singles thread

[brighteyes]

Mate, would you stand in front of a moving car? If you can see an accident coming, do the smart thing and get out the way! I've gone into some thing half heartedly thinking what's the worst that can happen; this is the worst logic in the world to have Don't feel awkward about her, your matey and you, as if she's going to end up jumping someone else she'll do it regardless of if it's you. The reason i'm saying get out of this situation though is that her wanting to move in with you and someone else straight after this happening is a little bit too convenient, and could put you in a really bad situation with your mate who's dating her (For example, if they do break up after she moves in, of course he's goin to think "I wonder if brighteyes had a go". No good can come from this situation).

[Snufflebutt]

That above event did happen 6 months ago though, so it's been a while.

I don't know why they aren't living together. He lives with his family over the other side of the city to the rest of us. Maybe they have discussed it and decided they're not ready yet, I'm not sure.

To be fair, she has no one else to live with, so it's me and my mate or strangers/alone. I'm not seriously suggesting she is consciously or subconsciously pursuing me, but it's not a good idea and I'm not comfortable with it at all. Perhaps I don't trust myself, as much as I don't trust her.

I've told her we'll think about it, but I'm not very good at saying no...

[brighteyes]

She's not ready to move in with her bf but she'll happily move in with her pal that she quite clearly fancies. Sounds like a rubbish girlfriend to me, maybe even a rubbish friend as well.

[-pogo-]

I think you're readin too much into it.

I have an idea to see if she's 6 months on faithful to her BF. Buy this hat, it's a lady killer, if she resists, let her move in! Then go and check the other stuff this fantastic person is selling!

[brighteyes]

I think you're readin too much into it.

I have an idea to see if she's 6 months on faithful to her BF. Buy this hat, it's a lady killer, if she resists, let her move in! Then go and check the other stuff this fantastic person is selling!

[rachbon]

It's going ahead now anyway, so she'll just have to try her best to keep her c**t in her pants.

[brighteyes]

why is she moving in with you if you don't want her to? tell her to get to f**k.

[Snufflebutt]

Approaching girls in clubs - whats the best way to do this without being creepy? When I go out with female friends, guys just surround them, slurping their drinks and glaring at them. Like, what sort of things should u say to get a conversation going?? This is basic, but this not having anyone is driving me bananas now....

[lolbeck]

Approaching girls in clubs - whats the best way to do this without being creepy? When I go out with female friends, guys just surround them, slurping their drinks and glaring at them. Like, what sort of things should u say to get a conversation going?? This is basic, but this not having anyone is driving me bananas now....

[brighteyes]

Approaching girls in clubs - whats the best way to do this without being creepy? When I go out with female friends, guys just surround them, slurping their drinks and glaring at them. Like, what sort of things should u say to get a conversation going?? This is basic, but this not having anyone is driving me bananas now....

[sadwitch]

Like, what sort of things should u say to get a conversation going??

[gemstarrr]

Approaching girls in clubs - whats the best way to do this without being creepy? When I go out with female friends, guys just surround them, slurping their drinks and glaring at them. Like, what sort of things should u say to get a conversation going?? This is basic, but this not having anyone is driving me bananas now....

[gemstarrr]

fuck buddies

good/bad idea?

can't decide whether to go for it or not. he's very keen but says he doesn't want anything serious which i don't either. but at the same time i don't know if i can stop myself getting too attached :/

[superdry]

fuck buddies

good/bad idea?

can't decide whether to go for it or not. he's very keen but says he doesn't want anything serious which i don't either. but at the same time i don't know if i can stop myself getting too attached :/

[Katster]

If you're thinking about it this much then you are already too attached. Serisouly, no thinking, no talking, no sharing of thoughts or emotions about what you're doing. Its the only way the f**k buddy thing works.

[Snufflebutt]

fuck buddies

good/bad idea?

can't decide whether to go for it or not. he's very keen but says he doesn't want anything serious which i don't either. but at the same time i don't know if i can stop myself getting too attached :/

[lolbeck]

Well, I don't really understand the whole f**k buddy phenomenon. If I was to start shagging one of my female pals, there would be literally no difference between that and us being boyfrend and girlfriend if you know what I mean. I'd hate the awkwardness in the morning as well - gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

Everyones different though - and it might depend on the level of your current relationship with your pal - like if he's only slightly more than an acquaintance or your best friend.

[gemstarrr]

yea i don't know him really well, but i would count him as a friend.

he's staying at my halls of residence so i've talked to him alot at parties and nights out over the year. but i'd never really seen him in that way til the other night when we were both drunk and ended up alone together after everyone else had left/passed out. we didn't actually go all the way though cos i stopped it. i knew i was trashed and didn't want to regret it cos wasn't sure how i felt about him.

so he's been texting me and then just straight out asked me if we'd see each other again like that or if it was something that just happened. so i said i wasn't really sure and he said he'd be cool with it but he doesn't want anything serious. so it's basically something casual. he just said to text him and didn't ask me on a date or anything so it's basically f**k buddies or friends with benefits i reckon.

still not seen him since in person yet but i really need to make my mind up asap or it'll be awkward :/

[superdry]

Well, I don't really understand the whole f**k buddy phenomenon. If I was to start shagging one of my female pals, there would be literally no difference between that and us being boyfrend and girlfriend if you know what I mean.

