If I won the lottery

[Wellyboot]

Tbh 5k would solve a lot of my problems I'd be happy with that 

[Crazyfool01]

https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk

[Hugh Jass]

6 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk

I have something those guys don’t... a good feeling.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

2 hours ago, Hugh Jass said:

£86m tonight.

It’s happening, I can feel it.

Thanks for the reminder, as I'd completely forgotten about it. If I win big, I will buy you nice things.

[morph100]

I won £5 trouble is I have split it 7 ways with my work syndicate 🙂

[Crazyfool01]

1 minute ago, morph100 said:

I won £5 trouble is I have split it 7 ways with my work syndicate 🙂

That’s not gonna last you very long ... perhaps you should have checked the amount you won before legging it to Spain 🇪🇸:) 

[Ayrshire Chris]

On 8/18/2020 at 3:51 PM, Hugh Jass said:

£86m tonight.

It’s happening, I can feel it.

I assume then no one on here managed to scoop the 86m.  Pity, can you imagine rocking up to the farm, knocking the door and handing Michael a 10 or 20 million cheque and ask him to spend it on festival related activities/builds etc, no strings attached

apart from guaranteed tickets for all on here and maybe an exclusive teepee field for us! 

[gigpusher]

1 hour ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

I assume then no one on here managed to scoop the 86m.  Pity, can you imagine rocking up to the farm, knocking the door and handing Michael a 10 or 20 million cheque and ask him to spend it on festival related activities/builds etc, no strings attached

apart from guaranteed tickets for all on here and maybe an exclusive teepee field for us! 

£99 million on Friday!! A crazy amount of money but I would be happy to either get my Pilton house or give a very large donation in exchange for tickets for life. 

Edited August 19, 2020 by gigpusher

[Hugh Jass]

7 minutes ago, stefancraft said:

i won only 50$ in usa lottery at once

That’s lovely for you.

[blutarsky]

22 minutes ago, stefancraft said:

i won only 50$ in usa lottery at once

Can I have a share? 

[Funkyfairy!]

I don;t do any lotteries as I'd be in total turmoil if I won a ton of money, it would be lovely to have some/ just a portion , but I'd literally hate to have millions. I think people would treat you different, . In one mind I;d love to treat everyone who matters to me and change their lives and help out charities that matter , and change peoples lives but I also like my life and its simple ways , and wouldn;t want anyone to look differently at me , It would be such a burden - I'd have to remain anonymous , but then what would happen when I got fed up at work

Oh the dilemnas for something that will never happen to me 🙂

 

[blutarsky]

https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/59172612?utm_source=v1:5bWFDybfWx7C7AGpeagt7mP3PgcqjuqJ&utm_medium=api

Not really close enough though… 

[guypjfreak]

I would tell you 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I once went out with a lady whose dad won a large amount on the pools. However, he did it on Zetters and not Littlewoods. Had he done the later he'd have won a shed load more, apparently. 

Anyway, if I won big on the lottery I'd have an even shorter life expectancy than I currently have - and that might be short enough as it is!

[blutarsky]

I spent £2 on a scratch card the other day. 
Won £2. Reinvested. 
Won £5. Reinvested. 
Won £10. Reinvested. 
Won £4. 
Going to be stuck in this cycle now.. z

[gigpusher]

16 hours ago, blutarsky said:

I spent £2 on a scratch card the other day. 
Won £2. Reinvested. 
Won £5. Reinvested. 
Won £10. Reinvested. 
Won £4. 
Going to be stuck in this cycle now.. z

If you hit the big time it'll be worth it. 

Honestly work has been so relentlessly shit for the past few weeks that dreams of winning the lottery have been sustaining me. 

[Skelts]

17 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Anyway, if I won big on the lottery I'd have an even shorter life expectancy than I currently have - and that might be short enough as it is!

I always tell my Mrs that I'd be found dead in a Las Vegas hotel room within a year of winning big on the lottery.  I 'think' I'm joking when I say that......

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

9 minutes ago, Skelts said:

I always tell my Mrs that I'd be found dead in a Las Vegas hotel room within a year of winning big on the lottery.  I 'think' I'm joking when I say that......

I've never been to Las Vegas and wouldn't really like to go either. I have also had my heavy gambling period in life, and am glad that that is over and done with. If I happened to go to Vegas I'd probably end up with the druggies and winos in the storm tunnels, never to be seen again. 

As an aside, one of my proudest moments (my apologies to those who have read this already a million times) was being barred for life from a casino in Birmingham on my first ever visit there alone. I'd drank 3 bottles of red or so before getting there and then drank about another 2 while there. Anyway, to cut a long story short this resulted in me demanding cocaine be brought to me at the Blackjack table. They didn't like that. Not one bit. Mind you, once I was escorted off the premises, another punter who saw my 'need' came out and declared that he could get me some coke. and he did too. Then I woke up in the morning and there was a hand delivered letter from the casino in my porch telling me, essentially, to 'Fuck off, and stay fucked off'. Best thing ever that, as far as I'm concerned.

[Skelts]

6 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

I've never been to Las Vegas and wouldn't really like to go either. I have also had my heavy gambling period in life, and am glad that that is over and done with. If I happened to go to Vegas I'd probably end up with the druggies and winos in the storm tunnels, never to be seen again. 

As an aside, one of my proudest moments (my apologies to those who have read this already a million times) was being barred for life from a casino in Birmingham on my first ever visit there alone. I'd drank 3 bottles of red or so before getting there and then drank about another 2 while there. Anyway, to cut a long story short this resulted in me demanding cocaine be brought to me at the Blackjack table. They didn't like that. Not one bit. Mind you, once I was escorted off the premises, another punter who saw my 'need' came out and declared that he could get me some coke. and he did too. Then I woke up in the morning and there was a hand delivered letter from the casino in my porch telling me, essentially, to 'Fuck off, and stay fucked off'. Best thing ever that, as far as I'm concerned.

