Sneaking in story

[wozwebs]

2 minutes ago, incident said:

That'd work at places that do a soft check, and certainly would reduce the risk of getting picked up while randomly walking around the site, but wouldn't trust it at the gates. The policy at the Gates at Glastobury is supposed to be a hard check - ie fingers on the wristband, check that it's firmly attached to the wrist, that the texture is correct etc.

We wafted ours to the bloke sat at the John Peel backstage bar once, he was playing a game on his phone and just waved us through. Walked in with some confidence chatting to ourselves and in we went.

[gooner1990]

On 3/9/2022 at 1:38 PM, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

 

What a crock of made up shit 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

48 minutes ago, gooner1990 said:

What a crock of made up shit 

There would indeed be a school of thought that would agree with you on that.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

On 3/19/2022 at 1:34 PM, Spindles said:

The thing is, everyone's blagging into glastonbury story is always an entertaining tale if well told so they tend to be quite long.  Mine could be summed up as: We arrived, we walked around the fence, found a panel we could squeeze a gap open on and then got in and set up, but I can make it last half an hour with the assorted descriptions of the curious sights, sounds and experiences we had from the journey there til we were pitched.  It was a hell of an adventure (although not as much as a couple of days later when we blagged our way backstage) and one of my 3 great glastonbury 2000 anecdotes that I trot out from time to time.

You can't leave 'that' there - 'we', or at least 'I' need to know!

You know full well what I'm talking about!

Come on, spill the beans on the 3rd one?

[incident]

1 hour ago, wozwebs said:

We wafted ours to the bloke sat at the John Peel backstage bar once, he was playing a game on his phone and just waved us through. Walked in with some confidence chatting to ourselves and in we went.

Yeah, internal will be much easier. Can easily get into Interstage much the same way.

Much smaller chance that it works on the (main festival) gates though.

[stuartbert two hats]

On 3/19/2022 at 1:34 PM, Spindles said:

The thing is, everyone's blagging into glastonbury story is always an entertaining tale if well told so they tend to be quite long.  Mine could be summed up as: We arrived, we walked around the fence, found a panel we could squeeze a gap open on and then got in and set up, but I can make it last half an hour with the assorted descriptions of the curious sights, sounds and experiences we had from the journey there til we were pitched.  It was a hell of an adventure (although not as much as a couple of days later when we blagged our way backstage) and one of my 3 great glastonbury 2000 anecdotes that I trot out from time to time.

Yeah, my 1997 fence tale could simply say "paid some blokes a tenner to climb a bit of fence", or it could involve the local landowner's parking and the many fields and ditches and hedges we ran/crawled through and the group of scousers who we followed and got everyone going.

[blutarsky]

1 hour ago, gooner1990 said:

What a crock of made up shit 

If you’re going to make up a story, surely you’d do better than “someone let me in after I wandered around chatting shit for a while” 

[stuartbert two hats]

On 3/19/2022 at 3:26 PM, Mark E. Spliff said:

I definitely don't believe the most recent sneaking in saga above, if only for the unlikeliness of a field of tall wheat in a dairy farming area in June, plus the dialogue from the bit-part actors like the security guard was very NPC: “Cheers lads. You can never be too careful you know, when you see a couple of young lads just loitering about near the entrance...."   (Any security guard who was perturbed by the concept of young people hanging round by the entrance to Glastonbury would have died of stress long before the festival had started.) 

Apologies if it was true, but even if it wasn't, I still thought it was a decent attempt at creative writing - I read it to the end.

 

On 3/19/2022 at 5:30 PM, downtherabbithole said:

I can swear on my life that it is true, the incident with the security guard. There is some poetic license in the story admittedly, but that part is pretty much a direct quote. And maybe it wasn't wheat, but something similar to that. It was dark and my farming knowledge isnt the best but it was a crop of something ahahah

I definitely ran through a field of crops in 1997.

[clarkete]

10 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

 

I definitely ran through a field of crops in 1997.

[whitehorses]

There’s defo crops grown around pilton. It’s not all cows. Guess we could use Google earth’s time machine or whatever it’s called to examine claims of crops :)🌾

[dondo]

1 hour ago, stuartbert two hats said:

 

I definitely ran through a field of crops in 1997.

You are Theresa May and I claim my £10

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

15 hours ago, stuartbert two hats said:

 

I definitely ran through a field of crops in 1997.

Are you sure that you weren't dreaming and that this was the field?

[blutarsky]

I got talking this evening to a friend of a friend and the topic of Glastonbury came up. I was regaled with the following story: 

Back in 2017 I had just finished University and spent a couple of months inter-railing around Europe. Like many people my age I wasn’t the best at budgeting, despite my 2:2 in politics, philosophy and economics from a former poly, had run out of money and had to head home earlier than planned. Unfortunately for me this meant my planned summer sojourn across the continent only lasted from mid-May through to the summer solstice. That meant I only spent just over a month travelling and needed to come home and find work sooner than I had originally hoped. As many students do, I’d been hoping to put off embarking on a career for a little while longer. Resigned to my fate I had boarded the Eurotunnel and travelled back under the channel and into Saint Pancras station. 

Shortly after arriving back in our nation’s capital I found myself at Paddington boarding the Penzance train headed back to my native Plymouth. Knowing how the journey ended it seems ridiculous to say it, but I had settled into my seat early and was all set to snooze for the whole journey. Yet this was not to be. 

