Overheard at Glastonbury 2023

[deebeedoobee]

What funnies did you hear? What snippets of conversations made you smile?

I heard:

girl to boy she was with “ don’t scratch that bite, because it’ll become infected, then you’ll get sepsis, then you’ll die and I’ll never get to see Elton! “

[Xeph1995]

Heard a young lad talking to his mates on Saturday sayin "I've not drank any water for 4 days haha" 

All I could think of was enjoy your heat stroke idiot. 

[Neil]

no a funny but i overhead a couple talking excitedly about having met joe wicks. every time he tried to wrap up the convo and move onto something else she'd find something else to say about joe.

[she bangs the drums]

As i walking out of the crowd for Generation X after they had just finished their set, some middle class posh middle aged man was shouting at Billy Idol when are you playing 'My Wedding'.....must have had to many pimms

Edited June 26, 2023 by she bangs the drums
Update

[dotdash79]

Not overheard but my wife asked me 3 times if I thought the lightning seeds would play four lions. 

[fingers_mark]

Towards the back at Elton, group of around 12 comes in around halfway through the set. Mix of ages. Youngish girl, probably around 14 or 15, sat on shoulders of a guy. Turns around and shouts to them all. 

'Did you know something? You know Elton is gay,right? Yeah, he's got a husband and everything!'

Naively funny and sweet.

[Avalon_Fields]

We stay at a local pub on the Monday night, have for years.

The young chef brings out the menu. I ask what’s the chicken curry like? She replies, I wouldn’t have that if I were you! Later, on trying to come up with a vegetarian option, she comes out of the kitchen with a frozen thing, and asks us - Any idea what this is? 

[Another eforum account]

Random snatches of mashed up convo - “his bollock was hanging out the net of his shorts, strangled & roaming free.. (other person) that’s not the stone circle vibe is it” Whilst someone else walking the other way was “yeah I kind of really like baba ganosh”

[briddj]

Two mates talking as we walked past.

"Has your missus ever walked in on you having a w*nk?"

Didn't hear the answer...

[Beaver89]

"Are you going to try not to sh*t down your leg tonight?"

There was another that made me absolutely howl right there and then (as opposed to the usual quiet chuckle) but can't remember it for the life of me. 

[concerned]

I was in the toilet when someone entered the cubicle next door. I heard them quietly say 'oh god' then spin round, walk out and shout to their mate 'i need a cleaner one!' their mate (a woman) shouted you've got a dick, use it! He shouted back 'I just want to have a sit down wee at Glastonbury you c**t!' 

[airwaves]

Walking from Silver Hayes towards Paines (that's beyond the Coop) 

Passing the Oxylers camping, around 2am. Bloke stood at a tent, in a campsite-waking loud voice:-

"You back then? You shagging?" 

Edited June 26, 2023 by airwaves
Typo

[waltere]

Bottom of the stone circle field Wednesday lunchtime: "Yeah, you need some casual racism occasionally, just to keep people on their toes"

[The Pompey Mascot]

heard someone say 'Can't believe how brown I am just from sitting in the sun'

[dingbat2]

It wasn't at Glastonbury, and it wasn't this year, but on returning from Glasto last year, I played back Macca's set on telly and when Golden Slumbers came on my wife said "Why is he doing an Elbow cover?"

Had been married 26 years then but it nearly all came crashing down at that point

....Have been married 27 years now I am glad to say

[SighMo]

Heard this old guy by the icecream van shouting into his phone explaining that he’s at the Pyramid, the pointy one 🤣

[Quark]

13 hours ago, waltere said:

Bottom of the stone circle field Wednesday lunchtime: "Yeah, you need some casual racism occasionally, just to keep people on their toes"

Still my favourite, was chuckling for hours after you told me that one

[Quark]

Guy I think taking his mate round on his first time. Passes Greenpeace, tells him "So that's the rave tree, it's quality. Gets lit up at night and they've got a DJ booth in there". Slight pause. "It's not a real tree though".

[Sasperella2]

Our friend's reply via whatsapp:

"We're contemplating life on the hill at Strummerville" 

"Haven't heard of Life on the Hill, what sort of music do they play?" 

[theesundayroast]

13 hours ago, waltere said:

Bottom of the stone circle field Wednesday lunchtime: "Yeah, you need some casual racism occasionally, just to keep people on their toes"

It's very possible this was the friend I was with, around the time they we're beginning the ceremony in the center if i remember correctly. Safe to say he was already a few drinks in 

[Petrifish]

Incredible conversation about nicknames in the camp next to us.

"I have a friend called Spags"

"Why is he called that?"

"He just really likes Spag bol"

Had me in stitches most of the weekend

[pie_and_a_pint]

15 hours ago, Neil said:

no a funny but i overhead a couple talking excitedly about having met joe wicks. every time he tried to wrap up the convo and move onto something else she'd find something else to say about joe.

Someone on my litterpicking team talked about nothing else but Joe Wicks all weekend. Obsessed! 

[eatingglitter]

15 hours ago, she bangs the drums said:

As i walking out of the crowd for Generation X after they had just finished their set, some middle class posh middle aged man was shouting at Billy Idol when are you playing 'My Wedding'.....must have had to many pimms

Haha! I heard this one too. 😂

[pie_and_a_pint]

Overheard, near the food stalls at Williams Green, where loud music is playing at the Meeting Place Bar. A couple with a child about four in a trolley. 

Woman: Ugh! Simon! Put the ear defenders on her please!

Simon: Why? It’s not that loud?

Woman: No, I don’t want her hearing this song… 

The song?? Bill Wyman’s Si, Si, Je Suis Un Rockstar…

[Crazyfool01]

That guys got a stage on his head …. Which one is it ?