Interview advice please

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

well that's the trouble with these evolutionary theories, you can argue whatever suits. Why do men like mammary glands? What's remotely sexual about a part of the body that produces nourishment for our young? Yet it is, and that seems odd. Though whether it's cultural or not is hard to say. Even as a cultural fetish though, it's pretty strange to think male adult humans lust after something that's meant for babies.

[kaosmark2]

You could ask why do women like cocks. Going further you could also ask why they like bums (which many females of my acquaintance have indicated is an attraction, to my bewilderment). With the later you could say it's pretty strange to think that female adults could find sexual excitement from something that's meant to do poos.

[feral chile]

Because they're soft and warm and....

*ahem*

Perving aside, mammory glands are a sign that the mate can nourish a young. It shows they have the physical capabilities to be a mother.

Long legs is genetically linked to better health, hence why they've been considered attractive long-term.

Anything that's a sign of healthiness or ability to provide for young makes sense.

[Rufus Gwertigan]

or...breasts remind us of our mothers, and our childhood.

I've got a bit of a theory about paedophilia, that it's the childhood innocence that at least some paedophiles hanker after. So they go that one step further. Of course, they're never able to possess what they're looking for, because the attempt to possess it only results in the destruction of the very thing they're trying to attain. (That's a completely unscientific notion, not backed up with any evidence at all, just my opinion)

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

And male adults. And homosexuality.

I remain convinced most things are cultural.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

or...breasts remind us of our mothers, and our childhood.

I've got a bit of a theory about paedophilia, that it's the childhood innocence that at least some paedophiles hanker after. So they go that one step further. Of course, they're never able to possess what they're looking for, because the attempt to possess it only results in the destruction of the very thing they're trying to attain. (That's a completely unscientific notion, not backed up with any evidence at all, just my opinion)

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

That should read 'fuelled by malice'.

[kaosmark2]

I can't see why male homosexuals (don't have to be adults) have a fascination with bums either. I'm not standing in their shoes so I guess I'm not going to know. It's difficult to say that homosexuality is cultural though. I have more gay mates than you can shake a stick at and the ones I have talked to about it 'knew' they were gay from very early on in life ie before external influences would have shaped them as such. Although not categorical that would tend to err more towards the fact that it was always there. I think!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Male heterosexuals as well with female bums.

Noone can ever speak before external influences have had an effect. Whether enough to 'turn' someone I've no idea, but parental treatment/elder siblings/etc. all have an influence.

[kaosmark2]

I may be wrong but I reckon I asked one of my very dearest friends (who is gay) whether he had any problems with parental treatment, his sibling etc in early childhood before he 'knew' then I think he'd tell me no there weren't. I suppose I (and he) could be wrong though in that these 'influences' might be at a sub conscious level, or even have been blanked out because of their potency. Why would his family experiences or whatever leave him with a permanently gay inclination. Unless it was an isolated incident then one would have thought that his brother would be affected too. And he's a devout heterosexual.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I don't necessarily mean bad treatment, the idea that only negative influences could cause homosexuality would suggest it's a disease or something. Minor differences can have an effect, or early childhood friends and their influence.

I'm just speculating, but I can't see how homosexuality - something which will decrease a tendency towards having children - can be a genetic trait and in ~10% of the population.

[kaosmark2]

There are examples of homosexual behaviour in other animals too I believe. Rare but they exist all the same. Unless we are to think that they could also be affected by early influences, good or bad, then one would think that it was genetic. From there it wouldn't be a huge leap of faith to say that if it can be genetic in other animals why not us.

I'm not trying to say that it's categorically genetic or not. Really trying to play devil's advocate in saying that it can't be ruled out. Fact is, nobody knows.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I remember some birds being gay, especially two swans somewhere in the UK. Just went to look and found it's more widespread than birds; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animals_displaying_homosexual_behavior

Got to sign off now.

[grumpyhack]

I wonder whether fathers have more of a problem coming to terms with sons being gay than daughters coming out as lesbians. Equally do mothers struggle more with lesbian daughters than gay sons?

My elder daughter 'came out' a couple of years ago and I'll never forget the evening in an Italian restaurant when my daughter and her friend announced they were 'an item.' I wasn't too distressed but my wife found it much harder to come to terms with. She tried to console herself with statements like "It's probably just a passing phase."

Since then my daughter and her friend have entered into a Civil Partnership and they seem very happy together. My wife generally accepts it but I think still envisages the day when it will come to an end and my daughter will swing back.

[Rufus Gwertigan]

Any idea which animals? It could be ones with a higher level of intelligence (I just mean that literally, not sentience), and some degree of culture/sexual pleasure beyond breeding.

Yeah, I'm not ruling it out properly, just saying from my (a-level only) understanding of genetics, it doesn't seem likely to be the dominant factor.

[feral chile]

I was wondering whether it's more a cultural thing that humans divide sexuality into straight, gay and bi, while animals just have sex with whatever they feel like?

[feral chile]

I wonder whether fathers have more of a problem coming to terms with sons being gay than daughters coming out as lesbians. Equally do mothers struggle more with lesbian daughters than gay sons?

My elder daughter 'came out' a couple of years ago and I'll never forget the evening in an Italian restaurant when my daughter and her friend announced they were 'an item.' I wasn't too distressed but my wife found it much harder to come to terms with. She tried to console herself with statements like "It's probably just a passing phase."

Since then my daughter and her friend have entered into a Civil Partnership and they seem very happy together. My wife generally accepts it but I think still envisages the day when it will come to an end and my daughter will swing back.

[feral chile]

do you think your open-mindedness had anything to do with that?

I like the way you put it..."I resolved to be"... as if it was a choice you made.

the only thing I worried about was one of my daughters getting a motor-bike...

[feral chile]

I just can't understand how a parent can turn their back on a kid like that... Fecking scum...

[feral chile]

There seems to be a crunch point for some parents, where they just can't do it any more... sometime around when their child gets to the early to mid-teens. We had a steady succession of kids (3) who'd been disowned and kicked out of their home, coming to stay at ours. Sometimes there's a reason, sometimes not. The child turning into an adult, and developing their own identity is just too much for some parents

I don't know what they expected

[kaosmark2]

I think sometimes it comes down to ultimatums - the parent tries to shock the child into backing down - 'while you're in our house you'll live by our rules' sort of thing, and it escalates past the point of no return. It's really sad.

[Rufus Gwertigan]

Yup. Ego, standing ground, refusing to compromise, ultimatums. Eventually it goes beyond the issue that started the argument and just into principled stubborness. From both sides.

[kaosmark2]

Kids eh? You cant live with them and you cant eat them either.

[Rufus Gwertigan]

That's just what society wants you to believe.

[kaosmark2]

It would save a lot of the expense at Christmas.