I had been sat in my seat for a short while waiting for departure when I noticed that the carriage was filling up more than I might have perhaps expected. So many people were boarding and they all seemed to be hugely overladen. My own luggage was fairly heavy as I had an 80L backpack which I’d used throughout my travels. At least 75% of my fellow passengers had similar backpacks but were also carrying tents and crates of beer and cider. Kicking myself I realised I had inadvertently boarded the train to the west country on the last Wednesday in June. It was Glastonbury Festival weekend and I was stuck on a train full of excited festival goers while I was contemplating weeks of jobhunting ahead of me. Now, I’ve always been somewhat impulsive but what followed might have been the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done. 

Gone were any thoughts of trawling through classified adverts, writing covering letters and updating my CV. I decided there and then that I would be going to the festival, lack of a ticket notwithstanding. Three of my closest friends had tried to persuade me to buy a ticket the previous October but I'd said no as I anticipated being in Europe. Usually I would’ve agreed to go in with them as a group of four but having made my decision I wasn’t at all disappointed back in October when they were successful in the sale. Personally I’ve always been pretty good at making decisions and standing by them but this was one decision I was really regretting. 

Mind made up, I started asking around among the passengers on the train for a spare ticket. Obviously I knew this was a long shot and that even if anyone did have a ticket of someone who wasn’t coming they’d be unlikely to look like me. To my utter disbelief I actually managed to chance upon a spare ticket after asking just a few people. Unfortunately it belonged to the mum of one of the passengers, a middle-aged divorcee with a blue rinsed bob cut. At the time I was 22 and am 6 foot tall with close cropped brown hair. I also had a six week beard which I wouldn’t have been able to shave off before getting to the gate. It was a nonstarter. I continued asking around but had no luck. 

At this point I needed ideas so I turned to my faithful friend uncle Google. I searched for ways to get into Glastonbury Festival without a ticket and ended up watching a few videos on YouTube and reading several articles, most of which were about the days before the super fence. To be perfectly honest there wasn’t much of use in any of the videos or articles but the one thing I did take from them was that persistence pays off. I decided I’d keep on trying until I got in or got arrested. 

When the train pulled into Castle Cary I got off along with all the rest of the passengers leaving just a few relieved business commuters on board. All the other passengers quickly left the platform and headed towards the shuttle bus but I had to sit on a bench and think for a moment. I parked myself down and started going through my bag. What would I need for the festival, and what did I have? I decided I wouldn’t need all that much, just a few changes of clothes and some wet weather gear in case the weather turned. As luck would have it when you go travelling for what you expect to be months on end you tend to take something to cover more or less any eventuality. Obviously though, I wouldn’t want to take my entire backpack with me and be weighed down by 20kg Of gear if I was trying to out run security and bunk over a massive fence. Fortunately my backpack was an Osprey which comes with a little day bag attached to the back of the main backpack. I decided to decant a few key items into this bag and then checked my main bag into the left luggage office at Castle Cary station. I figured I would pick it up on Monday or sooner if I was unsuccessful. I turned away from the counter and nearly walked into a vending machine. On the spur of the moment I decided to buy a couple of twixes in homage to a story I’d read online about breaking into the festival. 

With that I queued up for the shuttle bus and boarded one which was a little quieter than the one my fellow train passengers had alighted. A short while later I arrived at pedestrian gate A but obviously didn’t go straight into the queues. It was around 11 am so there were a fair few people moving around but it wasn’t heaving. Rather than draw attention to myself by hanging around I decided it would be best to get out of the area. As I knew access to Pilton Village was restricted I decided it would be best to head away from the village to try and find an access point to the festival. I walked away from the gate in the opposite direction, head down and looking at my phone as I again turned to uncle Google for help. I was looking at Google Maps to try and figure out if there was a spot that would allow me to get close to the fence when I walked smack bang into a security guard. Obviously annoyed that I’d walked straight into him he wheeled on me and asked me where I thought I was going. It must’ve seemed quite strange to him that someone who had just turned up to the festival on Wednesday morning would be walking away from the main gate for entry. Fortunately I’d just been looking at the map and thought on my feet. “ I'm meeting my mates who have got my ticket,” I told him, “but they’ve ended up at gate D.” Seemingly satisfied, he told me to look where I was going in future and left me to get on my way. 

As I walked between pedestrian gate A and D it was obvious to me there probably wasn’t any way in there. The fenceline is quite exposed in that area and there are campsites on the other side which would likely be empty or at least sparsely populated at that time. I also realised it would be very difficult to get over the fence during daylight hours unless I could come up with a creative way or place of doing it. I decided to navigate my way past gate D and head towards the car park where I could legitimately be hanging out waiting for friends. I decided I’d make a plan while I was waiting there. 

I completed this next step without much trouble and found a suitable spot to sit down where I wouldn't arouse suspicion and would just look like a festival goer waiting for their friends. While sat there I pulled out my phone and turned to uncle Google again. I was soon able to find a fairly detailed map of the festival and decided on a plan of attack. When I spotted a wooded area to the south of the festival I figured it would be easiest to hide in there and get close to the fence. There was one particular spot I decided to target, as just on the other side of the fence there was a busier area which I figured I could quickly get myself lost in if I was seen going over the fence. With only 15% battery left on my phone, I made a great effort to try and memorise as much of the map as possible as I knew I’d be unlikely to get much more time looking at it. 

