How do you feel?

[Wellyboot]

11 hours ago, WestCountryGirl said:

I've been really down the last few days. I haven't called my parents in about a week, which is weird for me in  normal circumstances but unheard of since this all started.

I text my Mum just to say that I'm sad and fed up of not knowing when it is that I'm going to be able to go home and see them, and I just don't feel like I have anything else to say. She responded to say she understands and feels the same way, and that made me feel even worse. I can handle me being upset, but thinking of my Mum feeling the same way is too horrible.

I know we're very lucky that at present we're all still in good health, but I know my mental health is really taking a nosedive with no dates of anything family related to look forward to, when this summer should have been full of them.

I get like that, I get down and don't feel like talking but like @crazyfool1 said, talking is the best thing you can do. 

Even if its just on here at least until you can have a proper chat with mum when ur aunts gone. We're all here for u if u do wanna chat. Lots of love your way xx

[MrZigster]

On 5/25/2020 at 2:20 AM, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Hello MtZigster,

You have my every sympathy because your situation is an possible situation. It really is unfair that this person/ these people are continuing to impose their singing on to you when it is both unsolicited and unwanted. Unfortunately I can offer know advice / remedy, but do wish that this intrusion comes to a stop for some reason sooner rather than later. 

I'm more pissed off with the lax attitude the road has shown towards social distancing if I'm honest. It's only going to get worse after this Cummings BS. People are already acting like this thing has gone away. There's no telling narcissists they are in the wrong is there, eh? They just keep coming up with ever more elaborate reasons as to why their behaviour is justified. Or they DARVO.

Think I may have been having a slight episode lately (those three bottles of wine probably didn't help). I blame not really going out apart from for shopping. I've hardly spoken to anyone for about two months now. Going a bit stir crazy. I bought in a weeks worth of shopping and then lost my appetite (again, the wine...). I'd been making myself eat properly prior to that. Possibly counteracted by the chain smoking though. I hope Hockney's right about that one.

To stay on thread, If I'm feeling anything right now it is probably confused and worried. Confused as to just how worried I should be, maybe?. Did I panic too much to begin with? Am I panicking too much now? As "at risk", I think I felt safer going out doing the shopping at the start of this thing, when people were taking it seriously, than I do now. I'm amazed there hasn't been a second wave. The revised guidelines are just so ridiculously ambiguously stupid it's no wonder people are scoffing at them.

As I was typing work have just phoned for their weekly wellness check. They still don't know when I'll be going back. I'm still not sure if I should be going back. Pretty sure there's not much work to go back to.

 

[WestCountryGirl]

Thanks @crazyfool1 and @Wellyboot x

Incidentally I have just spoken to my Mum as she was very upset after a run in with the neighbours from hell (shared drive. Last year the rubbish pile they built at the bottom got set alight and burned down both theirs and my parents' garage with much other damage. A year later and they've built a replacement pile...). Auntie is going home tonight so hopefully will be a bit easier for us to speak going forward.

Obviously always lovely to have the friendly peeps here to chat to too though 🙂

[bamber]

On 5/25/2020 at 6:36 PM, Deaf Nobby Burton said:

One thing this situation has done is really shown me exactly how bad alcohol actually makes you feel

I've tended to avoid drinking at all in the week and drinking fri/sat/sun. I’ve then consistently felt awful on Monday and then often Tuesday as well. Really down and lacking any motivation to do anything.

Now of course we all know how bad hangovers can be, but for me they’re usually linked to a night out so when you’ve drunk a lot the feeling of anxiety the next day is normally just linked to having been out, and feelings of ‘oh god what did I do’ and what did I spend etc. 
 

And then on Monday when I’d normally have work feeling down can easily be linked to that and the fact you’re at work and have another 5 days before the weekend. So it’s a easy for the feelings to be masked or jumbled up with other things.

But now when Monday is no different to Sunday. or any other day it really lays it bare that feeling so shit is purely the effects of alcohol and nothing else, not work, not anxiety about actions.

Don't get me wrong, I love a drink but it was just an observation. 

 

Drinking, yeah.

(The informal Yeah is the English equivalent of the German formal Ja (Yes) BTW, for those who question the absence of Ja in the Germanic English)

I digress already.

