How do you feel?

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

22 hours ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

Pretty fucking shit this end, in all honesty. My mum passed away last week and I'm still really struggling to process it. She wasn't even ill until three weeks ago and it all happened very fast. It wasn't Covid but Covid regs meant I wasn't allowed to visit her so I think that's partly why it seems so unreal still. Hoping the funeral will help, but there's likely to be a bit of a delay to that too. I'm off work for another week, just trying to take it easy and support the rest of my family but I just feel exhausted and numb to be quite honest.

I've spent most of the last year scared that my father-in-law and one of my best friends, both with stage 4 cancer, would get Covid or take a turn for the worse, but beyond general worries about my parents getting the virus this wasn't really on my radar at all. Just goes to show that life comes at you and you can't really predict these things. Let the people in your lives know you love them while you can.

Think I'm finally going to look into some kind of therapy. Another best friend died of cancer in 2018 and honestly I think I'm still struggling with that in many ways, let alone all this other shit. It's been a fucking shit few years.

Sorry for the long post. Seemed the best place to put it. Big love to anyone else struggling right now. Talking to people definitely helps.

 

 

You have my sincere condolences. I lost my dad just before Christmas last year. Well, I didn't actually lose him - he went and died. Which is fairly handy because we buried him on the 29th December! I am now caring for my mother 4 days a week and she's got the onset of dementia. Some days I just burst into tears. Not for my dad, but for my mom. She's not and never will be again the same person that I knew as my mom. Life can be a brute at times, but then it can / is the most wondrous gift too. I don't know, but am sure that your mom would want you to err more towards being happy than being sad. All the best.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

13 hours ago, lemons said:

Grateful this forum has been a little escape for me through a range of emotions.

Very much the same here too. I will always be indebted to this site for getting me through the very long and lowest period of my life.

[onthebeach]

23 hours ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

Pretty fucking shit this end, in all honesty. My mum passed away last week and I'm still really struggling to process it. She wasn't even ill until three weeks ago and it all happened very fast. It wasn't Covid but Covid regs meant I wasn't allowed to visit her so I think that's partly why it seems so unreal still. Hoping the funeral will help, but there's likely to be a bit of a delay to that too. I'm off work for another week, just trying to take it easy and support the rest of my family but I just feel exhausted and numb to be quite honest.

I've spent most of the last year scared that my father-in-law and one of my best friends, both with stage 4 cancer, would get Covid or take a turn for the worse, but beyond general worries about my parents getting the virus this wasn't really on my radar at all. Just goes to show that life comes at you and you can't really predict these things. Let the people in your lives know you love them while you can.

Think I'm finally going to look into some kind of therapy. Another best friend died of cancer in 2018 and honestly I think I'm still struggling with that in many ways, let alone all this other shit. It's been a fucking shit few years.

Sorry for the long post. Seemed the best place to put it. Big love to anyone else struggling right now. Talking to people definitely helps.

 

 

So, so sorry. Please take things at your own pace and it’s so important to take your time to grieve. 

[Zoo Music Girl]

1 hour ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

You have my sincere condolences. I lost my dad just before Christmas last year. Well, I didn't actually lose him - he went and died. Which is fairly handy because we buried him on the 29th December! I am now caring for my mother 4 days a week and she's got the onset of dementia. Some days I just burst into tears. Not for my dad, but for my mom. She's not and never will be again the same person that I knew as my mom. Life can be a brute at times, but then it can / is the most wondrous gift too. I don't know, but am sure that your mom would want you to err more towards being happy than being sad. All the best.

Sorry for your loss too and for your mum's illness. Dementia is so cruel. Wishing you all the best.

Thank you for your kind words too. I know I will be fine eventually, just going to take a bit of time. 

[Zoo Music Girl]

2 hours ago, John the Moth said:

Wishing you all the love and support you can muster.

 

1 hour ago, onthebeach said:

So, so sorry. Please take things at your own pace and it’s so important to take your time to grieve. 

Thank you both. Grief is such a weird one. Bit of a slow burn for me I think and definitely not straightforward. For me there is a fair amount of complicated family stuff around it all too, which tends to get in the way.

Would fully recommend the podcast Griefcast for anyone going through it (or even those who haven't as we all will some day). Not always the easiest listen but I've taken a lot of comfort from it in the past.

Edited August 29, 2021 by Zoo Music Girl

[Quark]

On 8/28/2021 at 9:02 AM, Zoo Music Girl said:

Pretty fucking shit this end, in all honesty. My mum passed away last week and I'm still really struggling to process it. She wasn't even ill until three weeks ago and it all happened very fast. It wasn't Covid but Covid regs meant I wasn't allowed to visit her so I think that's partly why it seems so unreal still. Hoping the funeral will help, but there's likely to be a bit of a delay to that too. I'm off work for another week, just trying to take it easy and support the rest of my family but I just feel exhausted and numb to be quite honest.