Heading further south around the festival boundary I prepared a story about meeting friends in the campervan fields if I needed it. Fortunately I wasn’t challenged. 

As I approached the west campers gate I realised I'd struggle for a legitimate excuse as to why I was walking past it. The next significant point I would get to would be Pennard Hill gate where Worthy View campers go in and out. Clearly it would pay not to be seen walking past. Once I was nearby I bent down and pretended to be reshuffling my backpack. No one at the gate  seemed to notice I was there so I was able to observe for a while. I guessed that most of the campervan inhabitants had already made their way onto the festival site as although there was a steady stream of people going through the gate it was relatively quiet and those that approached walked straight in. I briefly contemplated making a run for it as I figured I could out run the stewards but then noted some extra security that I hadn’t seen up until now. Getting involved in a chase, being caught and thrown out before I had a proper crack at getting in via a more subtle way didn’t seem like an appealing option. 

Having observed the gate operation for a while I realised that I would be able to walk towards the campervan field and then double back on myself once around the corner without arousing suspicion. This meant I was able to get past the camper van gate with little issue. 

However, soon after I came across a big problem. I was walking the perimeter on the track that surrounds the fence. Obviously I’ve been passed by security patrols a few times as I’d headed from pedestrian gate A to D but I had legitimate excuses for doing so and hadn’t been challenged as presumably security realised there might be good reasons to be making that walk. Now those reasons had disappeared. Consequently, I was challenged pretty quickly by a fairly hostile security detail. The two primate-like figures in the Land Rover seemed eager to catch someone trying to bunk in and I was only able to throw them off the scent by pretending to be extremely stupid. I put on a posh boy persona not unlike the one many of my course mates at uni had naturally acquired during their time at private school. As a working-class lad I’d resented their sense of entitlement and the way they seemed to breeze through life with no real clue what was going on around them, But in this moment I was grateful for it; by adopting it I was able to throw the security guards off the scent. I waffled on about making my way over to Worthy View and how I had just been on my ‘gap yah’ which seemed to satisfy them that I was unlikely to be trying to break in. They did, however, tell me there was no way I’d be able to walk there and directed me back to pedestrian gate A to catch the shuttle bus. I thanked them and turned around to head back towards West campers to rethink my plan of attack. 

With the battery slowly ebbing away on my phone I needed to sort this fast. Looking at the map I noticed a farm to the south of the festival which didn’t look like it was too far away from the perimeter. I decided that if I could get there I’d be able to approach the perimeter without having to use the boundary track patrolled by security. 

Google Maps planned a route for me and driving would only take 10 minutes. 
When the festival wasn’t on. 
But the festival was on, and traffic management routes were in operation. 
And I didn’t have a car. 
This complicated things. 

Walking the route would be sure to arouse suspicion amongst the traffic management stewards. I was pretty sure I would be picked up quite quickly if I tried that. Stumped, I sat down to rest and opened a twix. 

As luck would have it a potential answer to my problem appeared at that very moment. Two men, aged around 25 I would guess, were headed towards the gate from the campervan field on a pair of bicycles. One of them was evidently having a lot of trouble. The chain had come off and I could hear him swearing this was the third time in a couple of hundred metres. He was also muttering about the brakes not working and was shouting at his mate that they shouldn’t have bothered with them. His bike ground to a halt right in front of me and I asked if he was alright. It turned out the pair of them were staying in a rented campervan and had decided to buy second hand bikes so they could quickly get into the festival. However, one of them had bought a dud. He decided he was ditching it, and not wanting to be pushing a bike around while walking next to his mate, the other guy decided to leave his as well. “Can’t be fucked with this mate,” they told me. They evidently didn’t subscribe to the “Love the Farm, Leave No Trace” ethos! Nonetheless, their poor attitude was helpful to me! 

Five minutes later I was cycling out to the road on the good bike, having waited for them to disappear before half-inching it. Once I reached the road I turned left and headed towards the farm. Periodically I’d reach a junction manned by traffic stewards and would be asked what I was up to. I was grateful that I’d googled the farm and found out its name and the name of the family that lived there as I could give a variety of excuses and details. “I live at X farm,” I told one steward, “my name is X - you can check if you want.” I told another I worked at the farm and a third that I lived in Pilton village and was visiting my mate who lived at the farm. To my relief all of these excuses got me past the stewards with little more than a shrug. As a result after 20 minutes of peddling I found myself approaching the farm gates. 

Although it looked quiet, in fact dead, I decided it wouldn’t be best to ride right into the farmyard and so I pulled off the track and into a field a few hundred yards before reaching the farm. I stashed the bike inside a hedgerow and made sure it was well enough hidden that it was unlikely to be discovered for at least a few days. I then started creeping along the hedge with the intention of skirting around the field and into the woods. Unfortunately, the field was absolutely massive and I realised I would have to get quite close to the farmhouse to use the hedges of its garden as cover to reach the woodland. There was also a security detail on the far side of the field, although it was big enough that I was confident there was no way they would see me where I was. 

