is it wrong, that one the things i most look forward to......

[Langdale Wolf]

well, i gotta be honest- when i started this thread i expected 2 replies at most, and i expected both of them to be mildly abusive or disgusted...i am genuinely happy that the green metal sanctuary has more fans than just me

i think we need some 'shouts' for that moment the bundle leaves the rear door and starts its fast downward trajectory...and i wanna hear them onsite at the appropriate moment

something like, "bombs away" or "watch out below"...any other suggestions?

[jamiejc]

Having a number 2 in a longdrop, when it's raining is a surreal experience, only at worthy farm....

Edited April 23, 2008 by jamiejc

[mikeb]

You're all sick people, very, very sick people but I cannot deny that longdrops rule !! Never sat foot (or anything else for that matter) in a turdis and don't intend to break the habit of a lifetime this year either. Al-fresco pooing all the way.

Mind you, slightly disconcerting the first time in the rain, having water running where water shouldn't be and all that

Edited April 23, 2008 by mikeb

[superdry]

Some suggestions?

How about:

• AAAAAARRGGHH!!! For Christs sake people - stay away from the Hare Krishna's food - it's free for a reason. Agony!!

• I got 99 problems but my shit ain't one

• Fire in the hole!

• Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring...

• Surely you can't be serious? I am serious, and don't call me Shirley

• The white zone is for loading only. There is no dumping in the white zone

• If you're happy and you know it, clang your door *CLANG CLANG*

[Bad Boy Bubby]

Mind you, slightly disconcerting the first time in the rain, having water running where water shouldn't be and all that

[Ghostkiss]

I needed to show my daughter (the one I'm bringing to Glosat) this thread. She has now decided the she's gonna hold it for 5 days !!

[Ghostkiss]

Glosat = Glasto (before 1st cup of coffee)

[midnight_toker]

Some suggestions?

How about:

• AAAAAARRGGHH!!! For Christs sake people - stay away from the Hare Krishna's food - it's free for a reason. Agony!!

• I got 99 problems but my shit ain't one

• Fire in the hole!

• Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring...

• Surely you can't be serious? I am serious, and don't call me Shirley

• The white zone is for loading only. There is no dumping in the white zone

• If you're happy and you know it, clang your door *CLANG CLANG*

Edited April 23, 2008 by midnight_toker

[clockworkpurple]

well, i gotta be honest- when i started this thread i expected 2 replies at most, and i expected both of them to be mildly abusive or disgusted...i am genuinely happy that the green metal sanctuary has more fans than just me

i think we need some 'shouts' for that moment the bundle leaves the rear door and starts its fast downward trajectory...and i wanna hear them onsite at the appropriate moment

something like, "bombs away" or "watch out below"...any other suggestions?

[Hazey Jamie]

TIMMMMMMMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[BiBi_Fest]

my technique could better be labelled 'Ritual' !!!

5 wet wipes

Loo roll/Tissues

Take deep breath

Hold breath

enter toilet that has just been vacated by a GIRL - this often means she may have cleaned it up a bit too.

enter toilet, ensure toilet seat is present (if not begin process anew)

lock door (if no lock begin process anew)

wipe toilet seat thoroughly with wet wipe (if anything more than 'dribbleage' begin process anew)

rip two wet wipes in half, place the four halves to totally cover toilet seat

ensure no involuntary glances down the long drop

uncover the barest amount of flesh to ensure success of operation

gingerly place self upon be-decked seat

try various techniques to combat the stage fright, talk calmly to your bowels (but only in your mind!!)

go to the happy place in your mind while doing 'business'

try stay in happy place while men look over the top of the loo and people try opening the door

try stay in happy place while keeping all clothing off the floor/walls/'bench' front

finish 'business' (mentally ensure you wont need to go again all day at the very least)

wipe

wipe again

throw all wipes+loo roll in long drop (ensure no involuntary 'i dont want to look but its difficult not to' looks into the pit)

wipe hands

wipe again

secure clothing

open door

thank the lord our God that its over

resume breathing

Unless im drunk - then its just

arrive

sh*t

wipe

leave

Gotta say, the first time i got giddy (tummy tinglingly giddy mind!) was thinking about the 'Clanging' sounds that can only mean ur at a festival !!

