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Guest outtolunch

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feral chile Apprentice

feral chile

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I was 16 and my now husband was 22 when we met, I was working in the same place as him and he was my first boyfriend. we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary last year.

At that age, I just wanted to settle down. When I was older I sometimes used to panic that I'd missed out on stuff, mainly going to uni, which I did at 24. All the friends I made were a decade older than me though even then.

I was an unusual case though, I always had an old head on young shoulders, and seem to be aging backwards. I'm more like a teenager now than I ever was in my teens.

It can work, especially given the maturity levels of most young men. :P

Edited by feral chile
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markeee Newbie

markeee

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I have a very mature 17 year old, but in no way is he grown up enough to have a relationship with a 22 year old, there are always exceptions but most girls at 17 are still children no matter how mature they think they are.

Also some girls might actually go in for the playing hard to get routine, but generally, if a girl is hard to get its because she doesnt want to get got, move on, life's too short to waste time on luke warm people. she sounds a bit vague to me. :D

though maybe this explains it? I do have a girlfriend at the mo who is working her way through the book on dating rules, and it says some crap about if a guy asks you out for the saturday night and he asks you after wednesday turn him down as he should respect you enough to give you more notice. What a load of shite! so maybe too many girls are reading this book?

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Sparticus Collaborator

Sparticus

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By the logic of that book I don't respect my friends as I don't even give a hour's notice that I want to go out on any given night.

Speaking of girls that play hard to get, went across a couple of old texts and if a girl is going "yeah but no but yeah but no" who I don't see at work etc the tatic I seem to use is send them a message going along the lines "look I really like you so I am gonna ask you out one last time as I'm starting to feel stalkerish and no girl is worth that no matter how pretty and intresting they are" and I always seem to get the response "aww...you so cute/sweet how about Friday" worked for me about a dozen or so times.

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RABun Newbie

RABun

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The rules!

These are stupid! the one about responding to emails actually made me angry, how bloody rude! :angry:

Boys hopefully this will give you an idea of how girl,s are told to behave now.

Edit* actually thinking about it any girl that reads this and abides by it is probably too stupid to bother with.

Edited by RABun
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feral chile Apprentice

feral chile

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The rules!

These are stupid! the one about responding to emails actually made me angry, how bloody rude! :angry:

Boys hopefully this will give you an idea of how girl,s are told to behave now.

Edit* actually thinking about it any girl that reads this and abides by it is probably too stupid to bother with.

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RABun Newbie

RABun

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Unfortunately these rules also set women up to fail and feel bad about themselves if they don't follow the rules.

"Don't sleep with men before you have seen them 3 times" so if you do does that make you a slut? I say sleep with whomever you like, whenever you like just be careful.

they also seem to suggest that if you are not compfoirtable going to a restaurant or a party on your own without friends then you aren't good enough either.

Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It's the way you smile (you light up the room), pause in between sentences (you don't babble on out of nervousness), listen (attentively), look (demurely, never stare), breathe (slowly), stand (straight) and walk (briskly, with your shoulders back). When a relationship doesn't work out, you brush away a tear so that it doesn't smudge your makeup and you move on!
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Langdale Wolf Newbie

Langdale Wolf

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Life's too short for all this crap. just be yourself, and treat people how you'd like to be treated, with directness and respect. If that doesn't work then you're with the wrong person.

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feral chile Apprentice

feral chile

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Unfortunately these rules also set women up to fail and feel bad about themselves if they don't follow the rules.

"Don't sleep with men before you have seen them 3 times" so if you do does that make you a slut? I say sleep with whomever you like, whenever you like just be careful.

they also seem to suggest that if you are not compfoirtable going to a restaurant or a party on your own without friends then you aren't good enough either.

No pressure there then! Be a stepford wife!

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lolbeck Newbie

lolbeck

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I agree with it that's wrong to loose all his stuff and intrest in it for the sake of a maybe girl but he should be taught not to be so focused in 1 type of thing and try other stuff. It's more about being balanced in your intrests as the more you have the more conversations you can have with different people in general and not just girls. The cloths thing is stupid though as you should dress to give you confidence & comfort and if you cloths make you feel stupid it will show.

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ampersand Newbie

ampersand

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The email one is really rude. I'd class it as a pretty sure fire way of showing you're not interested, buuuut...apparently if I like someone, I'm supposed to ignore all their emails? What?

The bottom line is that those two women with the scary smiles on that website have noooo idea how people work. He's not asked you to propose in two years so you dump him? How bloody stupid can you be?

I was watching Made on MTV a day or two ago, and there was this really sweet nerdy guy who wanted to be "made" into a ladies' man. He was a bit too obsessed with superheroes, in that he dressed up as them when he got home from school (nawwwh). His "made coach", a dating coach from NY, told him that if he ever wanted a girlfriend, he had to throw out all his superhero costumes, all his action figures, his rare comic collection and had to stop hanging out with his nerdy friends. So he stripped his room bare, chucked out all his clothes and started wearing shirts and such that he admitted he felt stupid in.

It actually really pissed me off. I mean, yes, the Robin (as in, Batman and...) costume wasn't the sexiest thing in the world, but there was nowt wrong with the action figures or the comic collection. It bothered me that MTV thought it was okay to tell everyone that if they ever want to fall in love, they've got to fit in perfectly with everyone else :(

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markeee Newbie

markeee

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By the logic of that book I don't respect my friends as I don't even give a hour's notice that I want to go out on any given night.

Speaking of girls that play hard to get, went across a couple of old texts and if a girl is going "yeah but no but yeah but no" who I don't see at work etc the tatic I seem to use is send them a message going along the lines "look I really like you so I am gonna ask you out one last time as I'm starting to feel stalkerish and no girl is worth that no matter how pretty and intresting they are" and I always seem to get the response "aww...you so cute/sweet how about Friday" worked for me about a dozen or so times.

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markeee Newbie

markeee

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The correct 'rule' in one short paragraph.

There are no 'rules' because each and every one of us is different.

For every immature, child like 17 year old, I could show you an equally immature, child like 30 year old.

For every 'standoffish' girl, I could show you an equally 'standoffish' bloke.

etc, etc, etc.

I hate all this 'if you do x he or she will think y'. They might, but then again - they might not. Do what YOU feel is right. If it doesn't work out, maybe it's not because you texted back 25 seconds before the rules tell you to, and maybe because it wasn't meant to be?

I long for the day when men and women say what they want truthfully and honestly. The whole dating game would be so much easier.

My 'be yourself' method never, ever worked. But I didn't stop doing that. Then I met a lovely young lady who liked me for who I am. It was easy and natural and 6 years later, we're married with an 18 month old son, and a little girl due in 2 months.

BE YOURSELF.

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Kim Newbie

Kim

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Anything relationship er... related really. It used to be much more of a dating type thread for young (or old) hopefulls with a catagorised list and everything. :)

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