I nervously carried on edging along the hedgerow and reached the corner of the field. I dropped to my belly and crawled along the ground behind the garden hedge. I really started to sweat when I heard voices and realised there were people in the garden. Making as little noise as possible was imperative. Fortunately they seemed pretty engrossed in their conversation and were laughing and joking in anticipation of heading into the festival. I was able to get to the far side of the garden without incident. Now I needed to make a 30 metre dash to reach the woods. I looked around and didn’t think there was anyone who would see me as long as I kept low. Taking one last deep breath I leapt up and ran for it. I don’t think I breathed in until I reached the woods and flung myself on the ground behind an old oak. 

Now I was in the woodland I felt relatively secure but would still have to proceed with caution. I took my phone out of my pocket and realised I’d made the mistake of leaving Google Maps running and had nearly completely drained the battery. With just 2% left I text my friends to find out if they’d got on site yet and made camp. I also checked Google maps again and noted my position - it would be the last look I'd get and I needed to move a few hundred metres east if I was to get to my planned access point. I then waited nervously for a reply from my friends while praying my phone wouldn’t die before it arrived, and eating a twix. Thankfully they replied pretty quickly and the message flashed up, “yeah, got our normal spot at the top of Pennards…”. The phone died before I could read any more - but it didn’t matter, I knew roughly where to find them and I also knew they’d have their flag above camp, massive Wolves fans that they are. 

While sitting there I noticed a Land Rover pass by about 20 metres ahead of me through the trees. I waited for the next one which came around 10 minutes later, followed by another 10 minutes after that. I decided I would only move for five minutes at a time, waiting for a Land Rover to pass before moving, hiding again and then waiting for the next to pass me by. In this fashion I was able to cover a couple hundred metres in about 45 minutes, using the pauses while waiting for Land Rovers to pass as an opportunity to scope out what was ahead. I passed a lookout tower on the perimeter shortly after setting out and I decided I would continue past my intended point of attack to see where the next guard tower was. It turned out this was around 100 metres past my planned access point away so I figured my initial hunch of where to try and bunk over the fence had worked out. It was pretty much equidistant from the two lookout towers and had some vegetation on the other side of it. Below the vegetation was a campsite which I figured I’d be able to disappear into, before coming out the other side and heading towards Pennards. 

By now it was around 3pm and I didn’t fancy waiting seven hours for nightfall before making my attempt. I figured security would be more on guard once the sun went down and also that they were unlikely to expect someone to try and get over the fence during daylight hours on the first day of the festival. With this in mind I edged towards the fence and hid myself in a ditch only a metre or so away from the perimeter track. I hunkered down and covered myself with some branches and waited a few moments for the next Land Rover to pass. After I’d done so I popped my head up to properly survey the fence. One thing I hadn’t accounted for was the fact it was fucking massive. Although I’m pretty fit and agile I’d have had to have been able to jump my own height to reach the top and scale it. 

I looked around me for anything I could use to try and get over. There was nothing immediately obvious so I headed back into the thicker part of the woods. After a little bit of scouting around I found a thick fallen branch which had a few spurs coming off it which I thought I’d be able to use as a ladder of sorts. Just as I went to pick it up my heart froze, as I heard barking close by. I glanced up and saw a farmer in the field on the other side of the woods with his dog, and the dog was running towards me barking. I dropped to my belly and immediately stopped breathing. The farmer was shouting for his dog to come back but I was worried it would be obvious he had found something. I decided the only way out of this was to try and get the dog to shut up so as it approached me I reached out my hand and asked it if it was a good boy. I tickled his chin and rubbed his belly and the barking stopped. The farmer then put his fingers to his mouth and made a high-pitched whistle which got the dog to jump up and run back to him. He looked suspiciously over but as I was hidden by some shrubs he didn’t see me and he decided not to investigate. He and his dog continued on their way but I decided it would be safest to stay still for a while. I tucked into another Twix to spike my blood sugar levels and counteract the adrenaline coursing through my body. 

When I felt enough time had passed I collected my new branch-cum-ladder and headed back towards the drainage ditch. As I approached I had to quickly duck behind a tree while one of the Land Rovers went past and then settled myself into the drainage ditch, covered myself in some branches and decided to wait for the next one to go past before making my attempt. 

True to form 10 minutes later another Land Rover passed me by as I held my breath. I waited for it to disappear out of view and I was up, dashing across the track to the super fence. I leant my branch up against it and started trying to scramble up it. Immediately disaster befell me as the bottom foot snapped off sending me tumbling to the ground. I quickly jumped back up and decided I had two options: persist with this attempt or head back to the woods and regroup. 

Impatient to be inside the festival I just decided to continue. I propped the branch back up and gingerly climbed up leaning on the fence with my hands for additional support. As I reached the top of the branch I could just about touch the top of the fence with my fingertips and realised I’d have to launch myself upwards and grab hold. This was high risk as I could easily fall and hurt myself if I missed my grab and I’d also be unlikely to be able to get the branch back away from the fence and hidden in the ditch again before the next Land Rover. I went for it. 

Fortunately I got just enough leverage before the branch slipped away from underneath me and I was able to get my hands over the top of the fence and grab on for all I was worth. I was able to pull myself up and hook my arm over the top, then the other one so my armpits were hooked over the fence. I swung my leg up to the side and over so I was lying on top of the fence just-in-time to see a Land Rover starting to appear in the distance. I looked down and was able to see another track on the inside of the perimeter and I dropped down to it. Just a few yards away were some bushes so I plunged into them. 

