Your funny/random Glasto stories, let's have them.

[j00nbrains]

To distract from the endless refreshing of the weather thread, trying to cram everything into our packing, making to-the-minute itineraries and procrastinating away the last working days before the festival, lets hear some stories!

 

I'll start us off:

 

2 years ago I managed to get into the backstage area behind West Holts because while walking to the toilets I found a mole (alive!) wandering across the busy path, so rescued it and presented it to the security guard. After a moment of extreme confusion he let me back to go and place it into some of the bushes 😅.

 

I didn't have my phone or anybody else with me, needless to say I was told by my friends that it might be time to slow down on the ciders!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

I've got a few moles in my garden.

 

I don't suppose you'd ...........................

 

PS - Nice one on saving the mole. I tried to save a load of frogs on the path at the Equinox Festival. It's was only when my mate got a stranger to confirm with me that there were no frogs did I let up my attempts to save them. 

[kalifire]

At a certain point last year, like most of us I suppose, I was bursting for the loo. I didn’t have a long drop nearby, wasn’t going to bank on there being no queues if I dashed for one, and certainly wasn’t going to pee on the farm. I was also out of Travel Johns, so my only real option was to try for a toilet where I wasn’t strictly supposed to go. 
 

I was in the SE corner, which for reasons unknown to me but would soon become apparent, was very busy. I spotted an old lady guarding a backstage entrance, whose job it was to check wristbands. In a fleeting move, I waited until others were occupying her attention, and moved behind them, flashing my wrist and a ‘not this again, I wish I could be anywhere else’ expression, and before I knew it, I was somewhere I had no right to be.

 

After a mad dash for the toilet, I realised I was now somewhere worth exploring. I strode quickly and purposefully, maintaining my ‘I’m supposed to be here, and it’s all getting old’ expression, and noticed I was receiving no pushback from any security, presumably because they all thought previous security had already done their job. So I gathered my bearings and moved past further security, exchanging a knowing nod. 
 

At this point I was inside a venue, backstage. I wasn’t sure where, but there was a black curtain being guarded by a final high-vis. I’d entered full ‘f**k it’ mode, and gave the same nod as the curtain was opened to me. I climbed some stairs, and this was my view.

 

 

I’d managed to amble straight into the DJ booth at The Blessed Madonna and Fred Again’s secret set at The Temple.

 

I couldn’t believe it. I stood there for several minutes, taking photos and video like I was there for a purpose, all the while marvelling at the moment. There was a point where TBM gave me a proper ‘who the hell are you?’ glance, and I smiled back but I don’t think I appeased her.

 

Eventually a high-vis tapped me on the arm and gestured for me to leave. I didn’t want to push it, so I gestured as if to say ‘yeah mate, my job’s done anyway’ and left. 
 

I walked back out into the public area, wide eyed and buzzing, empty bladdered, and ready to party. 

Edited June 19 by kalifire

[Lucy92]

47 minutes ago, kalifire said:

At a certain point last year, like most of us I suppose, I was bursting for the loo. I didn’t have a long drop nearby, wasn’t going to bank on there being no queues if I dashed for one, and certainly wasn’t going to pee on the farm. I was also out of Travel Johns, so my only real option was to try for a toilet where I wasn’t strictly supposed to go. 
 

I was in the SE corner, which for reasons unknown to me but would soon become apparent, was very busy. I spotted an old lady guarding a backstage entrance, whose job it was to check wristbands. In a fleeting move, I waited until others were occupying her attention, and moved behind them, flashing my wrist and a ‘not this again, I wish I could be anywhere else’ expression, and before I knew it, I was somewhere I had no right to be.

 

After a mad dash for the toilet, I realised I was now somewhere worth exploring. I strode quickly and purposefully, maintaining my ‘I’m supposed to be here, and it’s all getting old’ expression, and noticed I was receiving no pushback from any security, presumably because they all thought previous security had already done their job. So I gathered my bearings and moved past further security, exchanging a knowing nod. 
 

At this point I was inside a venue, backstage. I wasn’t sure where, but there was a black curtain being guarded by a final high-vis. I’d entered full ‘f**k it’ mode, and gave the same nod as the curtain was opened to me. I climbed some stairs, and this was my view.

 

 

I’d managed to amble straight into the DJ booth at The Blessed Madonna and Fred Again’s secret set at The Temple.

 

I couldn’t believe it. I stood there for several minutes, taking photos and video like I was there for a purpose, all the while marvelling at the moment. There was a point where TBM gave me a proper ‘who the hell are you?’ glance, and I smiled back but I don’t think I appeased her.

 

Eventually a high-vis tapped me on the arm and gestured for me to leave. I didn’t want to push it, so I gestured as if to say ‘yeah mate, my job’s done anyway’ and left. 
 

