2025 Headliners

[Andy0808 v5]

Make it happen.

[incident]

1 minute ago, dotdash79 said:

I thought they did that as the music festivals needed licensing but art festivals didn’t under the then new criminal justice act. 

 

Yeah - couldn't remember the specific driver behind it, but it was claimed to be licence related in some way so the CJA makes sense.

[Gejonimo]

Just get Gary Vee doing a 60-minute talk for Sunday night and have done with it. 

[Neil]

5 hours ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

Could the Blue Man Group headline?

old hat and would work best in a tent as done at the big chill years ago.

[Superscally]

Just have live action Gladiators

[charlierc]

11 hours ago, FrogLobster said:

Hans Zimmer for headliner. Thoughts?

I saw an orchestra playing film scores and classical pieces at Truck Festival and it was awesome, but headliner? Ambitious much?

[charlierc]

5 hours ago, Andy0808 v5 said:

Make it happen.

Just remember not to make him a secret set. He hates to turn up out of the blue uninvited. 

[CaledonianGonzo]

West Holts is maybe a better location for Fünke music.

[Euphoricape]

Its about time Cypress Hill with the London Philharmonic Orchestra performing Black Sunday in full headlined the Pyramid. 

 

 

Edited August 20 by Euphoricape

[Superscally]

1 hour ago, charlierc said:

I saw an orchestra playing film scores and classical pieces at Truck Festival and it was awesome, but headliner? Ambitious much?

It was...alright. 

[Ayrshire Chris]

2 hours ago, Superscally said:

Just have live action Gladiators

Ideal for the temple 

[charlierc]

1 hour ago, Superscally said:

It was...alright. 

Clearly I enjoyed it more. Oh well.

[FKA SOSOTWS]

16 hours ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

Ths site's right wingers are still not beating the weirdo allegations.

 

Can't speak about the leanings of other users here, but not good to necessarily assume that everybody who is against superficial idpol doctrines is a right winger.

[FKA SOSOTWS]

On 8/19/2024 at 2:38 PM, MEGATRONICMEATWAGON said:

All the chat about DEI/representation got me thinking about all the ethnicities of the headliners since The Turning Point (Jay-Z year in 2008), so I went and investigated. All the members for each band/group/artists - all of the f**kers. It took some time. Some have mixed heritage mind you, so for example, in the case of Beyonce, she has black and Spanish heritage, I marked it in both. Who knew Chris Martin's mum was from Rhodesia? A state that doesn't even exist anymore! How's that for having diversity on the stage for 2024! Massive lack of Arabic and West Asian bands at the top of the tree. Appalling in fact, especially when considering that a virtual band like the Gorillaz have bloody done it. White Irish on the other hand are massively overrepresented if you factor in the British and Irish population differences. Disgusting.

 

Not all the pie slices have their label, but you can find out more here - 

https://www.meta-chart.com/share/ethnicity-of-glastonbury-headliners-since-2008

 

 

 

Lmao this is great. 

 

[Superscally]

8 minutes ago, charlierc said:

Clearly I enjoyed it more. Oh well.

😘

[Iphigenia]

23 hours ago, MEGATRONICMEATWAGON said:

 

I dunno, it's not the BBC Proms. Plus, with all the relevant lads crying foul over a band from 20 years ago, I don't think music, ballet, or a show written in the 1800s will go down too well either.

 

For T&C, I think you could make a case for having longer performances sometimes or more amateur dramatics from around the area coming in and performing for an hour at a time.

 

 

23 hours ago, GrumpyRaver said:

Would be a great way to kill off the festival.

 

I think you're all forgetting how painfully few people were there for the super trendy modern act SZA. I think lessons have to be learnt about the Glastonbury audience after that one. 

 

The BBC would eat up a big orchestra headlining with an ensemble cast of special guests (even contemporary musicians singing with classical backing). I guarantee you that would bring in more of a crowd/more viewing figures. Because, let's face it, it wouldn't couldn't draw less of a crowd, could it?

[Iphigenia]

13 hours ago, charlierc said:

I saw an orchestra playing film scores and classical pieces at Truck Festival and it was awesome, but headliner? Ambitious much?

 

Oh yeah, which orchestra was that? Vienna Philharmonic?

 

I think a lot of people on here who grew up getting off their face and dancing around to Happy Mondays probably don't have much of a grasp of wider musical delicacies that other people have sampled. Let's face it, the musical spectrum discussed here is very narrow, and Glastonbury is very middle class now. 