As far as I was aware no one had seen me so I decided to stay still for a moment. I was expecting the Land Rover on the other side of the fence to stop and investigate this branch that I had left next to the fence but to my relief I heard it cruise on by. From memory I was now in a public part of the festival but not immediately near any camping. I decided it would be best to get as near to a campsite as possible before emerging from the bushes to avoid arousing suspicion. I moved downhill through the vegetation, progressing slowly and surveying what was ahead of me at all times. Fortunately there didn't appear to be anyone there. When I reached the end of it I paused to look around and mercifully couldn’t see any security or stewards. I stepped out and briskly walked away, managing to avoid attracting anyone’s attention apart from one old boy who smiled wryly and tapped his nose.

I’d done it - I was in, and no-one even knew I’d bunked over the fence. 

With that I headed towards Pennards where I soon found my mates’ camp and was greeted with a hero's welcome. I quickly had a still slightly chilled can thrust into my hand and when I said I was starving I got offered food - although I turned down the Twix as I’d had enough of them by that point! 

As for the festival I had, well I can’t describe it better than Michael - it was the best one ever!

[squirrelarmy]

15 minutes ago, blutarsky said:

I got talking this evening to a friend of a friend and the topic of Glastonbury came up. I was regaled with the following story

Not a bad read. Can’t beat a bit of light fiction now and again. Just enough references to make it seem real. 

[clarkete]

4 hours ago, blutarsky said:

I got talking this evening to a friend of a friend and the topic of Glastonbury came up. I was regaled with the following story: 

Back in 2017 I had just finished University and spent a couple of months inter-railing around Europe. Like many people my age I wasn’t the best at budgeting, despite my 2:2 in politics, philosophy and economics from a former poly, had run out of money and had to head home earlier than planned. Unfortunately for me this meant my planned summer sojourn across the continent only lasted from mid-May through to the summer solstice. That meant I only spent just over a month travelling and needed to come home and find work sooner than I had originally hoped. As many students do, I’d been hoping to put off embarking on a career for a little while longer. Resigned to my fate I had boarded the Eurotunnel and travelled back under the channel and into Saint Pancras station. 

Shortly after arriving back in our nation’s capital I found myself at Paddington boarding the Penzance train headed back to my native Plymouth. Knowing how the journey ended it seems ridiculous to say it, but I had settled into my seat early and was all set to snooze for the whole journey. Yet this was not to be. 

I had been sat in my seat for a short while waiting for departure when I noticed that the carriage was filling up more than I might have perhaps expected. So many people were boarding and they all seemed to be hugely overladen. My own luggage was fairly heavy as I had an 80L backpack which I’d used throughout my travels. At least 75% of my fellow passengers had similar backpacks but were also carrying tents and crates of beer and cider. Kicking myself I realised I had inadvertently boarded the train to the west country on the last Wednesday in June. It was Glastonbury Festival weekend and I was stuck on a train full of excited festival goers while I was contemplating weeks of jobhunting ahead of me. Now, I’ve always been somewhat impulsive but what followed might have been the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done. 

Gone were any thoughts of trawling through classified adverts, writing covering letters and updating my CV. I decided there and then that I would be going to the festival, lack of a ticket notwithstanding. Three of my closest friends had tried to persuade me to buy a ticket the previous October but I'd said no as I anticipated being in Europe. Usually I would’ve agreed to go in with them as a group of four but having made my decision I wasn’t at all disappointed back in October when they were successful in the sale. Personally I’ve always been pretty good at making decisions and standing by them but this was one decision I was really regretting. 

Mind made up, I started asking around among the passengers on the train for a spare ticket. Obviously I knew this was a long shot and that even if anyone did have a ticket of someone who wasn’t coming they’d be unlikely to look like me. To my utter disbelief I actually managed to chance upon a spare ticket after asking just a few people. Unfortunately it belonged to the mum of one of the passengers, a middle-aged divorcee with a blue rinsed bob cut. At the time I was 22 and am 6 foot tall with close cropped brown hair. I also had a six week beard which I wouldn’t have been able to shave off before getting to the gate. It was a nonstarter. I continued asking around but had no luck. 

At this point I needed ideas so I turned to my faithful friend uncle Google. I searched for ways to get into Glastonbury Festival without a ticket and ended up watching a few videos on YouTube and reading several articles, most of which were about the days before the super fence. To be perfectly honest there wasn’t much of use in any of the videos or articles but the one thing I did take from them was that persistence pays off. I decided I’d keep on trying until I got in or got arrested. 

When the train pulled into Castle Cary I got off along with all the rest of the passengers leaving just a few relieved business commuters on board. All the other passengers quickly left the platform and headed towards the shuttle bus but I had to sit on a bench and think for a moment. I parked myself down and started going through my bag. What would I need for the festival, and what did I have? I decided I wouldn’t need all that much, just a few changes of clothes and some wet weather gear in case the weather turned. As luck would have it when you go travelling for what you expect to be months on end you tend to take something to cover more or less any eventuality. Obviously though, I wouldn’t want to take my entire backpack with me and be weighed down by 20kg Of gear if I was trying to out run security and bunk over a massive fence. Fortunately my backpack was an Osprey which comes with a little day bag attached to the back of the main backpack. I decided to decant a few key items into this bag and then checked my main bag into the left luggage office at Castle Cary station. I figured I would pick it up on Monday or sooner if I was unsuccessful. I turned away from the counter and nearly walked into a vending machine. On the spur of the moment I decided to buy a couple of twixes in homage to a story I’d read online about breaking into the festival. 