[Steve P]

try various techniques to combat the stage fright, talk calmly to your bowels (but only in your mind!!)

Edited April 23, 2008 by Steve P

[Chocky]

You don't actually sit on the seats do you??

Just grip the top of the door firmly for hovering support (this also shows folks you are there) and squeeze one out - jobs a good'un

[Hazey Jamie]

You don't actually sit on the seats do you??

Just grip the top of the door firmly for hovering support (this also shows folks you are there) and squeeze one out - jobs a good'un

[ollyrag]

You don't actually sit on the seats do you??

Just grip the top of the door firmly for hovering support (this also shows folks you are there) and squeeze one out - jobs a good'un

[mikespike]

Those who show disgust at using the long drops need to eat a spoonful of cement and Harden the Fark Up!

The first visit is always the worst, because you always build it up in your mind. By Sunday, you are wondering how you ever lived without a long drop!

I reckon the worst bit is watching the poo pumps in action... to quote the Australian movie "Kenny" -

"I see the problem, what we have here is a 1 inch pipe coupled with a 2 inch arse!"

[greeneyes1980]

how much money would have to be in your wallet for you to consider doing some fishing?

[midnight_toker]

You don't actually sit on the seats do you??

Just grip the top of the door firmly for hovering support (this also shows folks you are there) and squeeze one out - jobs a good'un

[balti-pie]

hover? pah. door support? pah. if the seat needs a wipe, wipe it. otherwise sit down and relax. whats the problem if your bum touches someone else's dry wee? its only your bum, its not like you're gonna eat off it or anything!

siddown, have a look at the stickers on the back of the door (last time i found out what a mooncup is - not particularly required knowledge, but one day it might be useful) and maybe look up and enjoy the warm, balmy sunshine and light breeze. hopefully there wont be anyone looking over the top of the door - the weirdos - and set about emptying your bowels. its a fine way to start the day, the right way.

and hazey jamie, my name's jamie too. so we've both got the same first name, we are both spurs fans, and we share a mutual love of a mighty crap! now THAT'S gotta be worth a natter over a freezing cold pint of pear cider, surely!

you are not you, you're me!

[Hazey Jamie]

hover? pah. door support? pah. if the seat needs a wipe, wipe it. otherwise sit down and relax. whats the problem if your bum touches someone else's dry wee? its only your bum, its not like you're gonna eat off it or anything!

siddown, have a look at the stickers on the back of the door (last time i found out what a mooncup is - not particularly required knowledge, but one day it might be useful) and maybe look up and enjoy the warm, balmy sunshine and light breeze. hopefully there wont be anyone looking over the top of the door - the weirdos - and set about emptying your bowels. its a fine way to start the day, the right way.

and hazey jamie, my name's jamie too. so we've both got the same first name, we are both spurs fans, and we share a mutual love of a mighty crap! now THAT'S gotta be worth a natter over a freezing cold pint of pear cider, surely!

you are not you, you're me!

[ollyrag]

it's a deal!! it would be wrong not to meet......nearer the time we'll arrange a wednesday or thursday rendezvous!

[Chocky]

noooooo, this is how the effluent and loose stools end up on the seat.....stop being a wimp and sit down.....wipe the seating area first if necessary

Edited April 23, 2008 by Chocky

[Peachy]

and hazey jamie, my name's jamie too. so we've both got the same first name, we are both spurs fans, and we share a mutual love of a mighty crap! now THAT'S gotta be worth a natter over a freezing cold pint of pear cider, surely!

you are not you, you're me!

[Hazey Jamie]

No first names you are number two

and turd after much meditation whilst on my porcelain throne this morning, I took onboard your valuable contribution in starting this thread and have decided to make you admin in our group so technically you are now number two as well but you shall be known as number two turd

Steve P shall be known as P for the purpose of the meet

philistine

[William of Walworth]

This thread could form the basis of a BOOK!

The Joy Of Longdrops ! in the style of the late Alex Comfort (if he'd ever been to Glasto) with graphic line drawn illustrations in the style of the original ones ...

Last year, The Longdrop Experience (R, TM) was better than sex

(I wasn't getting any then )

Edited April 23, 2008 by William of Walworth