Boardmasters 2022 - on the way to being the UK Coachella

 

Boardmasters is back for the 2022 edition and unlike most of its peers the festival somehow got through the pandemic-infested 2021 without having to cancel. Year two of the new abnormal - in an August week caught in the triangular crossfire of freakishly difficult issues plaguing the nation. 

 

It’s bonkers to think that Boardmasters had to be called off in 2019 for ridiculously gales; here we are in 2022 with one of the hottest weeks we’ve ever experienced. It’s too hot, frankly, but what Boardmasters has as its USP is an absolutely beautiful location in Newquay, with the beaches at Watergate Bay, and a brilliant musical lineup never flirting with the stale or stagnant. This is reflected expertly with the diverse headliners of singalong crowd pleaser George Ezra, DJ superstars Disclosure and American heavyweights Kings Of Leon, the cliche of there being “something for everyone” applies well to Boardmasters. The undercard also doesn’t slouch and is full of delights for the different genre lovers, ranging from local punk favourites IDLES to the huge-already Self Esteem and mainstream populo’s Bastille. Think Reading festival with a more beautiful location and sunnier disposition. 

 

At times, the relentless freak logistical, environmental and economic issues of 2022 start to threaten everything. The hotter-than-hell drought sometimes sparked queues for water refill that tested the mostly teen audience’s patience. Some unfortunate souls were even trapped for hours trying to leave the festival in their cars on the last night due to a broken down bus blocking traffic - though anyone driving in the South West is well aware of the narrow windy lanes that can render you stuck behind a tractor for hours. The hostile heat prompted repeated messages from the organisers to wear sunscreen and to stay hydrated - and many in the crowd were struggling with the temperature whilst waiting at the front to witness their favourite artists. Thankfully, the security throughout the weekend were ultra-vigilant and stayed on their A-game. The whole thing would have collapsed instantly without them. 

 

In terms of demographic, you’d struggle to find anyone over the age of twenty amongst the audience, or indeed anyone actually wearing a clothing top. Towards the festival end, the liberated spirit of youth threatened to turn things into Lord Of The Flies; one imagines Kurtz sailing down the river towards Conrad’s Heart Of Darkness. Boardmasters was either the apocalypse or the most fantastic place on earth depending on what hour you asked people and how hot the sun besieged Watergate Bay. The festival campsite was a contained cauldron of liberated and unleashed vitality - scary if you’ve never seen a tent set on fire before (but nothing if you’ve ever been to most of the mainstream festivals).  If you have any doubts about your age, Boardmasters will make you feel old in a heartbeat. The kidz (sic) would have to be reasonably well off though, as cans of water were costing £3 and festival-cost items such as a bowl of macaroni cheese reaching their astronomical £12! This is England currently alas - and certainly not a specific Boardmasters issue. 

 

Back to the music, and what George Ezra lacked in movement he made up for in terms of likeability and singalong appeal - he’s already a future headliner around the circuit. Disclosure certainly energised the crowd with their dance tunes - but were visually a bit dull )making this reviewer sound like a total dinosaur). You know what to expect with Kings Of Leon - next to no stage interaction with the crowd and next to no rock-and-roll action from the rockers - but their setlist was mostly a crowd pleasing roster and they of course ended with Sex On Fire. Some bored kids had already piled towards the dance stages at that point - missing the only song that they knew. 

 

Back to reality a couple of days later, and flash floods in the South West and hats off to all of the (very friendly) team running all the aspects of the Boardmasters festival - the most extreme of weather, challenging economic conditions, hedonistic youth, a location almost at the corner of the map - it’s destined to be a disaster. AND YET, Boardmasters manages to still triumph and stays magical. No longer a niche festival devoted to catering for surfers, this is now one of the most musically significant checkpoints of the UK annual calendar. With a few tweaks for next year, and listening to some of the feedback, the festival could easily become THE answer to Britain’s version of Coachella. It certainly looks the part and everyone certainly looked beautiful. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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