Overheard Funnies 2022

[Quark]

We had a heavy one on Wednesday night. One of my habits on my first day / night is to spend 90% of my time in a panic thinking I've lost something, only to later discover it somewhere obvious. Standard first night behaviour for me. This included not being able to find my pint cup, and running (yes, running) from Greenpeace back to a cocktail bar somewhere around West Holts to find it. It was in my rucksack, obviously.

Camping in Lime Kiln, woke up on Thursday morning to hear the mother in the group of our new neighbours saying over breakfast "I heard someone really late last night saying he'd left his rucksack over in the Park and was going to go and get it. Surely no-one would be silly enough to leave a rucksack behind that far away?"

At which point I unzipped my tent and stuck my hungover horses arse looking face out of the tent and replied "That'll be me".

The expression on her face suggested that in the space of a few seconds, she really understood who would be silly enough to do a thing like that.

Also, the bag was in my tent. Luckily I'd realised before I ran across site.

Edited June 30, 2022 by Quark

[Quark]

Watching Sama' Abdulhadi:

"That was amazing, he just MC'd that perfectly, completely live"

Who did?

"The guy in the DJ booth with the microphone"

That's a can of Stella.

"No, it's a mic"

At which point the guy took a swig from his "microphone"...

He was also convinced there was a face in the Greenpeace tree

[dizzymoo]

4 minutes ago, Quark said:

Watching Sama' Abdulhadi:

"That was amazing, he just MC'd that perfectly, completely live"

Who did?

"The guy in the DJ booth with the microphone"

That's a can of Stella.

"No, it's a mic"

At which point the guy took a swig from his "microphone"...

He was also convinced there was a face in the Greenpeace tree

Tbf isn't there a sound desk in the trunk of the tree? Have seen people looking out from there.  Or maybe he thought the tree was an Ent.

Seen rather than overheard:  at The Longest Johns' storming set at Avalon, a dad in front of me was really enjoying himself.  His little girl in the carrier on his back was much more interested in a slice of pizza, but each time she tried to take a bite she missed as Dad would start bouncing again.  She seemed quite happy though, up for the challenge of getting on the outside of the pizza

[Quark]

43 minutes ago, dizzymoo said:

Tbf isn't there a sound desk in the trunk of the tree? Have seen people looking out from there.  Or maybe he thought the tree was an Ent.

Seen rather than overheard:  at The Longest Johns' storming set at Avalon, a dad in front of me was really enjoying himself.  His little girl in the carrier on his back was much more interested in a slice of pizza, but each time she tried to take a bite she missed as Dad would start bouncing again.  She seemed quite happy though, up for the challenge of getting on the outside of the pizza

Nope, not a little normal human face. A big creepy nightmare fuel tree face 😄

[philipsteak]

21 hours ago, idontgetoutmuch said:

Overheard on the entrance to the southeast corner at 2am Monday morning - 

The thing is that I really like it over here but I also really like being in my own bed.

I can very much relate

[PassingCloud]

Was just looking at the map drawing we bought at Glastonbury and my son said ‘West Holts, that’s where they play all the cyber-music’. (He meant Bonobo and Bicep) 

I’m calling it Cyber-Music from now on. 

[deebeedoobee]

Not an overheard funny but this was posted on Pilton village faceache page

”We have found a goat which in now at red gate of the festival site we would like to return it to its owners asap”

Think he got his dates wrong.

[nikkic]

3 minutes ago, deebeedoobee said:

Not an overheard funny but this was posted on Pilton village faceache page

”We have found a goat which in now at red gate of the festival site we would like to return it to its owners asap”

Think he got his dates wrong.

Elton arriving a year too soon. 

[noplacelikehome]

On 6/30/2022 at 1:16 PM, Toilet Duck said:

A mate popped out of his tent one morning and went for the full Timotei effect with his 2 litre water bottle. Straight over the head, with an accompanying shake. Was his vodka. Stung his sunburnt noggin and open eyes like hell (but hilarious for us). Worst, he did exactly the same thing the next bloody day! 

2019 I managed to fill a kettle with gin to make some tea in the morning, sat there for ages wondering why it was taking so long to boil and why I could smell booze. 

[Toilet Duck]

15 minutes ago, noplacelikehome said:

2019 I managed to fill a kettle with gin to make some tea in the morning, sat there for ages wondering why it was taking so long to boil and why I could smell booze. 