I do like your stories, that's class.  Imagine them not complying with your demand, how rude!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

6 hours ago, Skelts said:

I do like your stories, that's class.  Imagine them not complying with your demand, how rude!

Oh fuck me, I've just had another escapade. I've just been followed for about 16 miles along really small, dark country roads by a copper. On the roof rack of my car was a completely fascinating hand made garden table that I bought off FB Marketplace. I've been watching it for a few weeks now. It started off at £50 (if memory serves me right). anyway, it went down and down until it got to £10 yesterday. I coukld resist no longer so bought it and collected it this evening. However, there were other elements at play. I just couldn't for the life of me get the ratchet straps to work to secure this, far bigger than imagined table, to myt roof bars. i had wanted to put it in the back of the car with the seats down - especially as I was due to pick up an old Victorian 4 panelled door (for free) from another place and somehow tie IT down as well. And then the bastard with the free door didn't answer his door. So I fucked off. And then the fuzz started following me. now it just so happens that mnuch earlier on tionight I'd bought a shed load of speed and 10 2CB's. i hadn't yet taken them out of the car. 

So, I've just had the constabulary on my tail for 16 miles, with a kind of dodgily secured load on the roof bars, and a fair bit of Class A in the glove compartment.

It's actually worse than that, but that's as far as I'm going with this post.

However, now is down time. I now have drink, fags, druggage, and a 'Fuck off and die garden table'. 

And, yet again - we all have this;

 

[blutarsky]

18 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

I've never been to Las Vegas and wouldn't really like to go either. I have also had my heavy gambling period in life, and am glad that that is over and done with. If I happened to go to Vegas I'd probably end up with the druggies and winos in the storm tunnels, never to be seen again. 

As an aside, one of my proudest moments (my apologies to those who have read this already a million times) was being barred for life from a casino in Birmingham on my first ever visit there alone. I'd drank 3 bottles of red or so before getting there and then drank about another 2 while there. Anyway, to cut a long story short this resulted in me demanding cocaine be brought to me at the Blackjack table. They didn't like that. Not one bit. Mind you, once I was escorted off the premises, another punter who saw my 'need' came out and declared that he could get me some coke. and he did too. Then I woke up in the morning and there was a hand delivered letter from the casino in my porch telling me, essentially, to 'Fuck off, and stay fucked off'. Best thing ever that, as far as I'm concerned.

I never imagined Vegas would be for me but then I got the opportunity to spend 10 hours there on a layover between flights and it was fascinating. I would definitely go back. You’ve never seen anything like it. I’d imagine 4-5 days there would be enough for me, but it would be a fun week. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, blutarsky said:

I never imagined Vegas would be for me but then I got the opportunity to spend 10 hours there on a layover between flights and it was fascinating. I would definitely go back. You’ve never seen anything like it. I’d imagine 4-5 days there would be enough for me, but it would be a fun week. 

if I had the same circumstances (a 10 hour stop over there) then no doubt I'd go there to have a peek. However, it's academic as I'm officially persona non grata in the USA. It's no biggie though as I have never harboured a desire to go there. It's the Far East that has captured my heart.

[bamber]

21 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

I've never been to Las Vegas and wouldn't really like to go either. I have also had my heavy gambling period in life, and am glad that that is over and done with. If I happened to go to Vegas I'd probably end up with the druggies and winos in the storm tunnels, never to be seen again. 

As an aside, one of my proudest moments (my apologies to those who have read this already a million times) was being barred for life from a casino in Birmingham on my first ever visit there alone. I'd drank 3 bottles of red or so before getting there and then drank about another 2 while there. Anyway, to cut a long story short this resulted in me demanding cocaine be brought to me at the Blackjack table. They didn't like that. Not one bit. Mind you, once I was escorted off the premises, another punter who saw my 'need' came out and declared that he could get me some coke. and he did too. Then I woke up in the morning and there was a hand delivered letter from the casino in my porch telling me, essentially, to 'Fuck off, and stay fucked off'. Best thing ever that, as far as I'm concerned.

I've been to Vegas once, briefly, but did not gamble. I did however spend a week once in Atlantic City, New Jersey, the original gambling centre in the USA, again no money was spent in the casinos, however I did go skating on some brick banks deep in the outskirts there, in the projects, with the guys from Skull Skates circa 1989, transported there in their Black Trans Am. The Police turned up and strongly recommended we we got the hell out of there pronto. We stayed as long as we dared. I took a load of photos, or so I thought, but the film did not catch on the spool so nothing ever got recorded. Remember film?

Anyway, it is one of my more memorable evenings. I don't need any photos, I can replay in my mind it at will.

Todd Sw*nk was their main guy, this is his Skull Skates board, Not a shape anyone would ride these days.

And this is Todd Sw*nk.

Edited August 6, 2021 by bamber

[bamber]

Ha Ha w*nk is censored but fuck is not

[blutarsky]

Property for sale in Pilton alert 🚨 

Would suit older couple or anyone certain  they won’t be having children. 
Is it time to downsize and get free tickets too? 

Anyone who buys having seen this post is contractually obliged to donate two of their locals tickets to me and Mrs B for the next 5 festivals*. 

https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/60678419?utm_source=v1:5bWFDybfWx7C7AGpeagt7mP3PgcqjuqJ&utm_medium=api 

* not legally binding, but… please? Pretty please.