I walked back out into the public area, wide eyed and buzzing, empty bladdered, and ready to party. 

This is bloody brilliant! 

[nowyouregideon]

One of my favourite sights was a handful of people asked a stranger to take a photo of them. As they were doing so a second stranger asked if the group wanted them to take the picture for them so the first person could get in it onstead. He was trying to explain he didn't know them but the group waved him into the picture.

 

A second person came over to offer to take it, same thing happened. Then another, then another. Group photo was massive by the end of it.

 

Great bit.

[The Nal]

This one always deserves an outing

 

 

 

Edited June 19 by The Nal

[cp89]

Can't remember the year, but I was around the food stalls between Other and Silver Hayes late at night and heard one half of a phone conversation:

 

"You're where?"

 

"Where's that?"

 

"Oh ffs Glastonbury! Why is everything so far?!"

[Gutterflower]

More random than funny. Although it does make me smile to this day 

 

One year while much younger and more up for overly drunken adventures I lost my nice little compact canon camera.

 

I woke up the next morning with no real memory of losing it and dispaired. I had no real expectations of getting the thing back at a festival the size of glasto but I made the trek up to the farmhouse and left it's description at lost and found anyway.

 

Several hours later I got a call from the farmhouse to say my camera had been handed in. Somewhat amazed I wondered back up the hill and retrieved what was indeed my camera.

 

It turned out 2 random ladies had found my camera somewhere and decided to take it on their night out before handing it in the next morning. The camera memory card had tons of images of them at random spots around the festival site.

 

And in the background of one of those photos (several hours after they found the camera) there was me and my friends drunkenly trudging past. So close but so far.

 

Never did find out who those girls were but I still owe them a beer.

[Neil]

the first year efestivals covered Glastonbury we had just one highly prized digital camera (as that was all we could afford), and the lovely cath (rest her soul) went off with it and came back very sheepish, she'd gone to use a long drop and had dropped it down the long drop it was never seen again. not a great start to things.

[Talcroft]

2 hours ago, kalifire said:

At a certain point last year, like most of us I suppose, I was bursting for the loo. I didn’t have a long drop nearby, wasn’t going to bank on there being no queues if I dashed for one, and certainly wasn’t going to pee on the farm. I was also out of Travel Johns, so my only real option was to try for a toilet where I wasn’t strictly supposed to go. 
 

I was in the SE corner, which for reasons unknown to me but would soon become apparent, was very busy. I spotted an old lady guarding a backstage entrance, whose job it was to check wristbands. In a fleeting move, I waited until others were occupying her attention, and moved behind them, flashing my wrist and a ‘not this again, I wish I could be anywhere else’ expression, and before I knew it, I was somewhere I had no right to be.

 

After a mad dash for the toilet, I realised I was now somewhere worth exploring. I strode quickly and purposefully, maintaining my ‘I’m supposed to be here, and it’s all getting old’ expression, and noticed I was receiving no pushback from any security, presumably because they all thought previous security had already done their job. So I gathered my bearings and moved past further security, exchanging a knowing nod. 
 

At this point I was inside a venue, backstage. I wasn’t sure where, but there was a black curtain being guarded by a final high-vis. I’d entered full ‘f**k it’ mode, and gave the same nod as the curtain was opened to me. I climbed some stairs, and this was my view.

 

 

I’d managed to amble straight into the DJ booth at The Blessed Madonna and Fred Again’s secret set at The Temple.

 

I couldn’t believe it. I stood there for several minutes, taking photos and video like I was there for a purpose, all the while marvelling at the moment. There was a point where TBM gave me a proper ‘who the hell are you?’ glance, and I smiled back but I don’t think I appeased her.

 

Eventually a high-vis tapped me on the arm and gestured for me to leave. I didn’t want to push it, so I gestured as if to say ‘yeah mate, my job’s done anyway’ and left. 
 

I walked back out into the public area, wide eyed and buzzing, empty bladdered, and ready to party. 

This is only a twix away from being the best Glastonbury story I've ever read on the Internet. 

[CR77]

Not the greatest story... but was feeling shattered right before Pet Shop Boys on the Sunday in 2022, so ordered a couple of Double Rum + Cokes to perk me up (!)... when the bar staff handed me the drinks they apologised because the shot dispenser had broken, and they said they'd probably given me two Quadruple Rum + Cokes - LOL!  They didn't charge me, I downed them anyway, and err... had a VERY merry time!  (That's probably very lightweight compared to others on here, but that was a lot in one go for me!)