Certainly many of us are drinking more than usual.

I'm reading Martin Amis's 'Money' right now and compared to the protagonist John Self, I feel I'm doing OK drink wise.

Probably not a good yardstick, the John Self character in Money.

Alcohol 2-3 nights a week is OK I think. It is what it is.

I might well go overboard in the last week of June, there would be nothing unusual about that.

 

[Crazyfool01]

bit nervous tonight sis in law and niece and nephew all have coughs ... Brother not yet but all self isolating  

[MrZigster]

Sorry to hear that @crazyfool1. If they've been behaving as well as you during all of this then that is tragic. Best stay away then (what a  horrible thing to have to say).

On 5/28/2020 at 3:25 AM, bamber said:

Certainly many of us are drinking more than usual.

I'm reading Martin Amis's 'Money' right now and compared to the protagonist John Self, I feel I'm doing OK drink wise.

Probably not a good yardstick, the John Self character in Money.

Alcohol 2-3 nights a week is OK I think. It is what it is.

I went through a Martin Amis phase. Can't recall the levels of drinking in Money mind.

I had an OHS appointment once, where the walls of the waiting corridor were plastered (see what I did there) with posters of bottles of alcohol and their relevant units. They left me there long enough for me to give them a pretty accurate figure for my alcohol intake. I fell for their trick. I'm an idiot I know. The Dr. was horrified.

2/3/4/5 large vodkas and mixer down the pubs, followed by 1 or 2 bottles of wine when I got home. So over the recommended levels for a week almost every session. All in the space of about 3/4/5 hours.

My point being that that was 2-3-4 nights a week and not OK really.

I've cut down since but it's so easy to let it creep back up there.

To stay on thread, I've a couple of wines in the house and right now I feel like cracking one open. Have to go shopping tomorrow though mind.

Edited May 29, 2020 by MrZigster

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

I currently find myself in the seventh level of Dante's inferno. I'm not a violent person by nature, but if any of the fuckers in here give me the evil eye, then I'm quite convinced that I may do them some considerable harm. 

Listen to me being all dramatic in my own head. I'm nothing but a big girls blouse, and they know it. Bastards! 

 

[MrZigster]

@Yoghurt on a StickDante's inferno is just the waiting room for his hell you know . 

Where are you Yog? Apart from in your own head. Physical location I'm getting at? I hope by "in here" you don't mean this forum.

What if I give you the evil eye? (Can't be arsed to find a picture). Guess I'd get some verbal?

I type better than I talk sometimes.

I may have hit previously mentioned wine. I feel we should maybe move this to the drunk thread. I may not make it there though.

 

 

Edited May 29, 2020 by MrZigster

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

12 minutes ago, MrZigster said:

@Yoghurt on a StickDante's inferno is just the waiting room for his hell you know . 

Where are you Yog? Apart from in your own head. Physical location I'm getting at? I hope by "in here" you don't mean this forum.

What if I give you the evil eye? (Can't be arsed to find a picture). Guess I'd get some verbal?

I type better than I talk sometimes.

I may have hit previously mentioned wine. I feel we should maybe move this to the drunk thread. I may not make it there though.

 

 

Hello MrZigster,

I haven't actually read Dantes Inferno - just briefly glanced at snippets every blue moon.

I was just a little pissed off earlier about a whole load of life shit. I'm better than I was earlier, but not fully restored to normality - whatever that actually means / lies, and if I did indeed once reside in such a place.

My physical location is Bridgnorth in Shropshire. A quaint English town divided in two by the River Severn. I mostly lived in Birmingham all my life - except for a ghastly year and a bit at Essex University. I moved here just over 3 years ago. 

I think that I type much better than I talk too. That said, a good smoke and a drink can see me go off on a verbal gallop which I appreciate, but others may not.

I'm also not drunk. Nowhere near it, in fact. I went on a 4 day bender last weekend, and don't want to put the foot down this weekend. Last weekend was heavy duty even by my own standards. Good fun though.