I've spent most of the last year scared that my father-in-law and one of my best friends, both with stage 4 cancer, would get Covid or take a turn for the worse, but beyond general worries about my parents getting the virus this wasn't really on my radar at all. Just goes to show that life comes at you and you can't really predict these things. Let the people in your lives know you love them while you can.

Think I'm finally going to look into some kind of therapy. Another best friend died of cancer in 2018 and honestly I think I'm still struggling with that in many ways, let alone all this other shit. It's been a fucking shit few years.

Sorry for the long post. Seemed the best place to put it. Big love to anyone else struggling right now. Talking to people definitely helps.

 

 

So sorry to hear that ZMG, sounds like this just came out of nowhere. Not much else I can add really. If you decide to go to therapy I hope it gives you whatever it is you need to start feeling better.x

[Zoo Music Girl]

58 minutes ago, Quark said:

So sorry to hear that ZMG, sounds like this just came out of nowhere. Not much else I can add really. If you decide to go to therapy I hope it gives you whatever it is you need to start feeling better.x

Thanks very much. Yeah it did really. An infection that escalated to her heart. They have to do a postmortem for the exact cause of death so that delays the funeral somewhat. Grim times all round.

Everyone here has been so nice, though. You guys are good eggs.

[kalifire]

My work asked me to confirm my annual leave arrangements for the rest of the year last week, and today I brought myself to sit down and let them know I won’t be going home for Christmas. Australia just won’t be open in time for me to make the plans I’d need to. The finality of that makes me sad, and marks the longest time I’ll have been away from my parents, the year they both turn 70. Now all hope is invested into next June. 

[Zoo Music Girl]

33 minutes ago, kalifire said:

My work asked me to confirm my annual leave arrangements for the rest of the year last week, and today I brought myself to sit down and let them know I won’t be going home for Christmas. Australia just won’t be open in time for me to make the plans I’d need to. The finality of that makes me sad, and marks the longest time I’ll have been away from my parents, the year they both turn 70. Now all hope is invested into next June. 

Sorry to hear this. Really hope you make it in June.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

49 minutes ago, kalifire said:

My work asked me to confirm my annual leave arrangements for the rest of the year last week, and today I brought myself to sit down and let them know I won’t be going home for Christmas. Australia just won’t be open in time for me to make the plans I’d need to. The finality of that makes me sad, and marks the longest time I’ll have been away from my parents, the year they both turn 70. Now all hope is invested into next June. 

Will keep my fingers crossed for you for June.

[shoptildrop]

On 8/28/2021 at 9:02 AM, Zoo Music Girl said:

Pretty fucking shit this end, in all honesty. My mum passed away last week and I'm still really struggling to process it. She wasn't even ill until three weeks ago and it all happened very fast. It wasn't Covid but Covid regs meant I wasn't allowed to visit her so I think that's partly why it seems so unreal still. Hoping the funeral will help, but there's likely to be a bit of a delay to that too. I'm off work for another week, just trying to take it easy and support the rest of my family but I just feel exhausted and numb to be quite honest.

I've spent most of the last year scared that my father-in-law and one of my best friends, both with stage 4 cancer, would get Covid or take a turn for the worse, but beyond general worries about my parents getting the virus this wasn't really on my radar at all. Just goes to show that life comes at you and you can't really predict these things. Let the people in your lives know you love them while you can.

Think I'm finally going to look into some kind of therapy. Another best friend died of cancer in 2018 and honestly I think I'm still struggling with that in many ways, let alone all this other shit. It's been a fucking shit few years.

Sorry for the long post. Seemed the best place to put it. Big love to anyone else struggling right now. Talking to people definitely helps.

 

 

oh my word!! I am so sorry to hear this and sending virtual (((hugs))) and condolences your way xxx

[Zoo Music Girl]

2 hours ago, shoptildrop said:

oh my word!! I am so sorry to hear this and sending virtual (((hugs))) and condolences your way xxx

Thank you very much xx

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

I currently feel relaxed, calm, and well adjusted. 

[MrBarry465]

As we are reaching the end of the month, anyone else reckon that was one of the worst summers of recent memory?

It just doesn't feel like it was ever particularly warm at all and the much hyped 'freedom' was all a bit of a fizzle out. People were predicting last days of rome style celebrations, but we've sort of wandered into September and I don't really remember summer evben starting...