With that I queued up for the shuttle bus and boarded one which was a little quieter than the one my fellow train passengers had alighted. A short while later I arrived at pedestrian gate A but obviously didn’t go straight into the queues. It was around 11 am so there were a fair few people moving around but it wasn’t heaving. Rather than draw attention to myself by hanging around I decided it would be best to get out of the area. As I knew access to Pilton Village was restricted I decided it would be best to head away from the village to try and find an access point to the festival. I walked away from the gate in the opposite direction, head down and looking at my phone as I again turned to uncle Google for help. I was looking at Google Maps to try and figure out if there was a spot that would allow me to get close to the fence when I walked smack bang into a security guard. Obviously annoyed that I’d walked straight into him he wheeled on me and asked me where I thought I was going. It must’ve seemed quite strange to him that someone who had just turned up to the festival on Wednesday morning would be walking away from the main gate for entry. Fortunately I’d just been looking at the map and thought on my feet. “ I'm meeting my mates who have got my ticket,” I told him, “but they’ve ended up at gate D.” Seemingly satisfied, he told me to look where I was going in future and left me to get on my way. 

As I walked between pedestrian gate A and D it was obvious to me there probably wasn’t any way in there. The fenceline is quite exposed in that area and there are campsites on the other side which would likely be empty or at least sparsely populated at that time. I also realised it would be very difficult to get over the fence during daylight hours unless I could come up with a creative way or place of doing it. I decided to navigate my way past gate D and head towards the car park where I could legitimately be hanging out waiting for friends. I decided I’d make a plan while I was waiting there. 

I completed this next step without much trouble and found a suitable spot to sit down where I wouldn't arouse suspicion and would just look like a festival goer waiting for their friends. While sat there I pulled out my phone and turned to uncle Google again. I was soon able to find a fairly detailed map of the festival and decided on a plan of attack. When I spotted a wooded area to the south of the festival I figured it would be easiest to hide in there and get close to the fence. There was one particular spot I decided to target, as just on the other side of the fence there was a busier area which I figured I could quickly get myself lost in if I was seen going over the fence. With only 15% battery left on my phone, I made a great effort to try and memorise as much of the map as possible as I knew I’d be unlikely to get much more time looking at it. 

Heading further south around the festival boundary I prepared a story about meeting friends in the campervan fields if I needed it. Fortunately I wasn’t challenged. 

As I approached the west campers gate I realised I'd struggle for a legitimate excuse as to why I was walking past it. The next significant point I would get to would be Pennard Hill gate where Worthy View campers go in and out. Clearly it would pay not to be seen walking past. Once I was nearby I bent down and pretended to be reshuffling my backpack. No one at the gate  seemed to notice I was there so I was able to observe for a while. I guessed that most of the campervan inhabitants had already made their way onto the festival site as although there was a steady stream of people going through the gate it was relatively quiet and those that approached walked straight in. I briefly contemplated making a run for it as I figured I could out run the stewards but then noted some extra security that I hadn’t seen up until now. Getting involved in a chase, being caught and thrown out before I had a proper crack at getting in via a more subtle way didn’t seem like an appealing option. 

Having observed the gate operation for a while I realised that I would be able to walk towards the campervan field and then double back on myself once around the corner without arousing suspicion. This meant I was able to get past the camper van gate with little issue. 

However, soon after I came across a big problem. I was walking the perimeter on the track that surrounds the fence. Obviously I’ve been passed by security patrols a few times as I’d headed from pedestrian gate A to D but I had legitimate excuses for doing so and hadn’t been challenged as presumably security realised there might be good reasons to be making that walk. Now those reasons had disappeared. Consequently, I was challenged pretty quickly by a fairly hostile security detail. The two primate-like figures in the Land Rover seemed eager to catch someone trying to bunk in and I was only able to throw them off the scent by pretending to be extremely stupid. I put on a posh boy persona not unlike the one many of my course mates at uni had naturally acquired during their time at private school. As a working-class lad I’d resented their sense of entitlement and the way they seemed to breeze through life with no real clue what was going on around them, But in this moment I was grateful for it; by adopting it I was able to throw the security guards off the scent. I waffled on about making my way over to Worthy View and how I had just been on my ‘gap yah’ which seemed to satisfy them that I was unlikely to be trying to break in. They did, however, tell me there was no way I’d be able to walk there and directed me back to pedestrian gate A to catch the shuttle bus. I thanked them and turned around to head back towards West campers to rethink my plan of attack. 

With the battery slowly ebbing away on my phone I needed to sort this fast. Looking at the map I noticed a farm to the south of the festival which didn’t look like it was too far away from the perimeter. I decided that if I could get there I’d be able to approach the perimeter without having to use the boundary track patrolled by security. 

Google Maps planned a route for me and driving would only take 10 minutes. 
When the festival wasn’t on. 
But the festival was on, and traffic management routes were in operation. 
And I didn’t have a car. 
This complicated things. 

Walking the route would be sure to arouse suspicion amongst the traffic management stewards. I was pretty sure I would be picked up quite quickly if I tried that. Stumped, I sat down to rest and opened a twix. 