😂

[philipsteak]

16 minutes ago, noplacelikehome said:

2019 I managed to fill a kettle with gin to make some tea in the morning, sat there for ages wondering why it was taking so long to boil and why I could smell booze. 

How was the tea? 

[Jacksamthompson]

17 hours ago, noplacelikehome said:

2019 I managed to fill a kettle with gin to make some tea in the morning, sat there for ages wondering why it was taking so long to boil and why I could smell booze. 

Oh thats why they call it a G & Tea

[shuttlep]

at the urinals at the pyramid.

 

guy #1 " shit Dave my piss is green"

guy #2 " you've got your  sunglasses on "

guy # 1 "  thank god for that"

[Padgey]

Lad in the tent next to us (first timers) says to his mate while unpacking "I've got Sudocrem for any rashes we might get"

[thrillhouse188]

On 6/28/2022 at 6:59 PM, Lucy92 said:

‘Someone must have a birthday, there’s lots of balloons around’

We were joking about this all weekend! Eventually started singing happy birthday whenever we heard a canister go. Where abouts did you hear it? 

[Funkyfairy!]

Compost toilets, Stone circle day one -  Wednesday 

Very well dressed lady queuing and her friend comes up to her 

Lady 1 - I've just been asked to take a cup of sawdust to the toilet

Lady 2 - oh no , oh no, now thats just a step too far ! Really a step too far..............

 

I wonder how long they lasted at the festival 🙂 

[Mr Cake]

Thursday night on the Greenpeace stage watching Jon Carter watching a group of five 18-21 years (at a guess) trying to work out how to use a disposable camera.  5 minutes starting at it, looking through it and shaking it young lad finally noticed the wind on.  Made me feel really old (39) but hilarious to watch.

[nikkic]

2 minutes ago, Mr Cake said:

Thursday night on the Greenpeace stage watching Jon Carter watching a group of five 18-21 years (at a guess) trying to work out how to use a disposable camera.  5 minutes starting at it, looking through it and shaking it young lad finally noticed the wind on.  Made me feel really old (39) but hilarious to watch.

Bizarrely noticed a lot of people using disposable cameras across the weekend. 

Is this some sort of new trend? 

[thrillhouse188]

Just now, nikkic said:

Bizarrely noticed a lot of people using disposable cameras across the weekend. 

Is this some sort of new trend? 

Yeah I think a lot of gen Z-ers are into it, my gf is a photographer and apparently getting hold of film is a nightmare atm!

[Crazyfool01]

Just now, thrillhouse188 said:

Yeah I think a lot of gen Z-ers are into it, my gf is a photographer and apparently getting hold of film is a nightmare atm!

I saw someone waving taking photos on an instant camera and waving the photos about untill they developed … there is something about having hard copies of photos … but not quite sure about this method … 

[Quark]

Up in the Park..

"So you're learning to be a shaman? You'll be a shaman when you finish the course?"

"Oh no, I can't be a shaman. I'm not of the bloodline.  They're just imparting some knowledge to me."

[not worthy]

Sunday around 10am 

Chap walking by on phone - more a guess the response than anything but it made me smile

"Hi babe.

Yep I'm fine.

Think I lost my wallet last night.

No, I wasn't"

[Jay Pee]

23 hours ago, Funkyfairy! said:

Compost toilets, Stone circle day one -  Wednesday 

Very well dressed lady queuing and her friend comes up to her 

Lady 1 - I've just been asked to take a cup of sawdust to the toilet

Lady 2 - oh no , oh no, now thats just a step too far ! Really a step too far..............

 

I wonder how long they lasted at the festival 🙂 

[gherring8]

I overheard two boys in their 20s talking about using the compost toilets.

Boy 1 said "mate, I've reached a new low. But don't tell anyone else ok."

Boy 2 agreed not to say anything.

Boy 1 "I was absolutely bursting so had to go. Only once I had finished my poo did I realise I didn't have anything to wipe with. So... I'm not proud of this but I had to use some floor paper."

Boy 2 " YOU USED SOME MISCELLANEOUS BOG ROLL OFF THE TOILET FLOOR!" "That is a step too far. Not sure I can ever look you in the eye again".

[CaledonianGonzo]

Those are, very specifically, the Glastonbury composters.