Don't worry about giving me the evil eye. I really am a devout pacifist at heart. In fact I have only ever been violent to someone when I had no other option other than to take him out of the equation, as he was being violent to me at that time. I was in a toilet at a club when the door burst open and this bloke started strangling me. i didn't even know who the w*nker was. It turns out that i was with the girl that he split up from six months earlier and he'd been stalking her since. Anyway, violence is for morons, so I'll not discuss it further.

I hope that you and your wine are having a lovely night. 

PS - Is that plonker still balling his songs out on your street?

[Crazyfool01]

Morning .. @MrZigster  I’m not sure wether to hope they have it and get safely through it or not ... it’s a weird one at the moment they all have a cough And are awaiting the arrival of the tests which may not even work ... the odd thing is it’s my brother who is likely to have contracted it due to his job as a fireman being unable to avoid contact and he showing no symptoms ... he was going to visit my parents but fortunately didnt as the rest of his  family had symptoms at that point ... this is all so strange 

[bamber]

13 hours ago, MrZigster said:

Sorry to hear that @crazyfool1. If they've been behaving as well as you during all of this then that is tragic. Best stay away then (what a  horrible thing to have to say).

I went through a Martin Amis phase. Can't recall the levels of drinking in Money mind.

I had an OHS appointment once, where the walls of the waiting corridor were plastered (see what I did there) with posters of bottles of alcohol and their relevant units. They left me there long enough for me to give them a pretty accurate figure for my alcohol intake. I fell for their trick. I'm an idiot I know. The Dr. was horrified.

2/3/4/5 large vodkas and mixer down the pubs, followed by 1 or 2 bottles of wine when I got home. So over the recommended levels for a week almost every session. All in the space of about 3/4/5 hours.

My point being that that was 2-3-4 nights a week and not OK really.

I've cut down since but it's so easy to let it creep back up there.

To stay on thread, I've a couple of wines in the house and right now I feel like cracking one open. Have to go shopping tomorrow though mind.

I consider myself a drinker but the quantities described by the above or the likes of Oliver Reed or Amy etc. etc. seem utterly excessive.

They of course killed themselves.

To quote Brett Kavanaugh (motherfuka)

"I like beer"

 

 

 

[bamber]

A lot of TL;DR here. Im pretty sure no one pays much attention to me here either, I try to read all your posts🌍

A good friend, nah, my best friend, once said there was a Bob Marley tune for every situation in life.

He was not wrong.

Not sure what life situation this one will solve. I'll know when the time comes. 

1974....

 

 

Edited May 30, 2020 by bamber

[kalifire]

I've long had my own battles with alcohol consumption, and given my recent situation it's flared up again. Between 1-2 bottles of wine a night currently. I used to drink white Russians but poured them strong and got through them quite quickly so I switched to wine, which tends to take me at least a good 2-3 hours to get through a bottle. So I'm not getting smashed, but I am drinking way too much, not to mention the calorie intake. I'm moving into my own place on 11th, and am hoping to leave alcohol behind for a while and try life without it if I can manage.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, kalifire said:

I've long had my own battles with alcohol consumption, and given my recent situation it's flared up again. Between 1-2 bottles of wine a night currently. I used to drink white Russians but poured them strong and got through them quite quickly so I switched to wine, which tends to take me at least a good 2-3 hours to get through a bottle. So I'm not getting smashed, but I am drinking way too much, not to mention the calorie intake. I'm moving into my own place on 11th, and am hoping to leave alcohol behind for a while and try life without it if I can manage.

Good luck with your move on the 11th, kalifire. Also all the best with giving alcohol up for a while too. You know we're all rooting for you over this side of the hemisphere.

It was Glastonbury that broke a two year spell off alcohol for me. Well, that and a question that I asked of myself prior to the Glastonbury attendance. I asked myself if I was happier now that I was clean living for two years, went to the gym for a swim at 6am every morning, and then went back to the gym after work in the evening and did the full works - weights, rowing machines, more swimming etc.The honest answer was that I was no happier at all. That realisation hit me just before going to the festival. When i got to the festival I lasted a whole one night without the booze. I was then faced with another self addressed question to answer. Did I in my heart of hearts not actually feel that I'm actually just missing out with this new life? The answer was that I knew then at that moment that I was almost destined to go out on the sauce again. And what a game it has been. Most delightful. 