[Katster]

Well, I don't really understand the whole f**k buddy phenomenon. If I was to start shagging one of my female pals, there would be literally no difference between that and us being boyfrend and girlfriend if you know what I mean. I'd hate the awkwardness in the morning as well - gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

Everyones different though - and it might depend on the level of your current relationship with your pal - like if he's only slightly more than an acquaintance or your best friend.

[Katster]

Yeah, a f**k buddy is a one-night stand you keep having over and over again with no relationship or romance.

Just make sure you're mature enough and you both know/understnad what is before hand, a girl I quite liked kept using me as a f**k buddy and the whole thing started getting to me by the end.

[ampersand]

The thing is, you can do the whole restaurant/cinema/bowling type stuff without getting emotionally attached, if that's what you both want. Problems arise when one person starts getting feelings for the other and isn't honest about it/tries to kid themselves they can do the whole emotionless relationship thing. In my opinion there are a hell of a lot of people who think they can do the whole sex without ties thing, when in reality there's very few who actually can.

[Langdale Wolf]

I couldn't do it.

If I was to go all the way with someone, it would be because I felt enough for them to do it, not because it was 'convenient to release a bit of tension'. I think sex is quite a big thing and wouldn't want to share it with someone I didn't feel the right emotions towards. I wouldn't respect them, and respect is personally something I feel is very important within a physical relationship.

I understand why others would do it, but not for me.

(Well, that's obvious as I'm married but you know what I mean).

[Gre]

f**k buddies. Go for it if;

- you are ok to use them for sex

- you are ok for them to use you for sex

- you are ok to lose them as a friend should it get weird due to one of you getting attached

- you are ok to accept them walking away to f**k/go out with someone else

- you are ok to share them with someone else; if they're buddying you who's to say they're not buddying someone else

If any of the above don't apply, or you're at all not sure, keep your pants around your waist.

And after that rather negative advice, my wonderful experience of being back in the dating pool.

Went out with this girl a couple of times. A few days after the second time she drunkenly texted me to say she wished we'd kissed instead of having the awkward 'bye' moment. We'd arranged to meet up Saturday night for a few drinks.

On Friday she was at a wedding and invited me & housemates out to meet her & friends at a club in town afterwards. One of them & I went along- we arrive and she was pretty drunk (not that we were sober by any means), and we talked and danced for a bit & kissed. There was drunken conversations with her friends- basically she wanted to leave & the girl she was staying over with wanted to stay. So she came back to mine... we fooled about a bit, both before sleep and in the morning, but we didn't doink, at least partly because I didn't want her to think I was taking advantage.

We went out for dinner Saturday night (not drinks as originally planned as we were both tired/hungover) and again she stayed over- this time almost nothing happened, I assumed at the time due to the tiredness. Thinking back though on Saturday morning she had seemed very up doinking that night. Anyway... After we got in from dinner & a quick drink we sat in the front room with my housemates for a bit before going to bed. She left Sunday lunchtime and then sent me a text giving me the push later in the evening.

So yeah... Boo Didnt really see it coming. She said she was a bit freaked out by the situation with my ex - on Saturday afternoon I put as my facebook status that someone had tried to access my account at 5am, from the US with a mobile device. Coincidentally a few days earlier I blocked my ex - who lives in New York. So maybe that wasn't the greatest thing ever...

She also said I'd made some 'overly couply assumptions', which I'm not really sure about. I kissed her on the cheek when we woke up, and when she said when her birthday was (end of oct) I said that it was a major busy time for birthdays... other than that I'm not really sure what that meant. Mebbe I'm too used to being in a long-term couple or something. But then I suppose what one girl loves, another will hate.

God that's long looking back... I'm turning into Markeeee

So. Moral of the story; pretend I'm just as drunk as the girl, and take advantage to get my end away. And be more of a bastard. Or something like that

[dakyras]

yea i don't know him really well, but i would count him as a friend.

he's staying at my halls of residence so i've talked to him alot at parties and nights out over the year. but i'd never really seen him in that way til the other night when we were both drunk and ended up alone together after everyone else had left/passed out. we didn't actually go all the way though cos i stopped it. i knew i was trashed and didn't want to regret it cos wasn't sure how i felt about him.

so he's been texting me and then just straight out asked me if we'd see each other again like that or if it was something that just happened. so i said i wasn't really sure and he said he'd be cool with it but he doesn't want anything serious. so it's basically something casual. he just said to text him and didn't ask me on a date or anything so it's basically f**k buddies or friends with benefits i reckon.

still not seen him since in person yet but i really need to make my mind up asap or it'll be awkward :/