[Crazyfool01]

3 hours ago, kalifire said:

At a certain point last year, like most of us I suppose, I was bursting for the loo. I didn’t have a long drop nearby, wasn’t going to bank on there being no queues if I dashed for one, and certainly wasn’t going to pee on the farm. I was also out of Travel Johns, so my only real option was to try for a toilet where I wasn’t strictly supposed to go. 
 

I was in the SE corner, which for reasons unknown to me but would soon become apparent, was very busy. I spotted an old lady guarding a backstage entrance, whose job it was to check wristbands. In a fleeting move, I waited until others were occupying her attention, and moved behind them, flashing my wrist and a ‘not this again, I wish I could be anywhere else’ expression, and before I knew it, I was somewhere I had no right to be.

 

After a mad dash for the toilet, I realised I was now somewhere worth exploring. I strode quickly and purposefully, maintaining my ‘I’m supposed to be here, and it’s all getting old’ expression, and noticed I was receiving no pushback from any security, presumably because they all thought previous security had already done their job. So I gathered my bearings and moved past further security, exchanging a knowing nod. 
 

At this point I was inside a venue, backstage. I wasn’t sure where, but there was a black curtain being guarded by a final high-vis. I’d entered full ‘f**k it’ mode, and gave the same nod as the curtain was opened to me. I climbed some stairs, and this was my view.

 

 

I’d managed to amble straight into the DJ booth at The Blessed Madonna and Fred Again’s secret set at The Temple.

 

I couldn’t believe it. I stood there for several minutes, taking photos and video like I was there for a purpose, all the while marvelling at the moment. There was a point where TBM gave me a proper ‘who the hell are you?’ glance, and I smiled back but I don’t think I appeased her.

 

Eventually a high-vis tapped me on the arm and gestured for me to leave. I didn’t want to push it, so I gestured as if to say ‘yeah mate, my job’s done anyway’ and left. 
 

I walked back out into the public area, wide eyed and buzzing, empty bladdered, and ready to party. 

I think @BillieBobs might like this 🙂 

[Gnomicide]

3 hours ago, kalifire said:

At a certain point last year, like most of us I suppose, I was bursting for the loo. I didn’t have a long drop nearby, wasn’t going to bank on there being no queues if I dashed for one, and certainly wasn’t going to pee on the farm. I was also out of Travel Johns, so my only real option was to try for a toilet where I wasn’t strictly supposed to go. 
 

I was in the SE corner, which for reasons unknown to me but would soon become apparent, was very busy. I spotted an old lady guarding a backstage entrance, whose job it was to check wristbands. In a fleeting move, I waited until others were occupying her attention, and moved behind them, flashing my wrist and a ‘not this again, I wish I could be anywhere else’ expression, and before I knew it, I was somewhere I had no right to be.

 

After a mad dash for the toilet, I realised I was now somewhere worth exploring. I strode quickly and purposefully, maintaining my ‘I’m supposed to be here, and it’s all getting old’ expression, and noticed I was receiving no pushback from any security, presumably because they all thought previous security had already done their job. So I gathered my bearings and moved past further security, exchanging a knowing nod. 
 

At this point I was inside a venue, backstage. I wasn’t sure where, but there was a black curtain being guarded by a final high-vis. I’d entered full ‘f**k it’ mode, and gave the same nod as the curtain was opened to me. I climbed some stairs, and this was my view.

 

 

I’d managed to amble straight into the DJ booth at The Blessed Madonna and Fred Again’s secret set at The Temple.

 

I couldn’t believe it. I stood there for several minutes, taking photos and video like I was there for a purpose, all the while marvelling at the moment. There was a point where TBM gave me a proper ‘who the hell are you?’ glance, and I smiled back but I don’t think I appeased her.

 

Eventually a high-vis tapped me on the arm and gestured for me to leave. I didn’t want to push it, so I gestured as if to say ‘yeah mate, my job’s done anyway’ and left. 
 

I walked back out into the public area, wide eyed and buzzing, empty bladdered, and ready to party. 

 

These threads invariably turn into a combination of mildly amusing (at a push), not really random stuff or tales of people shitting themselves. 

You have broken the curse, @kalifire, an amazing story!

 

[flyingmonkeypigs]

2 hours ago, The Nal said:

This one always deserves an outing

 

 

 

I always had a tradition of watching Bodger and Badger in the Kidz Field. That year I was turned away due to the absence of any children with me. I later found out about this. Infuriating to say the least

[al_coholic]

I seem to remember The Bandstand, A Woman, and a bin full of rubbish. And that is probably enough detail

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

33 minutes ago, Gnomicide said:

 

or tales of people shitting themselves. 

 

 

Now, there;'s one for my bucket list.

[BillieBobs]

4 hours ago, Crazyfool01 said:

I think @BillieBobs might like this 🙂 

OMG Fred Again!!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