Please note my advice on alcohol to others would be to see if you could get through life without it. At the end of the day if you are happy as a happy thing without the booze, why would you want to possibly gamble with that? Further more, why would you want to pay good money to take that gamble? 

I used to go to the AA many years ago. It would be fair to say that I was having big problems with alcohol. I was drinking three and a half bottles of red wine ( or a 70cl bottle of whisky and a bit more) on a work night, and went out harder at it at the weekends. Anyway, I once met a lad there who had only ever had his first drink at the age of 36. Up until that point he was a very heavy outdoors junkie - rock climbing, canooing,  hiking etc. Anyway, he had a high paid job, which eventually led him to working in Prague at the age of 36. Somehow there, he made a decision to have an alcoholic drink (it was beer). And that was him - gone! He was coming to meetings because in a drunken state he'd managed to burn down the maisonette he was living in. He told me that the police had chosen to nail him to the cross on charges. He was up for arson and attempted manslaughter of his neighbour, in the attached maisonette, who the fire brigade had to rescue. His defence told him to visit AA meetings to show the court that he was trying to address his alcohol issues. So, he had to attend every AA meeting he could in order to show an impressive track record. 

I never did find out what happened to him, because I stopped going to the AA.

Please note that if you want to hear stories that range from the shocking to the totally hilarious, then you could do no better than going to an AA meeting and pretending to be an alcoholic. My wife also used to go to the AA before we met. She indicated how one lady had once told 'her story' . She indicated that she used to have to look after her wheelchair bound husband 24 hours of the day. She took to the drink with the stress of it all, apparently. At one point in her life she found herself taking the old man up a cliff to see the views from the top. Anyway, to cut a long story short, she got pissed and at one point reached for her bottle which was in the under carriage of her old mans wheel chair. In getting the bottle she managed to release his brake and stood there mute while watching him gather speed towards the cliff edge, and then obey all the laws of gravity by popping over the edge to his death. 

I know that I shouldn't, but I'm afraid that I find that story hilarious. I mean, it might have been her lying for whatever reason. even though there would appear to be no apparent benefit from 'confessing'. Quite the opposite, in fact. If that's story is real then you could also look away from humour and read in that she was watching her burdens finally slip away. lots of ways that you could play it. My brother makes films (which very few people watch). I think that I'll put that down as a film suggestion to him.

Anyway, I know only too well that I have rambled off course significantly. I have also admitted my own alcoholism, and probably upset quite a few attendees of the AA too. Not bad for a sunny afternoon in lock down. Then again, three buttons and a piece of string could keep me happy for hours. We must not forget this. 

[Crazyfool01]

3 hours ago, kalifire said:

I've long had my own battles with alcohol consumption, and given my recent situation it's flared up again. Between 1-2 bottles of wine a night currently. I used to drink white Russians but poured them strong and got through them quite quickly so I switched to wine, which tends to take me at least a good 2-3 hours to get through a bottle. So I'm not getting smashed, but I am drinking way too much, not to mention the calorie intake. I'm moving into my own place on 11th, and am hoping to leave alcohol behind for a while and try life without it if I can manage.

I can’t advise so much and in the detail of yog above but as I’m sure u know we are always about on here ... at anytime if you need us ... is there anything practical or physical you can do at these drinking times that might prove a distraction... ? It’s only been a short time so don’t beat yourself up too much about the emotion and trying to forget things bit ... that’s a pretty standard response to what you are going through ... all the best .. Alex 

[Kalopsia]

I can't believe the difference in my mood between when I've drunk 5 nights of the week compared to only 1 or 2. Only 2 or 3 330ml bottles a night so it's not like I'm getting hammered but it really makes me glum and miserable. Had a poor week consumption wise and tonight I am feeling the effects. 

[kalifire]

I agree, @Kalopsia - the mornings I wake up without having drunk anything the night before, I feel more rested, more alert, have better perspective etc. - for me, the issue's been that I can't sleep easily at night, and the nights can be quite painful emotionally, so alcohol has helped - and it has genuinely helped - to take the edge off and make things a bit more bearable.

[Kalopsia]

2 hours ago, kalifire said:

I agree, @Kalopsia - the mornings I wake up without having drunk anything the night before, I feel more rested, more alert, have better perspective etc. - for me, the issue's been that I can't sleep easily at night, and the nights can be quite painful emotionally, so alcohol has helped - and it has genuinely helped - to take the edge off and make things a bit more bearable.

