singles thread

[Katster]

Okay, but applying that to the original question - why should sexual fidelity matter to *most* humans?

Why do most humans wish for exclusivity with a partner - not only consciously but also without even thinking about it?

That was the question - not why do we f**k, or make sweet love, or various other phrases involving sex.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Katster

[worm]

I've mainly said they aren't relationships. Not much more than that. I'm being dismissive of them because I used to do things like that, and found that I prefer something else. Which I enjoy far more. So as such I have dismissed them yes, discounted them, yes. But you go for your life. I'm not saying one is better than the other. I'm saying the one is better for me than the other.

Edited April 22, 2009 by worm

[Peevis]

Okay, but applying that to the original question - why should sexual fidelity matter to *most* humans?

Why do most humans wish for exclusivity with a partner - not only consciously but also without even thinking about it?

That was the question - not why do we f**k, or make sweet love, or various other phrases involving sex.

[Katster]

The harem

[Radar]

I think perhaps the word partner sums it up. A partnership means you scratch my back I scratch yours....it doesn't mean you scratch mine and everyone else's back

And, to add to that, Mr Cheese said to me when we first got together.....'I don't mind everyone else enjoying you, but can I please enjoy the best of you?'

I like that.

[worm]

Okay, but applying that to the original question - why should sexual fidelity matter to *most* humans?

Why do most humans wish for exclusivity with a partner - not only consciously but also without even thinking about it?

That was the question - not why do we f**k, or make sweet love, or various other phrases involving sex.

[sifi]

My SOLE point was that regardless of your idealism, they are relationships. And the irony is that your relationship, as holy as it is, is still based upon sex. Without sex, you wouldn't be a couple.

[sifi]

Insecurity and lack of conscious thought.

[worm]

I really do think it does go back to concepts of ownership, property even

[Radar]

Because when it's right, it's the most intense and powerful feeling in thing in all the world. the exclisivity is part of that, surely. The fact you share a secret something, so intense is an important part of your relationship.

Also sloppy seconds just don't do it for me!

[worm]

They aren't. They are transactions. As I said earlier, a bloke who pays a woman for sex every week for more than ten years - are they in a relationship?

And as for dismissing them, yes I have dismissed them FOR ME. You do what you want. They don't work for me.

[Peevis]

I presume however that you don't only chase virgins, Peeve?

[worm]

Knowing someone a hell of a lot better than just by virtue of shooting your load in them.

Edited April 22, 2009 by worm

[Katster]

But why should you expect that partner to be solely "your" partner? I really do think it does go back to concepts of ownership, property even - and that could be argued as being pretty dodgy.

Bless him, but that didn't mean "I don't mind you shagging other guys" - did it?

[Katster]

You're a romantic after all! I am delighted to hear it! These responses all seem to be tangential to the question though - why is that exclusivity so prized an aspect? What is it about having someone completely to yourself that is better or more perfect than allowing that person freedom?

[Radar]

Insecurity and lack of conscious thought.

[Radar]

Nope. Virgins only for me!

[sifi]

Yet you can't see how bigotted that attitude is or the offense it may cause?

Edited April 22, 2009 by sifimaster

[Radar]

Ahhh, but I am allowed freedom. The thing is, when I'm with someone, I no longer wish to sleep with other blokes. I prefer then to look rather than touch, and I don't even really look all that often, not in the same way as I do when single.

Edited April 22, 2009 by Radar

[sifi]

Why is sex different to shaking hands?

[Katster]

Are you really? Has he said "I don't mind you shagging other guys" - I don't think so from what you're saying above.

Obviously it is pretty much ideal if you genuinely don't feel the desire for anyone else. I'm not sure blokes get that - maybe the married man Sifi could dispute my claim there though?

[Peevis]

In Essex?! No but seriously...

[Radar]

Of course he hasn't, but that doesn't mean I'm not free to sleep with other blokes if I wish to. It is more the fact that I don't wish to, than him telling me I can't, that would stop me!

No amount of bitching from him would stop me from sleeping with someone else if I wanted to. Luckily he realises this and lets me be, he's the first bloke EVER to be like that with me and I thank him often for that.

He (Mr Cheese) gets it, he genuinely does.

[Katster]

What about the desire not to lose him - doesn't that stop you, as well?

In which case you aren't free to do as you choose - or at least, there are choices which have to be made.

[worm]

Any suggested text here? It's nice that you get my point but I feel like you could contribute more on this if you could be arsed? ???