The only solution is everyone needs to write a letter to Emily saying why they want to attend, why they deserve to go more than someone else, including a postal order for the full ticket price to prove they are financially prudent to save in advance and a selfie photo to prove they've done one wet year.
Michael will then hand deliver the tickets on January 10th, in his shorts, and personally check your passport photo I'd to ensure you match the photo you sent. He will then give you 6 dice and if you roll 2 fives in one throw then you've passed the statistical probability test and he hands you the ticket in exchange for the F5 button from your keyboard.