I completely understand that and agree alcohol takes the edge off nicely.

It just makes me really sad and in deep thought, but that also depends on the scenario as at Glasto drink is the perfect partner for me. 

[Homer]

2 hours ago, kalifire said:

I agree, @Kalopsia - the mornings I wake up without having drunk anything the night before, I feel more rested, more alert, have better perspective etc. - for me, the issue's been that I can't sleep easily at night, and the nights can be quite painful emotionally, so alcohol has helped - and it has genuinely helped - to take the edge off and make things a bit more bearable.

I find podcasts are a godsend when I can't sleep.

[Mr.Tease]

17 minutes ago, Homer said:

I find podcasts are a godsend when I can't sleep.

Me too- I used to always struggle getting to sleep, or with waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep due to starting thinking and worrying about stuff. Since I discovered podcasts, they knock me out after 15 minutes! On the rare occasions when they don't work, at least I'm lying there listening to something that interests me rather than worrying about stuff.

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

The thing I found would alcohol during all this is something I’m sure somebody alluded to on here a while a back. There is nearly always somebody drinking across all the different WhatsApp groups I’m on. Some are furloughed, some are working from home etc. But it only took one person to say they’re having a beer in the garden and it was enough to persuade me to do the same. It was a bit like a perverse drinking game, when anybody I knew had a drink I felt vindicated to have a drink.

So I’ve tried to stick to Friday-Sunday for a while now. It makes it more enjoyable and something to look forward to, which is sad but it’s really just the circumstances. I know I will be fine as and when things go back to normal, but for now alcohol is just self medicating for extreme boredom.

Its going to be a bit tricky with the relaxations from tomorrow though. Already got two mates popping over on Tuesday and Thursday for ‘a beer in the garden’.

[Homer]

3 minutes ago, Deaf Nobby Burton said:

The thing I found would alcohol during all this is something I’m sure somebody alluded to on here a while a back. There is nearly always somebody drinking across all the different WhatsApp groups I’m on. Some are furloughed, some are working from home etc. But it only took one person to say they’re having a beer in the garden and it was enough to persuade me to do the same. It was a bit like a perverse drinking game, when anybody I knew had a drink I felt vindicated to have a drink.

So I’ve tried to stick to Friday-Sunday for a while now. It makes it more enjoyable and something to look forward to, which is sad but it’s really just the circumstances. I know I will be fine as and when things go back to normal, but for now alcohol is just self medicating for extreme boredom.

Its going to be a bit tricky with the relaxations from tomorrow though. Already got two mates popping over on Tuesday and Thursday for ‘a beer in the garden’.

Not sad at all my friend. I've been sticking to Fri to Sun religiously for the whole of lockdown. Having been furloughed, I think it helps bring a good 'structure' to my week.

Edited May 31, 2020 by Homer

[Homer]

9 minutes ago, Mr.Tease said:

Me too- I used to always struggle getting to sleep, or with waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep due to starting thinking and worrying about stuff. Since I discovered podcasts, they knock me out after 15 minutes! On the rare occasions when they don't work, at least I'm lying there listening to something that interests me rather than worrying about stuff.

Totally. I think it's because you are listening, it helps switch off your inner monologue. Though I've been waking up in the night far less on furlough (either I find my job more stressful than I realise - or I'm an undiagnosed psychopath!).

[MrZigster]

On 5/30/2020 at 1:05 AM, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

I hope that you and your wine are having a lovely night. 

PS - Is that plonker still balling his songs out on your street?

Oh we did. Kind of wiped out yesterday.

Re: The singer(?) they changed the act and the venue last week. Fully expecting it to start up again tonight. It's not so much the singer as the "do as we like" attitude that riles me I think. See my first post on this page (11 in case it goes over)

[woyski]

Hey guys - I haven't checked here since Glasto was cancelled, couldn't bloody face it. This week has been utter shite, silver lining is that this is the first time since I really felt this bad, but yeah, not enjoyed it. And with our Glasto-less June round the corner, I'm having a mega sulk.