As luck would have it a potential answer to my problem appeared at that very moment. Two men, aged around 25 I would guess, were headed towards the gate from the campervan field on a pair of bicycles. One of them was evidently having a lot of trouble. The chain had come off and I could hear him swearing this was the third time in a couple of hundred metres. He was also muttering about the brakes not working and was shouting at his mate that they shouldn’t have bothered with them. His bike ground to a halt right in front of me and I asked if he was alright. It turned out the pair of them were staying in a rented campervan and had decided to buy second hand bikes so they could quickly get into the festival. However, one of them had bought a dud. He decided he was ditching it, and not wanting to be pushing a bike around while walking next to his mate, the other guy decided to leave his as well. “Can’t be fucked with this mate,” they told me. They evidently didn’t subscribe to the “Love the Farm, Leave No Trace” ethos! Nonetheless, their poor attitude was helpful to me! 

Five minutes later I was cycling out to the road on the good bike, having waited for them to disappear before half-inching it. Once I reached the road I turned left and headed towards the farm. Periodically I’d reach a junction manned by traffic stewards and would be asked what I was up to. I was grateful that I’d googled the farm and found out its name and the name of the family that lived there as I could give a variety of excuses and details. “I live at X farm,” I told one steward, “my name is X - you can check if you want.” I told another I worked at the farm and a third that I lived in Pilton village and was visiting my mate who lived at the farm. To my relief all of these excuses got me past the stewards with little more than a shrug. As a result after 20 minutes of peddling I found myself approaching the farm gates. 

Although it looked quiet, in fact dead, I decided it wouldn’t be best to ride right into the farmyard and so I pulled off the track and into a field a few hundred yards before reaching the farm. I stashed the bike inside a hedgerow and made sure it was well enough hidden that it was unlikely to be discovered for at least a few days. I then started creeping along the hedge with the intention of skirting around the field and into the woods. Unfortunately, the field was absolutely massive and I realised I would have to get quite close to the farmhouse to use the hedges of its garden as cover to reach the woodland. There was also a security detail on the far side of the field, although it was big enough that I was confident there was no way they would see me where I was. 

I nervously carried on edging along the hedgerow and reached the corner of the field. I dropped to my belly and crawled along the ground behind the garden hedge. I really started to sweat when I heard voices and realised there were people in the garden. Making as little noise as possible was imperative. Fortunately they seemed pretty engrossed in their conversation and were laughing and joking in anticipation of heading into the festival. I was able to get to the far side of the garden without incident. Now I needed to make a 30 metre dash to reach the woods. I looked around and didn’t think there was anyone who would see me as long as I kept low. Taking one last deep breath I leapt up and ran for it. I don’t think I breathed in until I reached the woods and flung myself on the ground behind an old oak. 

Now I was in the woodland I felt relatively secure but would still have to proceed with caution. I took my phone out of my pocket and realised I’d made the mistake of leaving Google Maps running and had nearly completely drained the battery. With just 2% left I text my friends to find out if they’d got on site yet and made camp. I also checked Google maps again and noted my position - it would be the last look I'd get and I needed to move a few hundred metres east if I was to get to my planned access point. I then waited nervously for a reply from my friends while praying my phone wouldn’t die before it arrived, and eating a twix. Thankfully they replied pretty quickly and the message flashed up, “yeah, got our normal spot at the top of Pennards…”. The phone died before I could read any more - but it didn’t matter, I knew roughly where to find them and I also knew they’d have their flag above camp, massive Wolves fans that they are. 

While sitting there I noticed a Land Rover pass by about 20 metres ahead of me through the trees. I waited for the next one which came around 10 minutes later, followed by another 10 minutes after that. I decided I would only move for five minutes at a time, waiting for a Land Rover to pass before moving, hiding again and then waiting for the next to pass me by. In this fashion I was able to cover a couple hundred metres in about 45 minutes, using the pauses while waiting for Land Rovers to pass as an opportunity to scope out what was ahead. I passed a lookout tower on the perimeter shortly after setting out and I decided I would continue past my intended point of attack to see where the next guard tower was. It turned out this was around 100 metres past my planned access point away so I figured my initial hunch of where to try and bunk over the fence had worked out. It was pretty much equidistant from the two lookout towers and had some vegetation on the other side of it. Below the vegetation was a campsite which I figured I’d be able to disappear into, before coming out the other side and heading towards Pennards. 

By now it was around 3pm and I didn’t fancy waiting seven hours for nightfall before making my attempt. I figured security would be more on guard once the sun went down and also that they were unlikely to expect someone to try and get over the fence during daylight hours on the first day of the festival. With this in mind I edged towards the fence and hid myself in a ditch only a metre or so away from the perimeter track. I hunkered down and covered myself with some branches and waited a few moments for the next Land Rover to pass. After I’d done so I popped my head up to properly survey the fence. One thing I hadn’t accounted for was the fact it was fucking massive. Although I’m pretty fit and agile I’d have had to have been able to jump my own height to reach the top and scale it. 