[gigpusher]

On 8/28/2021 at 9:02 AM, Zoo Music Girl said:

Pretty fucking shit this end, in all honesty. My mum passed away last week and I'm still really struggling to process it. She wasn't even ill until three weeks ago and it all happened very fast. It wasn't Covid but Covid regs meant I wasn't allowed to visit her so I think that's partly why it seems so unreal still. Hoping the funeral will help, but there's likely to be a bit of a delay to that too. I'm off work for another week, just trying to take it easy and support the rest of my family but I just feel exhausted and numb to be quite honest.

I've spent most of the last year scared that my father-in-law and one of my best friends, both with stage 4 cancer, would get Covid or take a turn for the worse, but beyond general worries about my parents getting the virus this wasn't really on my radar at all. Just goes to show that life comes at you and you can't really predict these things. Let the people in your lives know you love them while you can.

Think I'm finally going to look into some kind of therapy. Another best friend died of cancer in 2018 and honestly I think I'm still struggling with that in many ways, let alone all this other shit. It's been a fucking shit few years.

Sorry for the long post. Seemed the best place to put it. Big love to anyone else struggling right now. Talking to people definitely helps.

 

 

Oh so sorry to hear this and sending big hugs and much love and strength your way. I know exactly how you feel after what happened with my brother this year. After the last funeral we went to we were having conversations about the old and the frail in our family who we were worried about and didn't expect to have long left since then my brother has died, my sister in law been diagnosed with kidney cancer, my younger cousin died of brain cancer and all those that we thought were old and frail are still here and just older and frailer. We've actually gotten pretty good at treating chronic illness and it's the ones that appear out of nowhere that shock us. 

Grief is not a straight line so be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel anyway you want to. 

[gigpusher]

On 8/29/2021 at 7:48 AM, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

You have my sincere condolences. I lost my dad just before Christmas last year. Well, I didn't actually lose him - he went and died. Which is fairly handy because we buried him on the 29th December! I am now caring for my mother 4 days a week and she's got the onset of dementia. Some days I just burst into tears. Not for my dad, but for my mom. She's not and never will be again the same person that I knew as my mom. Life can be a brute at times, but then it can / is the most wondrous gift too. I don't know, but am sure that your mom would want you to err more towards being happy than being sad. All the best.

Sorry to hear your Mom is not doing well. Dementia is such a cruel illness as you feel like you lose them twice. Sending you hugs as well. 

[Funkyfairy!]

On 8/28/2021 at 10:02 AM, Zoo Music Girl said:

Pretty fucking shit this end, in all honesty. My mum passed away last week and I'm still really struggling to process it. She wasn't even ill until three weeks ago and it all happened very fast. It wasn't Covid but Covid regs meant I wasn't allowed to visit her so I think that's partly why it seems so unreal still. Hoping the funeral will help, but there's likely to be a bit of a delay to that too. I'm off work for another week, just trying to take it easy and support the rest of my family but I just feel exhausted and numb to be quite honest.

I've spent most of the last year scared that my father-in-law and one of my best friends, both with stage 4 cancer, would get Covid or take a turn for the worse, but beyond general worries about my parents getting the virus this wasn't really on my radar at all. Just goes to show that life comes at you and you can't really predict these things. Let the people in your lives know you love them while you can.

Think I'm finally going to look into some kind of therapy. Another best friend died of cancer in 2018 and honestly I think I'm still struggling with that in many ways, let alone all this other shit. It's been a fucking shit few years.

Sorry for the long post. Seemed the best place to put it. Big love to anyone else struggling right now. Talking to people definitely helps.

 

 

I get you I really do. My Dad passed away last October and covid stopped me seeing him too until the very last 2 hours , I can;t imagine not being allowed to be with your mum at all - I really can;t so I can only imagine. Take one day at a time, the grief for me came in total waves and actually hit me really hard when I went back home - take all the time you need, remember the good times, look at photographs and cry and laugh when you need to

sending you huge hugs and we're all here if you just want to sound off to a load of internet friends x

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, gigpusher said:

Sorry to hear your Mom is not doing well. Dementia is such a cruel illness as you feel like you lose them twice. Sending you hugs as well. 

That's really appreciated. Thanks gigpusher.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

6 hours ago, MrBarry465 said:

As we are reaching the end of the month, anyone else reckon that was one of the worst summers of recent memory?

It just doesn't feel like it was ever particularly warm at all and the much hyped 'freedom' was all a bit of a fizzle out. People were predicting last days of rome style celebrations, but we've sort of wandered into September and I don't really remember summer evben starting...

You took the words right out of my mouth. 

[Zoo Music Girl]

2 hours ago, gigpusher said:

Oh so sorry to hear this and sending big hugs and much love and strength your way. I know exactly how you feel after what happened with my brother this year. After the last funeral we went to we were having conversations about the old and the frail in our family who we were worried about and didn't expect to have long left since then my brother has died, my sister in law been diagnosed with kidney cancer, my younger cousin died of brain cancer and all those that we thought were old and frail are still here and just older and frailer. We've actually gotten pretty good at treating chronic illness and it's the ones that appear out of nowhere that shock us. 

