You need to add another line, 'but I have been telling you, for years..'