I looked around me for anything I could use to try and get over. There was nothing immediately obvious so I headed back into the thicker part of the woods. After a little bit of scouting around I found a thick fallen branch which had a few spurs coming off it which I thought I’d be able to use as a ladder of sorts. Just as I went to pick it up my heart froze, as I heard barking close by. I glanced up and saw a farmer in the field on the other side of the woods with his dog, and the dog was running towards me barking. I dropped to my belly and immediately stopped breathing. The farmer was shouting for his dog to come back but I was worried it would be obvious he had found something. I decided the only way out of this was to try and get the dog to shut up so as it approached me I reached out my hand and asked it if it was a good boy. I tickled his chin and rubbed his belly and the barking stopped. The farmer then put his fingers to his mouth and made a high-pitched whistle which got the dog to jump up and run back to him. He looked suspiciously over but as I was hidden by some shrubs he didn’t see me and he decided not to investigate. He and his dog continued on their way but I decided it would be safest to stay still for a while. I tucked into another Twix to spike my blood sugar levels and counteract the adrenaline coursing through my body. 

When I felt enough time had passed I collected my new branch-cum-ladder and headed back towards the drainage ditch. As I approached I had to quickly duck behind a tree while one of the Land Rovers went past and then settled myself into the drainage ditch, covered myself in some branches and decided to wait for the next one to go past before making my attempt. 

True to form 10 minutes later another Land Rover passed me by as I held my breath. I waited for it to disappear out of view and I was up, dashing across the track to the super fence. I leant my branch up against it and started trying to scramble up it. Immediately disaster befell me as the bottom foot snapped off sending me tumbling to the ground. I quickly jumped back up and decided I had two options: persist with this attempt or head back to the woods and regroup. 

Impatient to be inside the festival I just decided to continue. I propped the branch back up and gingerly climbed up leaning on the fence with my hands for additional support. As I reached the top of the branch I could just about touch the top of the fence with my fingertips and realised I’d have to launch myself upwards and grab hold. This was high risk as I could easily fall and hurt myself if I missed my grab and I’d also be unlikely to be able to get the branch back away from the fence and hidden in the ditch again before the next Land Rover. I went for it. 

Fortunately I got just enough leverage before the branch slipped away from underneath me and I was able to get my hands over the top of the fence and grab on for all I was worth. I was able to pull myself up and hook my arm over the top, then the other one so my armpits were hooked over the fence. I swung my leg up to the side and over so I was lying on top of the fence just-in-time to see a Land Rover starting to appear in the distance. I looked down and was able to see another track on the inside of the perimeter and I dropped down to it. Just a few yards away were some bushes so I plunged into them. 

As far as I was aware no one had seen me so I decided to stay still for a moment. I was expecting the Land Rover on the other side of the fence to stop and investigate this branch that I had left next to the fence but to my relief I heard it cruise on by. From memory I was now in a public part of the festival but not immediately near any camping. I decided it would be best to get as near to a campsite as possible before emerging from the bushes to avoid arousing suspicion. I moved downhill through the vegetation, progressing slowly and surveying what was ahead of me at all times. Fortunately there didn't appear to be anyone there. When I reached the end of it I paused to look around and mercifully couldn’t see any security or stewards. I stepped out and briskly walked away, managing to avoid attracting anyone’s attention apart from one old boy who smiled wryly and tapped his nose.

I’d done it - I was in, and no-one even knew I’d bunked over the fence. 

With that I headed towards Pennards where I soon found my mates’ camp and was greeted with a hero's welcome. I quickly had a still slightly chilled can thrust into my hand and when I said I was starving I got offered food - although I turned down the Twix as I’d had enough of them by that point! 

As for the festival I had, well I can’t describe it better than Michael - it was the best one ever!

Did you believe it? 

I'm not usually that sceptical about these, but bloody hell that sounds like fiction to me 😁

[gfa]

There's nothing i love more than seeing this thread bumped

[jimmillen]

1 hour ago, clarkete said:

Did you believe it? 

I'm not usually that sceptical about these, but bloody hell that sounds like fiction to me 😁

No left luggage facilities at Castle Cary for a start… 😂

[squirrelarmy]

13 minutes ago, jimmillen said:

No left luggage facilities at Castle Cary for a start… 😂

It was the Wolves flag that sealed the fiction for me. Everyone knows it never leaves the front of the pyramid stage. 

[clarkete]

40 minutes ago, jimmillen said:

No left luggage facilities at Castle Cary for a start… 😂

Ah good spot. 

 

I thought the unsubtle use of twix

[al_coholic]

1 hour ago, gfa said:

There's nothing i love more than seeing this thread bumped

I used to like the one with the photo of the boy with no legs as well. But sadly I haven't seen that for a very long time.

[gfa]

3 minutes ago, al_coholic said:

I used to like the one with the photo of the boy with no legs as well. But sadly I haven't seen that for a very long time.

Hopefully someone can find it and post it here!

[Crazyfool01]

5 minutes ago, al_coholic said:

I used to like the one with the photo of the boy with no legs as well. But sadly I haven't seen that for a very long time.

it was posted not so long ago ... 

[al_coholic]

Just now, crazyfool1 said:

it was posted not so long ago ... 

I didn't spot it, but if remember rightly the photos had been archived, so it is back to how it was all those years ago?

[Crazyfool01]

Just now, al_coholic said:

I didn't spot it, but if remember rightly the photos had been archived, so it is back to how it was all those years ago?

bumped it 

[irnkrtn]

1 hour ago, jimmillen said:

No left luggage facilities at Castle Cary for a start… 😂

That sealed it for me! Can't see you making it to Castle Cary by 11 from the first train from Brussels or Paris either! I can't think of a former poly that offers PPE either... lovely story mind. 

Edited April 16, 2022 by irnkrtn