Grief is not a straight line so be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel anyway you want to. 

 

1 hour ago, Funkyfairy! said:

I get you I really do. My Dad passed away last October and covid stopped me seeing him too until the very last 2 hours , I can;t imagine not being allowed to be with your mum at all - I really can;t so I can only imagine. Take one day at a time, the grief for me came in total waves and actually hit me really hard when I went back home - take all the time you need, remember the good times, look at photographs and cry and laugh when you need to

sending you huge hugs and we're all here if you just want to sound off to a load of internet friends x

Thank you so much both. It is mad how quick it was and how unexpected; as I've said a few times on here we had three people diagnosed with cancer in 2020 and they are all still with us, although dealing with that is shit in and of itself.

I remember you saying about your brother @gigpusher. Hope you're doing as okay as can be.

And sorry to hear of your loss too @Funkyfairy!. It is a real shitter not to be there for people. I'm glad you got to see him at the end, though. In my case we had been told she was stable and would probably be fine and then it all happened very suddenly so not even my dad was there (he was the only one allowed to see her up until then). It sucks but I just have to accept it. I definitely think the funeral will help with that but still no idea when it will be.

[gigpusher]

2 hours ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

 

Thank you so much both. It is mad how quick it was and how unexpected; as I've said a few times on here we had three people diagnosed with cancer in 2020 and they are all still with us, although dealing with that is shit in and of itself.

I remember you saying about your brother @gigpusher. Hope you're doing as okay as can be.

And sorry to hear of your loss too @Funkyfairy!. It is a real shitter not to be there for people. I'm glad you got to see him at the end, though. In my case we had been told she was stable and would probably be fine and then it all happened very suddenly so not even my dad was there (he was the only one allowed to see her up until then). It sucks but I just have to accept it. I definitely think the funeral will help with that but still no idea when it will be.

We've had to deal with my sister-in-law (different brother) being diagnosed with kidney cancer recently as well and that was another shock out of the blue. Thankfully it was caught in time and other than having to live with one kidney and being monitored for that they hope she will be fine. Hope the rest of your friends and family keep in good health. 

[Zoo Music Girl]

4 minutes ago, gigpusher said:

We've had to deal with my sister-in-law (different brother) being diagnosed with kidney cancer recently as well and that was another shock out of the blue. Thankfully it was caught in time and other than having to live with one kidney and being monitored for that they hope she will be fine. Hope the rest of your friends and family keep in good health. 

Thank you. Hope she continues to stay well. 

[WestCountryGirl]

@Zoo Music Girl I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. Somehow the shock feels all the more cruel. I'm glad to hear that this place helps, and that you're planning to go to therapy.

Take care, and just keep posting. We'll all be here. x

[Zoo Music Girl]

29 minutes ago, WestCountryGirl said:

@Zoo Music Girl I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. Somehow the shock feels all the more cruel. I'm glad to hear that this place helps, and that you're planning to go to therapy.

Take care, and just keep posting. We'll all be here. x

Thank you xx

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

23 hours ago, MrBarry465 said:

As we are reaching the end of the month, anyone else reckon that was one of the worst summers of recent memory?

It just doesn't feel like it was ever particularly warm at all and the much hyped 'freedom' was all a bit of a fizzle out. People were predicting last days of rome style celebrations, but we've sort of wandered into September and I don't really remember summer evben starting...

The terrible weather hasn't helped, I'm sure this is a key factor. It's been the most dreary and cold August I can ever recall. Ironic how last year was beautiful and everything was under restriction! Life goes that way sometimes, doesn't it?

Keeping it festival-related, I've noticed so much negativity (particularly in the comments sections of social media) around events that have taken place. Some of it absolutely justified (long queues for bars and toilets, toilets in a terrible state, poor COVID provisions, anti-social behaviour, lack of refunds) but some very harsh (lineup drop-outs and replacements, lack of staff, etc), to say the least. Back in January, we would have given anything to be able to dance in a field and although it's not felt as free as usual, we got that chance from July onwards. Most organisations have done their best under difficult circumstances but I do concede that there are a few less established promoters who looked to capitalise on the demand, post-lockdown.

But are we too entitled these days? Are we that complacent that we forgot exactly where we were six months ago? Does social media give people a platform to complain regardless? Is the comments section a good barometer for the success of an event? I've only managed to get to a few events this year but I've thoroughly enjoyed them but that doesn't seem to be a universal opinion. I even wonder if Glastonbury went ahead, if there wouldn't be thousands of complaints about this, that or the other.

That's the general theme I'll take away from the "Summer of Freedom". The negativity.