[GrumpyRaver]

20 hours ago, giantkatestacks said:

We have talked on here before about the possibility of huge comedy headliners that normally do stadiums.

Yeh, that wouldn’t work either.

[GrumpyRaver]

30 minutes ago, Iphigenia said:

 

 

 

I think you're all forgetting how painfully few people were there for the super trendy modern act SZA. I think lessons have to be learnt about the Glastonbury audience after that one. 

 

The BBC would eat up a big orchestra headlining with an ensemble cast of special guests (even contemporary musicians singing with classical backing). I guarantee you that would bring in more of a crowd/more viewing figures. Because, let's face it, it wouldn't couldn't draw less of a crowd, could it?

I’m not forgetting that in the slightest. It’s exactly why it’s not going to happen. As you say, they need to pay attention and book headliners that will be popular. An orchestra, ballet, opera, theatre, comedy or any such batshit idea is most certainly not what the audience, at the festival or at home, wants.  You seem to be conflating what you like/want with what the wider audience wants, with absolutely zero evidence to base that on.

 

And I work for the BBC - we absolutely wouldn’t “eat up” an orchestral headliner.  We like things that people will tune into in their millions.  It wouldn’t come anywhere near the viewing figures for Coldplay or Dua. Or Billie, or Kendrick, or Macca, or Elton, or even Guns n Roses. It wouldn’t even get as many viewers as Sza.

[MEGATRONICMEATWAGON]

57 minutes ago, Iphigenia said:

 

 

 

I think you're all forgetting how painfully few people were there for the super trendy modern act SZA. I think lessons have to be learnt about the Glastonbury audience after that one. 

 

The BBC would eat up a big orchestra headlining with an ensemble cast of special guests (even contemporary musicians singing with classical backing). I guarantee you that would bring in more of a crowd/more viewing figures. Because, let's face it, it wouldn't couldn't draw less of a crowd, could it?

 

Just because SZA drew a poor crowd doesn't mean the festival should abandon their principles and do something totally out of the box. The other two nights were fine with Dua and Coldplay. All other previous headliners since the BBC started broadcasting have been fine too.

 

Plus, PJ Harvey and Janelle Monae also had tiny crowds. Should Glasto just abandon the whole Sunday and put on:

 

Macbeth > Madame Butterfly > Swan Lake > London Symphony Orchestra? 

 

Nah.

 

SZA fell flat, but I don't think it was because she was super trendy or modern - the fest has heaps of super trendy acts on and they also do just fine. I think not enough people knew who she was from the beginning, checked her out, and then still didn't like what they heard on the Spotify for their Sunday night headliner. It was a punt that went wrong, for whatever reason.

 

Next year, with all of them getting moderately good 60-70k crowds:

 

Fri: Fred                  

Sat: Rhianna           
Sun: Eminem

 

 

 

Edited August 21 by MEGATRONICMEATWAGON

[MEGATRONICMEATWAGON]

11 hours ago, SwallowOrSleepOnTheWetSpot said:

 

Can't speak about the leanings of other users here, but not good to necessarily assume that everybody who is against superficial idpol doctrines is a right winger.

 

Doesn't matter. If you judge people on qualifications and character, you are automatically a right-winger these days.

 

Just like Martin Luther King - he is now as right-wing as you can get.

[Kalopsia]

Taylor Swift may do a select run of shows.

Superbowl

Glasto?

BST (10 years since she last played it)

 

[CaledonianGonzo]

6 minutes ago, MEGATRONICMEATWAGON said:

 

Doesn't matter. If you judge people on qualifications and character, you are automatically a right-winger these days.

 

Just like Martin Luther King - he is now as right-wing as you can get.

 

Thing is, that exact MLK quote you posted is in fact used by right-wingers all the time. It strips away the context and boils down an entire lifetime of activism into a soundbite that makes it sound like on the same side as white supremacists.

 

As an example, here's Stephen Miller doing it:

 

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2021/04/stephen-miller-cites-mlk-in-suit-alleging-anti-white-racism.html

 

It is the only thing more predictable than wanging on about merit.

[Gnomicide]

1 hour ago, MEGATRONICMEATWAGON said:

Fri: Fred                  

Sat: Rhianna           
Sun: Eminem

 

 

[MEGATRONICMEATWAGON]

1 hour ago, Gnomicide said:

 

 

😂